They say you can’t go home again
But I went back and met a friend
A second friend! A third! A fourth!
So many friends I have up north
We played some games and ate good food
Which put me in a happy mood
I had some wine they drank some beer
Can’t wait to do again next year
As I walk through the packed aisles and I look to my right
I see a game that I want and I devise to squeeze in tight
‘Coz I’ve been planning and reading so long, that
I got to buy this game before it is gone
You see Rahdo told me that this one is phenomenal
Because negative interaction is nominal
Then my wallet does the talkin’, and I start walkin’
Until Boydell’s new game is blockin’
I really love his games, so I buy it, dude
He better sign the box or that would be quite rude, fool
I’m the board game geek that goes around with a Pope hat
So all the folks in the math trade hall know where I’m at
Though I’ve only been there twice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Tokens, cards, minis and dice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Kickstarter’s my only vice
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
Buying games at twice the price
Essen is a gamer’s paradise
I play two games in the morning
I play two games at night
I play two games in the afternoon
It makes me feel alright
I play two games when I’m at home
And two at a game store
I play two games before I play two games
And then I play two more
190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!
It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”
For your big day I have a treat
It’s not a meal that you can eat
It’s not a check that you can cash
It’s not a place where you can crash
It’s not a board game you can play
It’s not a dye job for that gray
It just might give a spirit lift
This poem is your birthday gift
Dead of Winter for our game night
Though midsummer and no frostbite
Zombies think we’re on the menu
Our survivors search each venue
Hospital and police station
Emptied decks at each location
Not one dude was undead dinner
Met my goal, so I was winner!
The thing I did, did not get done
The game I played, did not get won
The deal I planned, did not get made
The job I worked, did not get paid
The clothes I washed, did not get clean
The gig I showed, did not get seen
Despite hard work for this soirée
No music will be heard today
I wish I was a polyglot
But one language is all I’ve got
I tried Spanish and Irish too
“Hello”, “Goodbye”, and “How are you?”
So, Duolingo helps to train
These languages inside my brain
Wednesday night is my game night
And tonight was out of sight
Loot Letter and Isle of Skye
Carson City – my oh my
I will show up every week
‘Cause I am a board game geek
Someone blended “my” and “people”
And that portmanteau was “meeple”
Gamers love them – wood or plastic
Some are simple – some fantastic
Fighters, wizards, thieves and clerics
Dinos, pirates, and oil derricks
You can choose your favorite symbol
Better than a boot or thimble
Today could be chucked in a bin
A grounded plane with damaged skin
Another plane but had to wait
I missed the bus ’cause we were late
Then had to stand out in the cold
All the delays had gotten old
And traffic as we got to Naas
We crawled along at a snail’s pace
Then at long last, I made it home
And quickly bought Glory to Rome
‘Cause Tony said to this weekend
And I obey my foul-mouthed friend
Soon I will be there in Essen
Queueing for a board game lesson
Richard, Tony, Matt and Uwe
Will show we their new games to play
Blackout: Hong Kong, Carpe Diem
I will buy ’em when I see ’em
So much playing and more buying
Pretty sure my wallet’s crying
Fill the shelves with books and games
Put the pictures into frames
Find a home for all the socks
Set the time on all the clocks
Football to distract my brain
Anything to numb the pain
As a game geek, I’m not messin’
Really wish I was in Essen
Charterstone is on the hot list
Gaia Project cannot be missed
Scottish Clans are making whisky
Tony Boydell has some Nice Tea
Transatlantic, Keyper, Merlin
Now my mind cannot stop whirlin’
Altiplano, Codenames: Duet
All my gaming needs would be met
Though my love for games won’t lessen
Really wish I was in Essen
Tomorrow I will #PlayMoreGames
I hope I get to play Codenames
Pandemic, Eclipse and Blood Rage
Caverna, Wiz War and Stone Age
There’s gobs of games that feature trains
Or Zombie Dice with eating brains
I’ll trade for wood, stone, sheep and clay
When I play games this Saturday!
There once was a half-orc named Oloch
Who got his sword stuck in the bedrock
It wasn’t that dumb
He channeled Gorum
Which helped him defeat a dark warlock
If you like beer and board games too
Then you should Kickstart Dragon Brew
You choose your favorite mythic race
Then draft some cards and worker place
It’s fun to play and not a chore
So back it to “Make Beer, Not War!”
I want to party with Kristen and Dax
They both know how to have fun and relax
After the awards, they pulled out Catan
They had wood for sheep and got their geek on
There is a house upon the hill
The quickest glance can bring a chill
My friends and I answered a call
But that grim house betrayed us all
We searched the manse from room to room
Until we found unending doom
Try as I might, I cannot block
The horrors of the Widow’s Walk!
When Eyrewood’s under attack
The villagers are quick to act
They tie a knot on a tree’s notch
To summon aid from the Thornwatch
The watch bring hope when there is fear
And ebb makes sure evil is near
When darkness lurks there is no rest
To all who dwell in the forest
If you’re seeking adventures grand
The Eyrewood could use a hand
But briar thorns are all you got
So find a birch, and tie a knot
Dungeons and Dragons is a game
No two adventures are the same
If demogorgon is your foe
The Dungeon Master’s not your bro
You try to cast a fireball
But rolling seven’s your downfall
When armed with rocks and wrist-bound slings
You may encounter Stranger Things
Poap is goblin warrior
Stabbing foes is not a bore
When he cuts, your blood will pour
Then he’ll do it more, more, more!
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Poap is hungry ’cause he’s fat
So he ate your smelly cat
If you’re not okay with that
He will chop your head off – splat!