Now that’s a hen party!

The ladies all love charming Bingo
And also his Pegasus Wingo
They give blushing brides
Wild pre-wedding rides
Together they lustfully sing-o


Sweetie Pea eternally

How should I prepare
For grief that’s always there?
It never goes away
And surfaces each day
Loneliness and sorrow
Escalates tomorrow
I’m sure I’ll shed a tear
She’s gone another year


The days between

Five days of reflection
With intense affection
For my one and only
While I’m feeling lonely
Sunday was the first date
Thursday is the worst date
Sunday I romance her
Thursday – fucking cancer
Even though it’s four years
This week still brings more tears
Will it dwindle? Never
Sweetie Pea forever!


Weather or not

Another scorcher
Not a thunderstorm in sight
Fuck you Met √Čireann


There ain’t no cure for the summertime blues

Therapy day – therapy day
I always feel better on therapy day
My cheeks are much wetter on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I talk about issues on therapy day
I fly through the tissues on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I wallow in sadness on therapy day
I tamp down the madness on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I don’t talk about you on therapy day
I just talk about you on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I weird laugh and gross cry on therapy day
I can’t wait to have my next therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day


Animate Objects FTW!

We were in a dungeon
At least six levels deep
I cast Animate Objects
I was a rock lobber!
Rock lobber – rock lobber
We were on a new plane
Everybody had leveled up
Somebody then opened a lock
And there they saw a vrock
It wasn’t a roc
I was a rock lobber
Rock lobber – rock lobber
Dwarf is a cleric, bard is halfling
Everybody’s clashin’ – everybody’s bashin’
Flyin’ over lava – gettin’ stunned
Blastin’ demons, blastin’ till it’s done
He was a big pest – we need a short rest
Pass the healing potion
Here comes a giant boar
There goes a manticore
In walked a blink dog
There goes a death dog
Chased by a werecat
In flew a sea hag
Watch out for that beholder
There goes a dragon
Here comes a demogorgon!


She took all the juice from the humpback

There once was a surfer named Lulu
Who rode big waves in Honolulu
She also rode Ken
Who hung more than ten
His longboard would make her go cuckoo


Walk the walk

We are walking to show we care
We are walking ’cause they’re not there
We are walking for survivors
We are walking for your fivers
We are walking to find a cure
We are walking all night for sure
We are walking for Jean my wife
We are walking – Relay for Life



England suffers from football fate
They forgot to close the Southgate
Rashford, Sancho and young Saka
At penalties, they were caca
But here across the Irish Sea
No tears were shed for those missed three
We celebrate – #ItsGoingRome
Meanwhile our team never left home


A short burst of inconsequential information

There is a web app known as Twitter
That most people read on the shitter
Unless you’re spray tanned
And forever banned
Then you sue them ’cause you are bitter


Now the real fireworks start!

For the next four months
Gird your loins and prepare for
Passels of pumpkins!


Mine and mine alone

You might know a bit about me
But a leaf is not the whole tree
I don’t need your analytics
I don’t need to hear from critics
I don’t want to hear your hot take
What do you know ’bout my heartache?
I decide when I am ready
When I’m ready to go steady


A wee bit of divil in her

A handsome young devil named Kevin
Took hundreds of women to heaven
When his dick got straight
It far surpassed eight
And went all the way to eleven

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