220608

220608
Ms. Marvel

The superhero show is on
It’s all about Kamala Khan
The haters say they could care less
But real fans think it’s marvelous

220509

220509
Fist of Khonshu

I think I may, I think I might
Tell you about Marvel’s Moon Knight
A hero since the seventies
With multiple identities
Marc Spector is a hired merc
He’s not that nice, kind of a jerk
And Steven Grant’s another side
That’s who came out when Marc would hide
They died, and this might sound bizarre
Returned as Khonshu’s avatar
They vanquish villains by moonlight
The crime fighter known as Moon Knight!

220328

220328
Violence is never the answer

I do feel bad for Jada’s hair
But she’s a multi-millionaire
She got compared to GI Jane
A fighter who could withstand pain
That Will Smith slap was just not right
He brought a gun to a word fight
I hope that when we disagree
That you won’t throw a punch at me

220221

220221
So much in common

He likes to talk
She likes to walk
He likes to dine
She likes red wine
He likes TV
She likes the sea
He likes to screw
She likes it too

220124

220124
Hit it Max

That Garsa Fwip
Sharp as a whip
She used to strip
When it was hip
You best not flip
Or lose your grip
‘Cause in a blip
She’ll make you trip
With just one quip
You’ll be a drip
So bite your lip
‘Cause you got zip

220121

220121
K-I-S-S-I-G-88

Boba Fett and Fennec Shand
Riding on a bantha’s back
Chasing Niktos on the sand
End them with a swift attack
Fennec Shand and Boba Fett
Piloting a Firespray
Settling another debt
Hunting Pykes – this is the way

211222

211222
I can do this all day

So that was Hawkeye
Another show done
The season is over
When is the next one?
And so that was Hawkeye
I really had fun
The old nearly deaf one
Kate Bishop’s quite young
A very happy Marvel
An excelsior year
Can’t wait for the next one
It’s Moon Knight, I hear
It started with Wanda (-Hawkeye’s over-)
Then Bucky and Sam (-You should watch it-)
Now there’s more than one Loki (-Hawkeye’s over-)
Thor just said, “Goddamn!” (-Now-)
Black Widow and Shang-Chi (-Hawkeye’s over-)
What If…? had some fright (-You should watch it-)
Doc Ock and Green Goblin (-Hawkeye’s over-)
Three Spiders to fight (-Now-)
A very happy Marvel
An excelsior year
Except for Eternals
It’s bad, so I hear

211210

211210
Now I’m a bereaver

There were four Monkees
Micky Dolenz is the last
Rest in Peace Michael

211126

211126
Kate is in Clint’s class

There once was a Hawkeye named Barton
Who found a sidekick he could smarten
When Clint first met Thor
Cap, Tony and more
Kate Bishop was in kindergarten

211124

211124
A yank’s thanks

I’m often asked, since I’m away
How do I spend Thanksgiving Day?
I do not have a big turkey
No stuffing, yams nor cranberry
I do not have my family here
No football games to watch and cheer
I kind of think, most displaced yanks
Just look around and give their thanks
That’s not to say I do not miss
A feast worthy of a chef’s kiss
Or seeing mom or Tom or dad
Of course those things do make me sad
But this is where my feet did roam
I’m in my new forever home
Although it’s far from you to me
I’m just right where I want to be

211112

211112
Big Mouth is big fun

There once was a monster named Maury
A big, hairy dick allegory
Created by Kroll
He’s kind of a troll
Who helps young teens with nutting glory

211105

211105
Alice Nelson and the Brady Grail

There once was a housemaid named Alice
Who liked to clean Mike Brady’s phallus
She’d rub and tug it
Then lickety split
She’d drain it like the holy chalice

211015

211015
He has so much updog

There once was a vampire named Colin
His energy draining was ballin’
His weapon of choice
A monotone voice
Got everyone’s head to start lollin’

210922

210922
Mistress of the fabulous!

Elvira’s in the dark no more
She’s found a woman to adore
It’s not too late for new love or
To open up that closet door

210908

210908
Merry birthday

‘Twas the night before birthday, and inside my place
Linc and Brownie are sitting in front of my face
I’m trying to watch Parks and Rec season two
But these selfish monsters are blocking my view
They don’t have a cake and not even one toy
But they want to be near a good little boy
Now Brownie, now Lincoln, if you’ll both sit still
We’ll give brand new meaning to Netflix and chill

210811

210811
Why not…?

What if Marvel made a series
Based on fans’ obsessive queries?
They could tell the same old fables
But some change would turn the tables
The Hulk is tame and not a brute
A talking raccoon says, “I’m Groot!”
And Iron Man’s not built by Stark
Instead he makes a copper shark!
Nick Fury’s still a super spy
His patch is on his other eye!
And baldy Watcher shows the diff
You know they’d call that show What If…?

