200629

200629
Friends of Frenamath

A trio took a demon down
And won the favor of a town
His Holiness – benevolent
He smites foes quite malevolent
Some say that Voron is a sneak
Just ’cause it seems his fingers speak
The fighter plucked the demon’s heart
So locals thought they’d do their part
The scene of such a noble act
Now Ravnar’s Tower – that’s a fact!
You’d best not try to block their path
The heroes three of Frenamath!

200626

200626
I’m attacking the darkness!

There once was a DM named Derek
Whose clichés were rarely generic
He got a new dude
And mage with a ‘tude
To play with a rogue and a cleric

200624

200624
Hiatus haiku

I have work to do
Linc lays down on my laptop
I guess it can wait

200622

200622
Then pints were quaffed – seven or eight

A dungeon crawl to liberate
Some loot from those with no heart rate
Sarcophagus a heavy weight
The lid came off – a twist of fate
Stone statue then did animate
With one goal – to exterminate
The bard – then target of hulk’s hate
Rolled through the legs to separate
A crossbow aimed – the bolt flew straight
It found its mark – the giant great
Exploded in a spray of slate
The spoils were split with every mate

200619

200619
You have my sympathies

There once was an actor named Ian
Who played parts from noble to peon
As Bilbo and Ash
He made a huge splash
Those roles will endure for an eon

200617

200617
Substantially scuttered

On 29 June
You can drink your pints and eat
€9 Tayto

200615

200615
Shocking grasp

One day the lady Seraphin
Sat down upon an old coffin
And right there where the lady sat
Appeared a giant feckin’ rat
Most ladies would scream, cry and gasp
Yer one struck with a shocking grasp
The tail did burn, the rat was charred
A fearsome sight so says this bard

200612

200612
JK = Jaded Karen

There once was a TERF known as Rowling
Her comments got her queer fans growling
Her books once brought cheer
But now it’s quite clear
They’re suitable to scoop dog fouling

200610

200610
Kinky COVID-19

Face to face is bad
When it comes to COVID sex
Glory holes are good

200608

200608
Killing kobolds

The kobolds thought that they’d do in
The bard and Lady Serafin
But they did not expect to see
This duo with ferocity
While Serafin got knocked about
The halfling took his crossbow out
The first bolt went into an eye
Now that’s a gruesome way to die
The next three bolts flew through the air
And found their marks with deadly flare
Poor Serafin was black and blue
A healing word made her anew
The lady yelled “now go to sleep!”
A hidden dagger was plunged deep
And now the legend can begin
The bard and Lady Serafin

200605

200605
Happy birthday to my Sweetie Pea

My heart is locked, you have the key
That’s why you are my Sweetie Pea
We love to laugh, we’re filled with glee
This ring makes you my Sweetie Pea
The bestest smile, you’d ever see
So glad you are my Sweetie Pea
Though you are gone and not with me
You’ll always be my Sweetie Pea

200603

200603
Bhí Jean foirfe

I will help you cook the meal
When you’re perfect – no big deal
I will help you dye your hair
You’re so perfect – I don’t care
I will help you with your pain
‘Cause you’re perfect – right as rain
I will help you to get high
Since you’re perfect – won’t ask why
I will help you Sweetie Pea
You are perfect – perfectly

200601

200601
WWJD? What would Jean do?

When cops kill blacks, I think of Jean
And how she’d say, “This is obscene!
That could be me, or my nephews
Who now is dead and on the news!”
What is the crime, or mortal sin
That’s based on color of your skin?
What justifies such an attack?
Their biggest crime? They were born black…