160229

160229
My happiness I can’t contain

We woke from sleeping on a train
A hopeless feat while on a plane
We often speed in the fast lane
But that lifestyle’s hard to maintain
It might seem slow and quite mundane
But we get treated like Bruce Wayne
We watch the world sipping champagne
I know next time we’ll take the train

160226

160226
RIP Uncle Bill

We all have an Uncle Bill
Sometimes called William or Will
Funny dude who likes to chill
Man I wish he was here still

160224

160224
Maybe I’ll go back to prayer

First you take a billionaire
Make sure he has awful hair
And devoid of savoir faire
Pander so he gets on air
Spews out venom everywhere
Policies are hate and scare
Plays to dumb crowds with fanfare
Welcome to our Trump nightmare

160222

160222
Planning exit strategy

I just got back, unpacked my bag
Got me a case of the jet lag
I haven’t been home for one day
Already know I will not stay
I miss the craic, I miss the fun
I miss the food and everyone
I want to go to pubs at night
So I make plans for the next flight

160219

160219
The city animal is a pussy

There was a farmer from Kilkenny
The women he bedded were many
When there came a need
To scatter his seed
He realized he didn’t have any

160217

160217
All aboard!

We passed through Limerick on vacation
And saw a man at the train station
His pants on the ground
A crowd gathered ’round
And witnessed his wild masturbation

160215

160215
I’d cross the Shannon for Shannon

There once was a lass from ol’ Limerick
She was ginger so sure she’s a mick
I had in my head
To take her to bed
But I knew that I would finish quick

160212

160212
Westport we’re in you

In Westport on this winter day
We walked the Wild Atlantic Way
The bitter cold chilled to the bone
This frigid climate is well known
Despite the weather we did roam
Because some day this might be home

160210

160210
The weather is exactly as planned

We will fly up in the air
We will go from here to there
We will go from nice and warm
To a place that loves to storm
Here it’s 80 Fahrenheit
Then a Trans-Atlantic flight
What is waiting there for us?
Rain and zero Celsius

160208

160208
Congrats donkeys

The Broncos won the Super Bowl
And Denver loses all control
The main stream press did not highlight
Most of the rioters were white
Imagine if they had been black
The press would have a heart attack
It’s funny that with all those drugs
White donkey fans still act like thugs

160205

160205
I like cats

Horses and cats play on Sunday
The cats will purr; horses will neigh
Unless you’re huge into pigskin
You likely won’t care who will win
So here’s a way to have some fun
Until the final play is done
Make sure to keep your glasses filled
With alcohol that’s fairly chilled
Then have a sip at every snap
You will soon take a well earned nap
You’ll join the drunken hall of fame
And won’t care who has won the game

160203

160203
Spoiler alert dinner is spoiled

The ulcer burst, blood everywhere
It’s in the soup, it’s in their hair
It’s in the wine, it’s on the pie
I think he got some in her eye
It’s on the plate, it’s on the floor
He splattered it upon the door
He spit blood almost to Glasgow
It’s like we’d watched a horror show

160201

160201
Come back soon!

My parents came for a short while
We toured the Central Coast in style
The afternoon was clear and warm
The calm before the coming storm
We walked the beach and saw monarchs
And rambled past local landmarks
I’d like to thank my mom and dad
A better time we’ve never had!