141031

141031
Have a groovy Halloween

Raven is a bumble bee
Her tail stings so viciously
Brownie is a dinosaur
His mouth is hard to ignore
Linc does not have a costume
Dressing him would spell our doom

141029

141029
They’re scary cute

Here’s a tale that’s kind of spooky
We see ghosts that look like Mookie
And the phantoms sing a chorus
That remind us of ol’ Morris
The specters are pretty funky
They’re not impressed, just like Monkee
Our old kitties haunt us somehow
We get goosebumps when they meow

141027

141027
Rest in pieces Bob

Cannibals eat
Your hands and feet
A sloppy Joe
And your big toe
They’d be in luck
to get ground Chuck
Frank in a bun
Sure would be fun
But crab Louie
Is too chewy
Their favorite food
Is roasted dude,
Corn on the cob,
And leg of Bob

141025

141025
Thanks Leisure Time Games

A Halloween gameday at the mall
So many games, I can’t play them all
Doomtown, Pathfinder
Munchkin Loot Letter
Waterdeep, and some I can’t recall

141023

141023
But not two nipples

Before we met, she had two
The same as most women do
Later on, she had just one
It was still a lot of fun
Now she has a pair again
With or without she’s a ten

141021

141021
I can’t help it

Doing something nice just confirms
You have opened a can of worms
It might be bent or a big joke
But do not fix what isn’t broke

141019

141019
Half elf half evil

There once was a magus named Seltyiel
Who combined magic with cold hard steel
While Lem would beguile
Bad guys for a while
He preferred to make the henchmen squeal

141017

141017
It’s full of sucks

Stinky’s is where people used to go
The burgers were pretty good, you know?
Got closed by Starbucks
And that really sucks
So they ain’t goin’ there any mo’

141015

141015
Save the sweater puppies

More precious than rubies
We must save the boobies
We looks ’cause we gottas
We must save the tatas
For Rosies and Ellens
We must save the melons
From goth to punk rockers
We must save the knockers
As seen on computers
We must save the hooters
From Yuma to Yonkers
We must save the honkers
They feel good on shoulders
We must save the boulders
Enjoyed in all cities
We must save the titties

141013

141013
K-K-K-Kenny and Annette

(To Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets”)
He’s handy, she’s cheerful,
Have you ever met?
Our friends’re so much fun,
Kenny and Annette
Oh but he’s kind, and she’s affable
Oh Kenny he’s really lean
Annette is quite astute, she’s really cute
You know their house looks like it’s Halloween
Kenny and Annette

141011

141011
Older for 11 more months

Tommy is my brother
We have the same mother
We have the same dad too
Our grandma is named Lou
Friday was his birthday
I hope it was okay
His age is 48
I think he’s pretty great

141009

141009
You’re feeling very sl…

I never realized
How much I criticized
I should be hypnotized
To act more civilized

141007

141007
Robot cowboy princes

Every day is game day
‘Cause gamers want to play
Shuffling cards, rolling dice
Pushing pawns, moving mice
From farming to sci fi
No theme in short supply
Zombie ninja wizards
Fighting pirate lizards
Horror to fantasy
It beats watching TV

141005

141005
Annabelle is creepy

She is not swell
Her dress egg shell
She makes me yell
Doll dark and fell
So Annabelle
Should go to hell

141003

141003
Malodorous vomit pancakes

It’s so fucking hot
And the Angels lost again
Eat a bag of shit!

141001

141001
Don’t strain yourself

I think there’s Ebola
On your Coca-Cola
Media lives off fear
Joe Six-Pack drinks a beer
Put down that Ricola
It might have Ebola
Media slavery
Does not want bravery
I’m sure there’s Ebola
On raisin granola
They want you to be scared
Nobody will be spared
Flint to Pensacola
We all have Ebola