150930

150930
Pope Frank the 2 steps back

Now everyone’s favorite Pope
Met everyone’s favorite dope
To meet with a clerk so deranged
Just proves that the Church hasn’t changed

150928

150928
Try not to hate no worries mate

Worst part of the trip is the travel
It makes my brain start to unravel
From lengthy delays on the tarmac
To encumbered bags that hurt your back
Can’t sleep on the plane though I’m shit faced
And then one of our bags is misplaced
The vacation starts when you get there
But sitting around makes me lose hair

150925

150925
Good luck All Blacks!

Our two week trip is at an end
Into a cave we did descend
The glow worms shined as bright as stars
Like fireflies caught in blue jars
We’ve seen and done so many things
Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings
We ate food cooked over tea tree
But never saw a brown kiwi

150923

150923
Hobbiton was awesome

Jean and I went to the Shire
We heard angels in a choir
It’s all true, I am no liar
Green Dragon Inn had a fire
In Bag End we could retire
There’s no way we could be higher

150921

150921
Just as planned

Walking with Jean hand in hand
It’s nighttime in New Zealand
The wine and food sure is grand
We want to stay in Auckland

150918

150918
HB + SP

Went down under to get some ink
I found a place that didn’t stink
There was some pain, but I pushed through
To get a stick person tattoo

150916

150916
Always and forever

For all of the days
You are my always
I always want to
I always want you

150914

150914
I have a pain down under

14 hours on a plane
In my ass there is a pain
All that sitting on my bum
Butt cheeks feel insanely numb

150911

150911
Next stop Sydney!

I’ve lost my concentration
For working at the station
I have a new fixation
We’re going on vacation!

150909

150909
48 sure is great

For my birthday I have one wish
I don’t want steak or any fish
Take back your gifts and keep your checks
‘Cause all I want is birthday sex

150907

150907
Labor Day haiku

No labor today
Last barbecue of the year
Soon it will be fall

150904

150904
#2 favorite republican

There’s no more paper on the roll
But I still have to clean my hole
I can’t find any ‘neath the sink
The stench in here it’s hard to think
I see a rag we never use
The stain it leaves looks like Ted Cruz
Vanilla Glade I freely spray
I think I’ll sell it on eBay

150902

150902
Do your job or quit!

Put down the pipe made out of cob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You need to let Jim marry Bob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Don’t pander to the right wing mob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You’re thrice divorced you marriage snob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Go be a clerk and shut your gob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You no good homophobic slob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!