The long and winding road

I thought it would last forever
But then came the worst day ever
That happened five years ago now
And I’ve made it this far somehow
Since life’s a trip and not a race
I took my stuff to a new place
And I brought Linc and Brownie too
As time has passed, I’m not so blue
I’m sometimes red and sometimes green
The colors change, know what I mean?
There are more ups and fewer downs
I’m mostly better than this sounds
But days like this can hurt the most
And good humor becomes morose
I still think that love was cheated
My forever’s not completed


What would you do for a Choco Taco?

Pour one out for Choco Taco
You can’t get one in Morocco
They’ve been canceled in Samoa
You can’t get one any more
They’re gone in Texas and New York
They can’t be found in County Cork
Choco Taco fans are grieving
For these treats they’re not receiving


Love and thunder

I took a chance with a blind date
And she did too, what freaky fate
We had our fun and loved a lot
But then she passed, I was distraught
I do not pray, but I have hope
That someone else will want this dope
Love’s lighting bolts – can they strike twice?
I think they will, I’ve been real nice


Good to the last drop

A pretty lass went to São Paulo
Her faithful boyfriend he did follow
He rubbed tired feet
And lowered the seat
‘Cause he found a girl that would swallow


Schrödinger’s Linc

Little Linc, Little Linc
He’s the best cat, don’t you think?
Little Linc, Little Linc
Fur is black and tongue is pink
Little Linc, Little Linc
Sleeping near the kitchen sink
Little Linc, Little Linc
Into my room, he does slink
Little Linc, Little Linc
He gives me an evil wink
Little Linc, Little Linc
He will claw me if I blink
Little Linc, Little Linc
He’s the reason that I drink
Little Linc, Little Linc
He might kill me, don’t you think?


Hot shit!

It’s the hottest day
Since 1887
33 no 1/3


At least he didn’t stab it

A nasty young man from Stab City
Would do things that weren’t very pretty
He once traveled east
And paid off a priest
To lick a Kilkenny nun’s kitty


M-O-O-N spells super

The moon is full, and so am I
The moon is round like apple pie
The moon tonight is extra bright
It guides us with it’s lunar light
It’s super ’cause it’s fairly near
The moon does this three times a year
The moon is shining in the sky
The moon is high, and so am I


Faceless tent people

I don’t like faceless people
Looking out at me
I don’t like faceless people
What do they think they see?
Who are the faceless people
Sleeping in those tents?
Who are those faceless people?!?
My fear is now intense!
I dream of faceless people
Sleeping next to me
I dream of faceless people
Who do they want to be?
Embrace the faceless people
They’re my cup of tea
I’ve joined the faceless people
They’re just like you and me


Them’s the breaks

A failed PM tories call Boris
Is featured in Roget’s Thesaurus
Five entries has he
Dick, asshole, cock, twat, and clitoris


It’s All-Ireland time

It’s time to plan our match watching bash
It’s time to see the clash of the ash
It’s time to hang the amber and black
It’s time for cats to get Liam back


Happy treason day

In the US, all good things are gone
I loved it all my life
But I moved to start again
To get away from hate and strife
I thank my lucky stars
To be living here today
‘Cause this flag still stands for freedom
And they can’t take that away
And I’m proud to be an Irishman
Where at least I know I’m free
And I won’t forget the Jizztrumpet
He fucked my old country
And I’d gladly stand up at the bar
And get asked, “Are you okay?”
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt
That christians have
Ruined the USA


His mitre was quite ostentatious

A bishop who folks called Ignatius
Would drink beer and get quite pugnacious
He’d punch a few nuns
Then shoot off some guns
His sermons were lewd and salacious

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