Got a ticket to my destination

My visit was fun
But now it is done
I had a great time
But not a long time
I’ll be back again
But I don’t know when


No sawing or dropping logs

I cannot sleep while on a plane
The lack of napping is a pain
Another thing I cannot do
No matter what I cannot poo
So when I land, and have the chance
I get to do my doo doo dance
Then throw my clothes into a heap
Climb into bed and fall asleep


I’m going back to Cali

I’m going back, but I’m not going home
I’m gonna see mom, dad, Tom and Jerome
I’m gonna go back to where I’m the Pope
I’m gonna eat tacos and smoke some dope
I’m not going home, but I’m going back
I’m gonna see friends like a maniac
I’m gonna play games and walk in the sun
And then I’ll go home when all of that’s done


Second jab is Saturday

Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer


What a shit stain

Jizztrumpet is so insane
His sick and demented brain
Thinks that a bomb from a plane
Could destroy a hurricane


Two weeks was not enough

Goodbye mom and dad
They’re leaving on a jet plane
That was two great weeks


HB Mr. B

Today could be chucked in a bin
A grounded plane with damaged skin
Another plane but had to wait
I missed the bus ’cause we were late
Then had to stand out in the cold
All the delays had gotten old
And traffic as we got to Naas
We crawled along at a snail’s pace
Then at long last, I made it home
And quickly bought Glory to Rome
‘Cause Tony said to this weekend
And I obey my foul-mouthed friend


They enjoyed Kilkenny

Vacation for my mom and dad
A splendid trip I hope they had
We ate and drank and had the craic
They went to Mayo and came back
We toured Kilkenny without rain
But now they’re leaving on a plane
Until I see them in twelve weeks
Ignore the tear stains on my cheeks


Come fly her friendly skies

There once was a lass at the airport
The pages were full in her passport
She earned every stamp
The mile high club tramp
An entrepreneurial escort


What’s worse than a curse?

There is an airport out in Knock
Where there ain’t much but stone and rock
The Holy Mary was seen there
With Joseph floating in the air
So Pope Frank went to see the church
Where Joe and Mary once did perch
The airport staff waited in line
To give Francis a shirt to sign
A jinx he was asked to reverse
In hopes of ending Mayo’s curse
Instead of such a petty task
A thousand things they could have asked
About abuse by priests and nuns
The church has failed the little ones
Little remorse, barely regret
Before he left them in his jet


Slán mo chairde

Today I leave the USA
For Ireland where skies are grey
And while I leave loved ones behind
I had to leave or lose my mind
I miss my Sweetie Pea so much
I miss her smile, her laugh, her touch
So, I must go and start anew
I’m bringing Linc and Brownie too
We’ll settle there and start a life
Without my fucking awesome wife
I hope this works, my fingers crossed
This mental move comes at a cost
Emotional – financial too
And yet I must still bid adieu
The Emerald Isle is not that far
I guess I should say au revoir


Having pets is not cheap

I drove real far so we can fly
I had to see my money guy
No matter how much dough is lost
Brownie and Linc are worth the cost


I’m back on the 15th

I did not sleep, woke at first light
Forgot my passport for the flight
I have more stress than one man should
I can’t wait till I’m here for good!


They’re at Hotel MomNDad

My two pets got left behind
Brownie didn’t seem to mind
As he shredded up the drape
Linc made plans for his escape
Leaving them doth make me swoon
I’ll be back to get them soon


Anything but plain

There once was a lass on an airplane
Who spilled so her jeans had a wine stain
Her goldfish she shared
Attention was snared
Creating the legend of plane Jane


I’m leaving on a jet plane

Flying in an aeroplane
Can lead to tremendous pain
Way up in the friendly skies
Your ears start to pressurize
When the plane starts to descend
Chewing gum is your best friend
If your eardrums fail to pop
Try to suck on a cough drop
If that doesn’t do the trick
Blow your nose as if you’re sick
Thus endeth my travel tip
Write these down for your next trip


