I feel fine

Late to the party
Two years after it began
I blame Paddy’s Day


Don’t peek, but this peak piques my interest

To me the numbers still seem bleak
But it looks like we’re past the peak
I still will mask and wash my hands
But now I’ll go to see live bands


Roll on omicron!

First 2020 came
And it was plenty lame
In 2021
Still 2020 won
Will 2022
Be 2020 too?
Can we be Covid free
By 2023?!?


Christmas with the cats

It’s time for joy and festive cheer
But things are different this year
I could not get back to the states
So now I’ll spend it with me mates
They’re wearing black and amber hats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
It’s not the same and that’s ok
I’ll celebrate a brand new way
Just like LA it won’t be white
But over here, the weather’s shite
My parents send me online chats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I want to party till it’s late
But this year pubs will close at eight
No ugly sweaters on display
No pub crawls on St. Stephen’s Day
I blame the feckin’ bureaucrats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats
I have to bring a biscuit tin
Or else my friends won’t let me in
The wine is mulled, the pudding’s plum
The pies have mince, yeah that sounds dumb
The yummy sweets – the tasty fats
This year it’s Christmas with the cats


I like pi

New variant is omicron
The seventh after epsilon
If this one doesn’t make me die
Maybe I’ll get a slice of pi


Fuck State Farm too!

Steelers are black
Packers are green
Aaron Rodgers is a fucking, lying,
     anti-vaxxer, piece of shit


Zombie céilí

Everybody scream
Everybody yell
This is not a dream
It’s a scene from hell
Zombies are dancing at Copper Face Jacks
Not a single mask – not a single vax
Everybody dance
At the zombie rave
Crawling in a trance
From their fresh dug grave
Zombies are dining at Copper Face Jacks
They are eating fronts – they are eating backs
If you value life
Everybody run
Get yourself a knife
Get yourself a gun
Zombies are killing at Cooper Face Jacks
They’re hunting alone and roaming in packs


Straight from the horse’s ass

There once was a man from Tacoma
Who unleashed a deadly aroma
He took the horse pill
Which made his butt ill
And put the whole town in a coma


Fucking Dumb Asses!

Says its OK
So get your fucking shot today!


Covid tunnel syndrome

After months of isolation
My fertile imagination
And futile infatuation
Leads to frequent masturbation


Second jab is Saturday

Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer


Did you notice?

If there is no poetry
Will they even notice?
If there are no posts from me
Will they even notice?
If no games or LEGO bricks
Will they even notice?
If no left wing politics
Will they even notice?
If no Linc or Brownie Bear
Will they even notice?
If no pix of COVID hair
Will they even notice?
If I shave off my goatee
Will they even notice?
Will I write this poetry
Just so you will notice?


That text was better than sext

I’ve been stressed out to the max
Then I got some hopeful news
I’ve been scheduled for the vax
That has brightened up my blues


Show me your vax pix

I see so many vax pix
Each one I see gets my clicks
I also want a vax pic
But vax roll out is not quick
I will not get the vax soon
I won’t get it before June
It might take till September
Or god forbid December
I want to get a vax pic
I do not want to get sick


Crappy Paddy’s Day – the sequel

All Irish lassies and their laddies
Will be missing another Paddy’s
They’ll have to have craic another way
Éirinn go Brách ’till next Paddy’s Day


It’s the same old meme since twenty-nineteen

Another year goes badly
Paddy’s sadly voided
And deniers, stoked the fires
Should have been avoided
And you see, that to me
They hate my family
With no masks, and false facts, they’re denying
With our masks and our jabs
And our jabs made in labs
Wash your hands, stay inside, we are crying!
COVID sucks, COVID sucks
When will this end, will it end?


Still at level five

There once was a woman named Bronagh
Who wanted to visit Verona
But thanks to lockdown
She can’t leave her town
All thanks to the virus Corona


In other good news…

The sun is shining
Vaccinations have started
Rush Limbaugh is dead


Natural 20

D&D, red wine
And Indian take-away
I’m critting lockdown


Existing isn’t living

Constant solitude
Eternal isolation
Stifling loneliness


She’s great with a prick

There once was a woman named Maxine
A pusher of dope in the smack scene
She was really fab
At giving a jab
So now she administers vaccine


I thought the day would never come

This year needs a fucking conclusion
Impeached due to Russian collusion
Then masks that cause facial contusion
We’ve all suffered from forced seclusion
We can’t have a big celebration
But one thing will bring jubilation
And comfort to every nation…
Spontaneous ejaculation!!!


The dream before Xmas

‘Twas a week before Christmas, and all over town
All the talk about COVID was bringing me down
I wanted to snuggle and spoon in a bed
With a winsome woman who loves giving head
And what do my wondering eyes should appear
But a sweet Irish lass to bring me good cheer
She sat on my lap, and she rubbed on my dick
If she kept that friction, I knew I’d come quick
I needed her badly – to unload my sack
So onto the mattress, and there she lay back
I kissed down below – I kissed on her belly
Her perky tits heaved and jiggled like jelly
A wink of her eye, and a roll ’round the bed
She drained Santa’s sack, and then left me for dead
I was to bring gifts to some kids up the road
But here with this lass I had dropped my whole load
As I left the temptress who looked out of sight
“Happy Christmas to me, I’ve had such a good night!”


All the twos – quack quack

Monday night bingo
The bane of my existence
Gets my through lockdown


Covid Claus

There once was a dude named Kris Kringle
Whose bags were so full they would jingle
Through front and back roads
He dropped many loads
He left behind gifts that would tingle


I’m living like it’s 6

We can blissfully
Move from 5 to 3
Or ignorantly
Move from 5 to 3
But regardlessly
We’re moving to 3


Thankfully not all

After a long day
Even angels realize
Most people are cunts


Four seasons total landscaping

Joe Biden might be sleepy
But Jizztrumpet is weepy
He’s also super creepy
And just might savor peepee
He’s really good at lying
While so many are dying
Now in his bunker crying
We’ll need Joe’s unifying


Crappy Halloween

Trick or treat
Smell my feet
2020 is not sweet
Treat or trick
Suck my dick
2020 makes me sick


Where are my p̵a̵n̵t̵s masks?

Everything is COVID
Everything is dull, dangerous and obscene
Everything is COVID
Till we get a new vaccine


C u next time

If we want to stay alive
It’s six more weeks of level five
But we know that selfish pricks
Will make us go to level six
All because they would not wear
A mask to shield their viral air
Level six is dig your grave
Thanks to the cunts that won’t behave

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