Mistress of the fabulous!

Elvira’s in the dark no more
She’s found a woman to adore
It’s not too late for new love or
To open up that closet door


And whatever else comes out of mammals

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Brownie’s main love
Is smelling poo


The days between

Five days of reflection
With intense affection
For my one and only
While I’m feeling lonely
Sunday was the first date
Thursday is the worst date
Sunday I romance her
Thursday – fucking cancer
Even though it’s four years
This week still brings more tears
Will it dwindle? Never
Sweetie Pea forever!


Happy Pride 2021!!!!!!!!!

I love the gays, I love the bis
I love the queers of every size
I love all types of lesbians
Especially my gamer friends
I love the trans and aces too
I love the pans and they love you
I did not always think this way
I thought it weird if you were gay
I used to yell such horrid names
And then I learned my brother James
Was gay and so were all his friends
I’ve done my best to make amends
I love all love in all its forms
And if this is against your norms
Then I won’t wait to disavow
I’m proud to be an ally now


All you have to do is call

Listen please to my explaining
There are times when I’m complaining
Far too often for your caring
Just remember that I’m sharing
This with you, and for you only
‘Cause right now I’m feeling lonely
And we’ve equally confided
‘Cause our friendship’s not one-sided
You’ve been good so I should mention
Thank you for your rapt attention
That’s enough of my own sorrow
Tell me all of yours tomorrow


He’s a goofball

I caught my tail, so I’m a good boy
I ate the mail, so I’m a good boy
I bark real big, so I’m a good boy
I eat like pig, so I’m a good boy
I chase the cat, so I’m a good boy
I’m getting fat, so I’m a good boy
I sleep all day, so I’m a good boy
I never stay, so I’m a good boy
I shed real bad, so I’m a good boy
I love my dad, so I’m a good boy


He’s purrrrfect

My Linc is a goof
He’s rarely aloof
That cat is a freak
A flying black streak
As smart as a chimp
That lovable imp


When the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on

Every tragedy
Begins as a love story
That ends with heartache


Not all adventures need dice

A castle up the old north road
An eerie, sinister abode
A brave but sad elf was our host
He said his wife was now a ghost
We wondered why she took her life
What caused this human so much strife?
It seems our host would leave for years
She found a man to stem the tears
But when her husband reappeared
Her lover fled – the worst was feared
She had two loves, but neither one
Was there to love, so she had none
She tried to leave but when she died
Her spirit was forever tied
The host asked us to do our best
To put the lady’s soul to rest
So we asked him to tell his tale
He did and cried a mournful wail
His spectral wife then felt his love
No longer chained, she flew above
No weapon drawn, no spell was cast
But we had done what we were asked


What if?

Ever ponder fate though?
What if I didn’t go?
What if she didn’t show?
What if I had no dough?
What if she had a beau?
I guess we’ll never know


Happy birthday to my Sweetie Pea

My heart is locked, you have the key
That’s why you are my Sweetie Pea
We love to laugh, we’re filled with glee
This ring makes you my Sweetie Pea
The bestest smile, you’d ever see
So glad you are my Sweetie Pea
Though you are gone and not with me
You’ll always be my Sweetie Pea


Bhí Jean foirfe

I will help you cook the meal
When you’re perfect – no big deal
I will help you dye your hair
You’re so perfect – I don’t care
I will help you with your pain
‘Cause you’re perfect – right as rain
I will help you to get high
Since you’re perfect – won’t ask why
I will help you Sweetie Pea
You are perfect – perfectly


Órfhlaith is Orla

Órfhlaith from Tralee
Has stolen mo chroí (my heart)
If we meet at dawn
She’ll be my leannán (lover)
I would rather be
Just having some spraoi (fun)
But with my heart gone
My hair has turned bán (white)


V for the D

Some cringe when they see VD Day
Cause VD’s a pain in the A
To them VD’s an STD
That feels like burning when they pee
And if you still abbreviate
Some Facebook friends will postulate
That you just want the world to see
You have a V for your wee D


You say, “Stop” but I say, “Go, go, go”