Alamo Creek Fire

All the hills are brown and dry
Temperatures are way too high
All it takes is one small spark
Burning branches, leaves, and bark
Mother Nature starts to cry
Smoke and ashes fill the sky
Most within have quickly fled
Those that didn’t are soon dead


As always #FuckCancer

This is not a drill
We’re on our way to Phoenix
Our quest for the cure


‪#‎FuckDaesh‬ twice, sideways with a broom

Istanbul has been bombed again
Too many victims – it’s insane
Travelers waiting for a plane
Terrorists are a huge shit stain


My happiness I can’t contain

We woke from sleeping on a train
A hopeless feat while on a plane
We often speed in the fast lane
But that lifestyle’s hard to maintain
It might seem slow and quite mundane
But we get treated like Bruce Wayne
We watch the world sipping champagne
I know next time we’ll take the train


The weather is exactly as planned

We will fly up in the air
We will go from here to there
We will go from nice and warm
To a place that loves to storm
Here it’s 80 Fahrenheit
Then a Trans-Atlantic flight
What is waiting there for us?
Rain and zero Celsius


Nobody’s business but the Turks

Flies too close, and gets shot down
Happy Turkey Day


Try not to hate no worries mate

Worst part of the trip is the travel
It makes my brain start to unravel
From lengthy delays on the tarmac
To encumbered bags that hurt your back
Can’t sleep on the plane though I’m shit faced
And then one of our bags is misplaced
The vacation starts when you get there
But sitting around makes me lose hair


I have a pain down under

14 hours on a plane
In my ass there is a pain
All that sitting on my bum
Butt cheeks feel insanely numb


Next stop Sydney!

I’ve lost my concentration
For working at the station
I have a new fixation
We’re going on vacation!


Black holes CNN?!?

My brain cannot contain
This unending refrain
About the missing plane
The media campaign
Is borderline profane
I want to have free rein
To administer pain
To the anchors most vain
Hitched to this gravy train
And those who are inane
Who have something to gain
From info they obtain
It’s downright inhumane
That they try to maintain
And keep open the vein
For those feeling the pain
While their hope starts to wane
It’s making me insane


Copied a copy-cat

Yesterday I posted a spoof
Of plagiarist Shia LaBeouf
Copying is not creative
And his work was replicative
This asshole has no discretion
He even stole his confession
He sky wrote and tweeted a pic
Thus making him Shia LaDick
So don’t worry, you can relax
There have been no recent attacks
My poems are not abating
I will never #stopcreating


Remember all of it

We will never forget
Watching the TV set
We will never forget
Jumping without a net
We will never forget
Towers falling, cheeks wet
We will never forget
Brave heroes on a jet
We will never forget
Everybody upset
We will never forget
Bush discounting a threat
We will never forget
Hawkish Congress in step
We will never forget
Bombing with no regret
We will never forget
The fear of a cadet
We will never forget
Another soldier’s sweat
We will never forget
A mounting war-time debt
We will never forget


We were trippin’

Journey’s End
By J. R. R. Tolkien

In western lands beneath the Sun
The flowers may rise in Spring,
The trees may bud, the waters run,
The merry finches sing.
Or there maybe ’tis cloudless night,
And swaying branches bear
The Elven-stars as jewels white
Amid their branching hair.

Though here at journey’s end I lie
In darkness buried deep,
Beyond all towers strong and high,
Beyond all mountains steep,
Above all shadows rides the Sun
And Stars for ever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
Nor bid the Stars farewell.


And don’t call me Shirley

We’re leaving on a jet plane
Going to Europe again
Questions floating through my head
Why don’t airplanes have a bed?
Who likes to eat airplane grub?
Should we join the mile high club?
What is the inflight movie?
Either way, it’s all groovy


Vacation’s all I ever wanted

Work is done, I’m on vacation
Off to cousin’s celebration
An Irish Wedding in Galway
Then Czech Republic for short stay
We’ll take a train to Germany
Bavaria is where we’ll be
Back to Prague for a day or three
A long ass flight ends our journey

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