Who needs a hug?

Please consider this my open letter
Everyone of us has to do better
Regardless of race, age, sex, class, or creed
Understanding’s a societal need
It’s easier to be apathetic
But we need to be more sympathetic
Kindness is not a good we should ration
Every person deserves our compassion
If you were not born with the patient gene
You don’t have to be nice, but don’t be mean
Don’t take this as overly demanding
But we all need some more understanding


Allegory of magnanimity

A virtue sitting down
A lion at her feet
The putti brought a crown
The Getty was real neat


No shit?

Here are some facts you never knew
About the act called number two
The first point is a little crude
But crap is mostly not old food
Eat at the cafeteria
And then you make bacteria
Because the way it’s broken down
Dead red blood cells turn feces brown
Our GI tracts are so complex
Our colons differ for each sex
A good turd is a log that sinks
I think it’s one that barely stinks
Plant cellulose is good for you
It’s why you see corn in doodoo
We carnivores may have a gripe
‘Cause Vegetarians don’t wipe
Newborn doodie is quite bizarre
It’s odorless and looks like tar
The weirdest thing they do with poo
Is when they put it inside you
This can repair your GI tract
Good shit saves lives and that’s a fact!


So many questions

Whatchu doin’ for a living?
Are you taking more than giving?
Are you happy, are you healthy?
Are you married, are you wealthy?
Do you have some pets or fishes?
Do you cook and do the dishes?
Have you made your fame and glory?
Won’t you tell me your life’s story?


Here’s my SOTU recap

State of the Union – time for nap
Only two more years – it’s a wrap
It’s like he’s on his final lap
Next to Biden and orange chap
Taxing the rich is not a slap
Middle Class is treated like crap
Obama plans to close the gap
He wants students to get their cap
The pipeline plan he had to scrap
Defend free speech, condemn the slap
It makes us safe, it’s not a trap
He put transgenders on the map
That’s sure to cause a right wing flap
He finished with a huge “Oh snap!”
“No more campaigns to run” – clap, clap
“I won both of them” – shut yer yap!


He do not sow

We said goodbye to Ziggy
He wasn’t very biggie
A tiny little fishy
Who wasn’t very swishy
Though it’s a little meta
We got another betta
His blue is almost neon
I think we’ll call him Theon


Say big hawk three times fast

Red Hawk, Red Hawk in the sky
Can you see me with your eye?
As you sit atop the tree
Do you even notice me?
When you dive to catch a mouse
Can you see me in my house?
Mr. Hawk I don’t know why
But I really want to fly


My new cover letter

The stupid here is off the chart
They are so dumb it hurts my smart
I ask my friends both far and near
Please help me find a new career


Catch as cat can

Chasing cats isn’t fun
Run Linc Run
I might burn in this sun
Run Sean Run
He won’t stop till he’s done
Run Linc Run
I catch him, so I’ve won
Run Sean Run


Running around the desert together

That magic night five years ago
When my wolf pack began to grow
Went to the top of the Horseshoe
You pledged to me, I pledged to you
We’re back again, top of Fremont
I say to you so nonchalant
Let’s do that thing we can’t abstain
Looking for strippers and cocaine


Still time to be resolute

The lights are gone, the tree is down
Can’t spend the day in a nightgown
It’s back to the same old routine
Unless you’re a king or a queen
It’s back to work or back to school
No more time to act like a fool
Get off the couch, put down the beer
Let’s exercise in the new year!


Down with people

I’m getting old, this is a sign
People are a pet peeve of mine
I don’t like when they are in groups
I don’t like when they sit on stoops
I don’t like when they’re all alone
I don’t like when they wear cologne
I don’t like when they talk too much
I don’t like when they try to touch
I don’t like when they drive too fast
I don’t like when their girth is vast
I don’t like when they will not leave
That’s why people are my pet peeve

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