At midnight the bells will be ringing
Of course Auld Lang Syne we’ll be singing
I hope that the new year is bringing
Relief to soothe all of the stinging
That 2019 generated
Goodbye to the things that we hated
Hello to the love we’ve awaited
Here’s wishing we’ll all be elated


A cake made out of babies

Playful nicknames is a duty
How ’bout babycakes or cutie?
Is he charming? Is he funny?
Maybe call him honey bunny
Does she shine with every fiber?
Sweetie pea might best describe her
If their presence makes you sizzle
They might be your swizzle pizzle
If you’ve found the perfect crony
Be sincere and don’t be phony
It’s alright if it is corny
Or a name that make them horny
If they are your dearest dandle
Find for them a heartfelt handle
If it’s thoughtful and not solemn
It won’t matter what you call ’em


Miss Jean

Every day there’s pain and sorrow
It will still be there tomorrow
Though I know her love and laughter
Will be there forever after


I love them both

Brownie loves food and naps and walks
And he loves sticks and balls and rocks
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves shoes and coats and hats
And he loves birds and dogs and cats
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves him and them and her
And he loves smiles and tails and fur
Linc loves Linc
Brownie loves strong and sweet and stink
And he loves you and me and Linc
Linc Loves Linc


Ode to a glove

In my old coat I find a glove
A gift from Jean given with love
It warms my hand, it warms my heart
I think about our time apart
With this snug glove I walk alone
Though it’s been tough, I know I’ve grown
This glove is like a lucky charm
When tightly worn, it wards off harm
I think about the times we spent
My glove on hers and what that meant
The feels I get wearing this glove
From Sweetie Pea with so much love


730 Jean free days 💔

Two years ago I lost my wife
While others choose this day to weep
The end does not define her life
Her memory each day I keep


I was swallowing my pain

Will anybody else ever get me?
Or will I be eternally lonely?
‘Cause Sweetie Pea was my one and only
It’s possible I’m too complicated
And loving me might be overrated
But I don’t ever want to be hated
I hope that I can cause an attraction
That generates a joyous reaction
And brings us mutual satisfaction
Until then if I’ve caused pain or sorrow
In Kilkenny or Kilimanjaro
I promise to be better tomorrow


They were the best days

I keep picking at the scab
Memories I want to stab
Need to clear up this malaise
And remember better days


I ❤️ 2 💩

A log entry from me to you
I quite enjoy a number two
One’s not enough, and three won’t do
When squatting down up in the loo
A smelly fart might be a clue
Dropping a deuce is overdue
So I flush twice when I am through
Then wash my hands and bid adieu



When first we met on a crazy blind date
I did not know how lucky I would be
Our meeting was a lovely twist of fate
The perfect friend, you made me so happy
I love you as I never loved before
Since first we met for just a cup of tea
Each night I think about the vows we swore
I love you as I loved you
‘Cause you’re my sweet
‘Cause you’re my Sweetie Pea


Sex, cats and robots

Love, Death and Robots
Part Black Mirror meets Hentai
Part Heavy Metal


Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Lee!

To every sir and madam
That know Lisa and Adam
The long waiting is all done
Today these two become one
Their love will be wholehearted
Let’s get this party started


Until the end of time

How many times can your heart break?
How many times can your heart ache?
So many times you’ll mourn and grieve
So many times you won’t believe
How many times did your heart build?
How many times was your heart filled?
That many times you’ll wonder why
That many times and more you’ll cry


I’ll boldly go!

A red-head on Star Trek named Tilly
Is brainy and friendly and silly
At first a cadet
Then Klingon War vet
She gives we warp nine in my willy


I’m mine 4 ever

The day of love is here again
I love myself like I’m a ten
I gave myself my own “Be Mine”
‘Cause I’m my special Valentine


181212 Ninth anniversary

When sweetie pea was by my side
We’d often laugh until we cried
It was with overwhelming pride
That she said yes to be my bride


Forever and ever

When you lose someone to cancer
Paying tribute is the answer
Memories you cannot sever
Because they loved you forever