The asterisk PM

There once was a PM named Lizzie
Whose policies made people dizzy
She fucked up the pound
And got people down
Then quit in a bit of a tizzy


Them’s the breaks

A failed PM tories call Boris
Is featured in Roget’s Thesaurus
Five entries has he
Dick, asshole, cock, twat, and clitoris


He isn’t anymore

I’m the fucking President
Take me to the Capitol now
I’m the fucking President
I know I won the vote somehow
I’m the fucking President
They may have guns but won’t shoot me
I’m the fucking President
I stacked the courts so I’ll stay free!


It ain’t easy being green

They raised the price to light a light
And that increase was total shite
This tax came in because the greens
Said we should not use some machines
But their machines are fairly dear
And you can hardly get them here
To make things worse, inflation hit
And we still knew their plan was shit
They’re giving us 200 quid
So we’ll forget just what they did
I’ll take that dough and make a bet
That Irish voters won’t forget


Loathsome lunatic from Leningrad

The thing I hate most about Putin
He went into Ukraine a-shootin’
I’m gonna be blunt
The fucker’s a cunt
He struts around all highfalutin


Christmas with the cats

It’s time for joy and festive cheer
But things are different this year
I could not get back to the states
So now I’ll spend it with me mates
They’re wearing black and amber hats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
It’s not the same and that’s ok
I’ll celebrate a brand new way
Just like LA it won’t be white
But over here, the weather’s shite
My parents send me online chats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I want to party till it’s late
But this year pubs will close at eight
No ugly sweaters on display
No pub crawls on St. Stephen’s Day
I blame the feckin’ bureaucrats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I have to bring a biscuit tin
Or else my friends won’t let me in
The wine is mulled, the pudding’s plum
The pies have mince, yeah that sounds dumb
The yummy sweets – the tasty fats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats


Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th

Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent


Did you notice?

If there is no poetry
Will they even notice?
If there are no posts from me
Will they even notice?
If no games or LEGO bricks
Will they even notice?
If no left wing politics
Will they even notice?
If no Linc or Brownie Bear
Will they even notice?
If no pix of COVID hair
Will they even notice?
If I shave off my goatee
Will they even notice?
Will I write this poetry
Just so you will notice?


Sinko de Trumpo

From Facebook, Twitch and Twitter
Jizztrumpet is still banned
His absence makes me titter
Good people think it’s grand
On many social websites
His antics aren’t allowed
He now continues his fights
By yelling at a cloud


Leave your jewels in the bank and buy a revolver

Fair play to Constance Markievicz
A Polish “noble” she did hitch
A countess and a suffragette
A revolutionary threat
First woman in the parliament
She railed against establishment
A foe to Churchill and Lloyd George
A new nation she helped to forge
Keen with a rifle and her wits
In Stephen’s Green she shot the Brits
A friend to Yeats and to the poor
She showed the British to the door


Taoiseach Me-hole!

A Martin named Micheál is Taoiseach
This leak about him gives a wee shock
He has beady eyes
Because ‘tween his thighs
He has trouble finding his wee cock


Ted fled

To Cancún Ted chose to go Cruzin’
Which Texans did not find amusin’
While his poodle froze
He packed up his clothes
And showed how a loser does losin’


Frustration turns to jubilation

This is no exaggeration
Four years is a long duration
To endure annihilation
Of this once majestic nation
Now eager anticipation
For Biden’s inauguration
And the giddy expectation
Jizztrumpet’s incarceration


Un bucking felievable

Jizztrumpet is an ass
The proud boys he did ask
Stand by – stand back – en masse
Then Capitol trespass
And Congress to harass
Not one of them has class
DC police now has
To shoot them with tear gas


He hates everything trans

Jizztrumpet has made it his mission
To fuck up Joe Biden’s transition
The fat orange turd
Is crude and absurd
His petulance reeks of sedition


Four seasons total landscaping

Joe Biden might be sleepy
But Jizztrumpet is weepy
He’s also super creepy
And just might savor peepee
He’s really good at lying
While so many are dying
Now in his bunker crying
We’ll need Joe’s unifying


Rock’n Me

It’s still a tense nail biter
But things are looking brighter
My expectations widen
Of victory for Biden
This electoral thriller
In honor of Steve Miller


The shithole states

Democracy may not be dead
But most of US still is red
Don’t ask me why it’s not more blue
This whole election stinks of poo


Do the right thing

Voters please don’t let us down
Run that jackass out of town
I’m fed up with dirty tricks
That’s why I want forty-six


They aren’t on the level

They say level three
But they canceled house visits
So we’re really five


Help me mommy!

There once was a human shaped shit pile
Fly landed and then made the shit smile
The shit was Mike Pence
So smug and intense
Fly sorted him into his shit file


Please baby please baby please baby baby baby please

Every night, can’t stop doomscrolling
Covid-19, right-wing trolling
Sanity is slowly slidin’
Need a win from ol’ Joe Biden


Hope they try bleach

The virus that’s bad for angina
Has spread far from Wuhan in China
From a flying mouse
Into the White House
Transported in Hope Hicks’ vagina


He won’t denounce white supremacy!

The Jizztrumpet lets people die
And won’t denounce the racist right
Instead he says, “stand back, stand by”
He proudly made the Proud Boys’ night


Thick, arrogant prick

Hogan’s sorry he got caught
Is he sorry? Not a lot!
He still claims he did no wrong
That is why we say “SO LONG!”


Color me bad

Do bronze prawns wear long johns?
A black yak might blow his stack
A blue gnu would be cuckoo
A pink mink would make you think
A teal seal would be unreal
A peach leech – you must impeach


How many weeks was he minister? Fore!

An eejit named Dara Calleary
Went golfing in Galway – my deary
Our very strict rules
Are flaunted by fools
This government’s making us weary


Voting in 9 x 9 days!

The Senator Kamala Harris
With Biden – they will not embarrass
The US of A
Which as of today
Is laughed at in Seoul, Rome, and Paris


Crazy about Kamala

Deck the polls I’m voting Biden
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Goodbye Pence, and also bye Don
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Harris will be a great VP
Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la
Now for sure a blue wave we’ll see
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la


He has a pointless point of view

There’s no place in the world for this angry old man
With his thousands of lies and his dumb TikTok ban
He abuses his post, this abuse his downfall
His legacy’s broke like that Mexico wall
And he’s proud as a peacock ’cause he’s a mob boss
And he struggles with facts his soul is a loss
And we’d liked to be rid of this angry old man


They don’t fucking care

They don’t care if you die
For they need their nails done
They don’t care if you die
So you can’t take their gun
They don’t care if you die
They won’t reuse a bag
They don’t care if you die
But they’ll weep for a flag
They don’t care if you die
But they love them some cops
They don’t care if you die
But Jizztrumpet is tops
They don’t care if you die
So they won’t wear a mask
They don’t care if you die
They won’t do what you ask
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die

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