210723

210723
Weather or not

Another scorcher
Not a thunderstorm in sight
Fuck you Met Éireann

210625

210625
He crushed his enemies

There once was a quipster named Conan
Who certainly lacked melatonin
But night after night
With all of his might
He helped to produce serotonin

210618

210618
A yankee is a quickie when you’re alone

This dork who would cheer for the Yankees
Would fill all his pockets with hankies
When there was no doubt
He’d whip a cloth out
And celebrate with a few wankees

210611

210611
You put your right one in…

I’m watching a show about Loki
Some think he’s as tasty as gnocchi
They would take it out
And shake it about
In order to do Loki pokey

210416

210416
As sidekick to Cap he was plucky

There once was a soldier named Bucky
Who fell from a train but was lucky
He lost his left arm
But no other harm
His new metal arm isn’t sucky

210414

210414
Blood, privilege and cold

A new Cap in red, white and blue
Without serum, he’s just like you
He’s beaten up by two black chicks
A red-head girl gets in some kicks
His pride is hurt and so’s his friend
His means will justify the end
But will he change with this one vial?
Will he be good or become vile?
His hatefulness is now revealed
He’ll end you with his fucking shield!

210310

210310
The Killin’ Irish!

I’m glad I’m not a bride
And living in Kilbride
I’d never drive my car
So near to Kilmacar
Way down in Kilmacow
I’d hate to be a cow
And in Killinaspick
I’d hate to be a cow

210212

210212
Cara dún do bhéal

There once was a fighter named Gina
A warrior born like Athena
But her hateful gob
Cost her a cool job
I hope she’s replaced by fair Xena

201223

201223
Seinfeld >>> Friends

It’s Christmas Eve Eve
Also known as Festivus
Thanks 90’s TV

200916

200916
Bet they smell it in New Delhi

Watching Netflix on the telly
Linc is kneading on my belly
Brownie’s farts are awful smelly
Does my lifestyle make you jelly?

200708

200708
Brownie Bear at my side

It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Look back on the Christmas lights (which Linc broke)
The tears that I cried
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Oh! This is the doggie that Jean and I chose
Oh! This little doggie has such a cute nose
Oh! He runs at full speed along the chain fence
Oh! Brownie’s motherfucking head is immense
Oh! When out on a walk – don’t care where he goes
Oh! His head is so big, I think it still grows
Oh! The rest of the doggies don’t wear their leads
He runs through weeds, eating the seeds
That’s what Brownie Bear needs
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
Afterwards he takes a quick doze
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
When it’s time for dinner he knows
He wants a nice treat
He wants his rawhide
Still, it’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side

200515

200515
That sore on his lip was a canker

This fella from Cork was a banker
He got a tattoo of an anchor
He thought it was cool
But that fucking fool
His mom told him – “You’re still a wanker!”

200424

200424
That flick with his tail – quite a tricky

There once was a rodent named Mickey
Who asked Minnie Mouse for a quickie
She laughed in his face
That being the case
He banged Betty Boop with his dickey

200228

200228
The media peddle fear

If their temperature is high
Write them off as they’ll soon die
If they have a runny nose
Leave before they decompose
If they blast out splashing poo
There’s a duty you should do
If you hear somebody cough
You should drown them in a trough
If you see somebody sneeze
Kill and bury quickly please
If you think they sniffled snot
You should end them with one shot
If this sounds a tad severe
Media has stoked this fear

191223

191223
That must have been some doll

I really hope this Festivus
Brings good cheer for the rest of us
I’ll win the feats of strength no doubt
And grievances may get aired out
But there’s no hate around my pole
While Black Pete brings you lumps of coal
There had to be another way
And Festivus became that day
Remember in just two days time
The Christmas bells will start to chime
For peace on earth, goodwill to all
Who bought their son a lovely doll