Stop the shaming

The Jizztrumpet says she is fat
He thinks there’s nothing wrong with that
The Jizztrumpet says she’s a pig
He thinks that she just got too big
The Jizztrumpet says she’s a slob
He thinks she cannot do her job
The Jizztrumpet degrades her face
He thinks her looks are a disgrace
Remember this when time to vote
Shove all these shames right down his throat!



I’m working on a secret site
I’m building it with all my might
I’m confident that when it’s done
You’ll think it is a lot of fun


I’m a master debater

It’s time to watch the first debate
NBC’s Holt will moderate
Clinton and Trump do not equate
Her plan is to perpetuate
Obama’s years that end at eight
While Jizztrumpet embraces hate
He thinks the US isn’t great
Brown people he’d incarcerate
Or even worse – forced emigrate
These views should make voters irate
But they will just self-medicate
And experts will prognosticate
While sycophants congratulate
Each presidential candidate
I hope tonight will motivate
Undecideds who chose to wait
To see these two deliberate
The stakes I cannot understate
There’s time to guard the whole world’s fate
Please register, it’s not too late


Can’t stand now can they?

If you’re born with skin that’s black
There’s a target on your back
Even with hands in the air
Law enforcement doesn’t care
To them, you’re a big bad dude
Fuck that racist attitude
When that song plays, “Don’t you sit!”
That’s when white folks give a shit
More concerned that you don’t stand
While the blood drips from their hand


Skittles are tasty
Trump is tasteless

Trump spews hate through cryptic riddles
Humans are not bowls of skittles
While his children expel toxin
Onto kids driven like oxen
We should recognize this villain
Can’t be cured with penicillin
Voting is the only answer
To prevent this orange cancer


Prepare to be boarded!

If ye want to plunder booty
Of a Jolly Roger cutie
Ask her with a salty swagger
If she’ll scabbard yer big dagger


His favorite preserve is strawberry

I once had a roommate named Jerry
His interest in porn was quite scary
He really liked when
A bunch of women
Would live in a house on the prairie


Dating tips from a master ex-dater

Plan out what you want to wear
Trim your nails and wash your hair
Tweeze the long hairs in your nose
Clean the fungus ‘tween your toes
Do this if you want to date
Or you’ll have to masturbate


Deserving strong condemnation #SeemsFair

Putting racists in a basket
Makes them blow their hate-filled gasket
Deplorable fits them quite well
Those that like Trump should go to hell


I hope your birthday is swell

It’s happy birthday time
My gift for you is rhyme
Your day will be sublime
It’s happy birthday time
I hope your birthday is swell
I hope you live long and well
I hope that you do not dwell
On jerks who should go to hell


Tip me over and I’m greater than infinity

On three squared / three squared
I’ll be seven squared years old
Yet I am still round


I gained the knot of wings #thornwatch

When Eyrewood’s under attack
The villagers are quick to act
They tie a knot on a tree’s notch
To summon aid from the Thornwatch
The watch bring hope when there is fear
And ebb makes sure evil is near
When darkness lurks there is no rest
To all who dwell in the forest
If you’re seeking adventures grand
The Eyrewood could use a hand
But briar thorns are all you got
So find a birch, and tie a knot


A vote for HRC is a vote for taco trucks

Four taco trucks are over there
More taco trucks are everywhere
There are so many taco trucks
Latinos have caused this influx
Their culture is so dominant
Their tacos are so prominent
We cannot stop these taco trucks
They’re taking over like Starbucks

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