210813

210813
Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th

Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent

210709

210709
A short burst of inconsequential information

There is a web app known as Twitter
That most people read on the shitter
Unless you’re spray tanned
And forever banned
Then you sue them ’cause you are bitter

210505

210505
Sinko de Trumpo

From Facebook, Twitch and Twitter
Jizztrumpet is still banned
His absence makes me titter
Good people think it’s grand
On many social websites
His antics aren’t allowed
He now continues his fights
By yelling at a cloud

210120

210120
Frustration turns to jubilation

This is no exaggeration
Four years is a long duration
To endure annihilation
Of this once majestic nation
Now eager anticipation
For Biden’s inauguration
And the giddy expectation
Jizztrumpet’s incarceration

210106

210106
Un bucking felievable

Jizztrumpet is an ass
The proud boys he did ask
Stand by – stand back – en masse
Then Capitol trespass
And Congress to harass
Not one of them has class
DC police now has
To shoot them with tear gas

201228

201228
I thought the day would never come

This year needs a fucking conclusion
Impeached due to Russian collusion
Then masks that cause facial contusion
We’ve all suffered from forced seclusion
We can’t have a big celebration
But one thing will bring jubilation
And comfort to every nation…
Spontaneous ejaculation!!!

201113

201113
He hates everything trans

Jizztrumpet has made it his mission
To fuck up Joe Biden’s transition
The fat orange turd
Is crude and absurd
His petulance reeks of sedition

201109

201109
Four seasons total landscaping

Joe Biden might be sleepy
But Jizztrumpet is weepy
He’s also super creepy
And just might savor peepee
He’s really good at lying
While so many are dying
Now in his bunker crying
We’ll need Joe’s unifying

201102

201102
Do the right thing

Voters please don’t let us down
Run that jackass out of town
I’m fed up with dirty tricks
That’s why I want forty-six

201007

201007
Please baby please baby please baby baby baby please

Every night, can’t stop doomscrolling
Covid-19, right-wing trolling
Sanity is slowly slidin’
Need a win from ol’ Joe Biden

201002

201002
Hope they try bleach

The virus that’s bad for angina
Has spread far from Wuhan in China
From a flying mouse
Into the White House
Transported in Hope Hicks’ vagina

200930

200930
He won’t denounce white supremacy!

The Jizztrumpet lets people die
And won’t denounce the racist right
Instead he says, “stand back, stand by”
He proudly made the Proud Boys’ night

200824

200824
Color me bad

Do bronze prawns wear long johns?
A black yak might blow his stack
A blue gnu would be cuckoo
A pink mink would make you think
A teal seal would be unreal
A peach leech – you must impeach

200812

200812
Crazy about Kamala

Deck the polls I’m voting Biden
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Goodbye Pence, and also bye Don
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Harris will be a great VP
Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la
Now for sure a blue wave we’ll see
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la

200805

200805
He has a pointless point of view

There’s no place in the world for this angry old man
With his thousands of lies and his dumb TikTok ban
He abuses his post, this abuse his downfall
His legacy’s broke like that Mexico wall
And he’s proud as a peacock ’cause he’s a mob boss
And he struggles with facts his soul is a loss
And we’d liked to be rid of this angry old man

200715

200715
They don’t fucking care

They don’t care if you die
For they need their nails done
They don’t care if you die
So you can’t take their gun
They don’t care if you die
They won’t reuse a bag
They don’t care if you die
But they’ll weep for a flag
They don’t care if you die
But they love them some cops
They don’t care if you die
But Jizztrumpet is tops
They don’t care if you die
So they won’t wear a mask
They don’t care if you die
They won’t do what you ask
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die

200703

200703
Yankee Doodle Dickhead

He’s a Yankee Doodle failure
He let so many people die
Coronavirus hasn’t gone away
Here on the Fourth of July
He is our Yankee Doodle nightmare
He’s our Yankee Doodle shit
Yankee Doodle fucked up DC
Just to help his cronies
He is the racist Jizztrumpet

200529

200529
#ICantBreathe

Black men live in fear and terror
Homicide by a badge wearer
They don’t want to burn and riot
They just want some peace and quiet
Police murder due to pigment
White privilege is not a figment
Racists love Jizztrumpet’s chatter
More than ever, #BlackLivesMatter

200525

200525
He wants “Fore!” more years

A man is not a man
Who golfs while many die
He has no thoughtful plan
He does not even try

200403

200403
The palm seen round the world

A face palm by Anthony Fauci
Made hot-tempered Jizztrumpet grouchy
The doc now gets threats
From dumb MAGA pets
Who want to give Fauci an ouchy

200219

200219
Ja oder Nein

You might be liberal
But you’re probably fascist
Or Secret Hitler

200217

200217
Vent and lament

It’s absolutely evident
The US has no president
They have a truly arrogant
Jizztrumpet who sows discontent
He’s broken every covenant
Emphatically with ill intent
I hate him one million percent
And if you like him go get bent

200203

200203
Not in Ukraine either

Kansas City Chiefs
Despite what Jizztrumpet thinks
Don’t play in Kansas

200108

200108
Made you look

I make a thing that no one sees
It can’t be touched nor can you squeeze
I make this thing three times a week
I know you know of what I speak
This thing is made out of my brain
If I don’t rhyme, I’ll go insane
This thing I make I hope you care
And if you do, I hope you share

191030

191030
Scariest TV family

They sling a lot of mucky
They’re awful and they’re sucky
They’re altogether yucky
Jizztrumpet family
Dad’s skin could use some bleaching
His kids are good at leaching
I’m hoping for impeaching
Jizztrumpet family
Tweet
Tweet
Retweet
Pelosi is a calling
The house of cards is falling
I hope to see them bawling
Jizztrumpet family

191007

191007
Monica Zelensky

The bravest use of a whistle
Might see this asshole’s dismissal
Just like Bill Clinton years ago
The Jizztrumpet falls from a blow

190826

190826
What a shit stain

Jizztrumpet is so insane
His sick and demented brain
Thinks that a bomb from a plane
Could destroy a hurricane

190821

190821
Go blow your trumpet

Hey imbecile – now here’s the thing
You’re Putin’s pawn – you’re not a king
With Israel you failed the quiz
You can’t be more than king of jizz

190628

190628
Fills me with the urge to…

The Jizztrumpet fills me with hate
I get so mad I defecate
I loathe his hair and orange skin
Those lips above his triple chin
His tiny hands and belly size
Compel me to avert my eyes
Though not the last – another gripe
As leaders go he’s not my type

190401

190401
Yes we are

There is no wall and
UK is still in EU
Must be April Fools

190204

190204
There’s always next year

Sportsball isn’t fun
The Patriots won
New England is glad
The rest of us sad
Old England won too
The green boys are blue
The cats got a loss
Jizztrumpet’s still boss
This world is all wrong
Let’s toke on this bong