Happy treason day

In the US, all good things are gone
I loved it all my life
But I moved to start again
To get away from hate and strife
I thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
‘Cause this flag still stands for freedom
And they can’t take that away
And I’m proud to be an Irishman
Where at least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the Jizztrumpet
He fucked my old country
And I’d gladly stand up at the bar
And get asked, “Are you okay?”
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt
That christians have
Ruined the USA


Loathsome lunatic from Leningrad

The thing I hate most about Putin
He went into Ukraine a-shootin’
I’m gonna be blunt
The fucker’s a cunt
He struts around all highfalutin


Ikaris sucks

The worst character
In Marvel’s Eternals is
A bloody Scotsman


So many options

As a yank
Should I wank
Till there’s nothing in the tank?
As a mick
Should I flick
Rapidly upon my dick?
As a chap
Should I slap
My salami and then nap?



England suffers from football fate
They forgot to close the Southgate
Rashford, Sancho and young Saka
At penalties, they were caca
But here across the Irish Sea
No tears were shed for those missed three
We celebrate – #ItsGoingRome
Meanwhile our team never left home


Transgender Day of Visibility

Light blue, pink and white
I see my transgender friends
You are visible


Crappy Paddy’s Day – the sequel

All Irish lassies and their laddies
Will be missing another Paddy’s
They’ll have to have craic another way
Éirinn go Brách ’till next Paddy’s Day


In other good news…

The sun is shining
Vaccinations have started
Rush Limbaugh is dead


Voting in 9 x 9 days!

The Senator Kamala Harris
With Biden – they will not embarrass
The US of A
Which as of today
Is laughed at in Seoul, Rome, and Paris


They don’t fucking care

They don’t care if you die
For they need their nails done
They don’t care if you die
So you can’t take their gun
They don’t care if you die
They won’t reuse a bag
They don’t care if you die
But they’ll weep for a flag
They don’t care if you die
But they love them some cops
They don’t care if you die
But Jizztrumpet is tops
They don’t care if you die
So they won’t wear a mask
They don’t care if you die
They won’t do what you ask
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die
They don’t care if you die


The long goodbye

No longer Europe’s friend
You thought it best to end
So long
We wanted you to stay
But you fled anyway
You will not see us grieve
When all you tories leave
Auf Wiedersehen
Don’t let the door hit ya
Where the good Lord split ya


Last time he ran was for President

Into the school he would have run
He said he wouldn’t need a gun
Both cops and students he’s maligned
Jizztrumpet’s lost his fucking mind


Happy fucking Fourth of July

On this sad 4th of July
The Jizztrumpet makes me cry
He shows allies no respect
World wide image is now wrecked
Presidential he is not
Melting down our melting pot
Every tweet’s a dis or brag
It’s like shitting on the flag
Though we beg, urge and beseech
GOP will not impeach
While you eat your barbecue
The POTUS is fucking you


#Predisent #Covfefe

This White House isn’t eloquent
With #Covfefe and #Predisent
Established rules they circumvent
To crush this Great Experiment



Jizztrumpet says Germans are bad
One of the worst was his own dad
This has to make most teutons mad
But does make him Putin’s comrade


I’m not crying! You’re crying!

We say goodbye to 44
We’d like to have at least four more
The good he did, he’d do again
As leaders go, he is a ten
But now it’s time for him to go
And when he’s gone, we’ll miss him so
We say this with the best intent
You’ll always be our president


Can’t stand now can they?

If you’re born with skin that’s black
There’s a target on your back
Even with hands in the air
Law enforcement doesn’t care
To them, you’re a big bad dude
Fuck that racist attitude
When that song plays, “Don’t you sit!”
That’s when white folks give a shit
More concerned that you don’t stand
While the blood drips from their hand


What Kaepernick haters sound like to me

The flag should be respected
Not your silly race complaints
Your people are neglected
By society’s constraints
But we cannot acknowledge
The playing field’s not level
You must have learned in college
While people are the devil
We liked you as a winner
When the game was on the line
But now you are a sinner
And we pray for your decline


‪#‎FuckDaesh‬ twice, sideways with a broom

Istanbul has been bombed again
Too many victims – it’s insane
Travelers waiting for a plane
Terrorists are a huge shit stain


‪#‎Brexit‬? how ’bout ‪#‎FuxItUp‬!

EU is a bloody mess
Like a Donald Trump U.S.
Merry England wants to leave
Chaos is all they achieve
Scotland voted to remain
And Gibraltar next to Spain
Ulster said it wants to stay
Now they may unite some day
UK’s money loses ground
Peso’s worth more than the pound
Misinformed and racist Brits
Put their county in the shits
Now the home of Mr. Bean
Can’t be saved by king or queen



My hate for Trump is plain and pure
I felt the Bern, now I’m with her
Clinton’s platform I do prefer
I love women, so I’m with her
Trump is the worst, a wretched cur
Go build your wall, ’cause I’m with her
Of the two left, I do concur
She is the best, and I’m with her


His hands do look small

Let’s analyze last night’s debate
By candidates I love to hate
They gave us more hyperbole
A booger eaten on TV
The next thing really made me sick
We got to hear about Trump’s dick
I don’t know why he’s in first place
I want to move to outer space


We’ll miss you grams

The call I dreaded came today
My grandmother has passed away
The ripe old age of 91
A long lived life, but now it’s done


Our gun problem leaves me aghast

More and more flags are at half mast
To honor victims that have passed
I hope that when it is my day
The flag is up, and not half way


Do your job or quit!

Put down the pipe made out of cob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You need to let Jim marry Bob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Don’t pander to the right wing mob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You’re thrice divorced you marriage snob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Go be a clerk and shut your gob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You no good homophobic slob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!


The dunce of confederates

There once was a Jindal named Bobby
Who wanted the President’s jobby
He opened his mouth
‘Bout loving the south
And rebel flag waving’s his hobby


Flags don’t burn crosses

It has to be degenerates
That raise flags for confederates
“The flag ain’t racist by itself”
Said the bigot with hood on shelf
The Ku Klux Klan will try to hide
Their hatred behind rebel pride
Only rebel flag that mattered
Was the white flag, torn and tattered


Hot holiday haiku

Groundhog Day Part II
Memorial Day Weekend
No more weeks of Spring


Thanks for serving

This day honors those who serve
It’s a privilege they deserve
To protect the USA
We all get a holiday
So we drove around to see
The greatness of our country
We saw nature – oh the feels
Zebras and elephants seals
Hawks and Canadian Geese
A beautiful world at peace
I feel like I’m in heaven
This day goes to eleven


Brave but not free

Scotland might be brave
But it isn’t free
They’ll go to the grave
With a dream to be

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