Are there any rhymes?
I checked the poetry vault
There aren’t any left


A reduction in poe-ah-trees

Did you realize
There have been fewer poems?
Two days a week now


Happy birthday today and every other day

Happy birthday
So nice to see
Happy birthday
It should be as good as can be
Oh happy birthday
Happy birthday make a wish for free
That on your birthday you will plant a money tree
Happy birthday
Have fun today
Happy birthday
I hope you just eat cake and play
Oh happy birthday
You’ll open your presents and party with glee
Oh happy birthday
I hope you sing this part with me
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day of the year is fine, yeah
But then when your birthday comes
But then when your birthday comes
You can find me rhymin’ all of the time
Happy birthday
Have fun today
Happy birthday
Don’t get carried away
Whoa, Happy birthday
Don’t go away
Happy birthday
It’s here to stay
Oh happy birthday
Oh happy birthday


I hope I didn’t make you yawn

Alarm goes off at dawn – I yawn
I put the kettle on – I yawn
My laptop won’t logon – I yawn
I feel a bit withdrawn – I yawn
Lunch is a warm jambon – I yawn
It seems that summer’s gone – I yawn
This poem is now drawn – I yawn
Here is the denouement – I yawn


And nobody booed

I tried something new
Tonight I read poetry
In front of a crowd


Sharing is caring

Fewer and fewer seem to care
Hardly any have clicked on share
If you enjoy a rhyme or two
A simple like or heart will do


Bad poetry day

To some folks, my poems are shitty
They’re rude, vile and stupid – not witty
They say that my drawings ain’t pretty
More worthy of scorn, not your pity
It’s fine that some find it offensive
I used to get moody and pensive
Then lash out because I’m defensive
My therapy bills were expensive
But now when my poems are hated
I won’t feel so low and deflated
The reason I’m now liberated?
Bad poetry is celebrated!


Please, no wagering

Is life a competition
Or just an exhibition?
I don’t need your permission
To write this composition
Expose my exposition?
Oppose your opposition!
These lines are an admission
I’m not a word magician
I have no inhibition
With thought to page transmission
My rhyming repetition
And drawing demolition
Might nurture nerve nutrition
And intellect ignition
To wrap up this submission
My prose and picture mission
Will come to its fruition
With global recognition
A well-to-do patrician
And songs by a musician


Did you notice?

If there is no poetry
Will they even notice?
If there are no posts from me
Will they even notice?
If no games or LEGO bricks
Will they even notice?
If no left wing politics
Will they even notice?
If no Linc or Brownie Bear
Will they even notice?
If no pix of COVID hair
Will they even notice?
If I shave off my goatee
Will they even notice?
Will I write this poetry
Just so you will notice?


Ever Given is giving nightmares

You would be everyone’s least favorite pal
If your boat blocked up the Suez Canal
Kickstarted board games will lift my morale
Unless they’re stuck in the Suez Canal
As poems go this is dull and banal
But not as fucked as the Suez Canal


Art imitates art

Open my journal
And I write, “Dear Diary
Fuck 2020!”



It’s time for your annual partay
I wish I could be at your soirée
To prove that I care
This rhyme that is rare
Is only for you on your birthday


Never-ending nonsense

One constant in this madness
My poems still endure
And I will bring the gladness
Until they find a cure


Balls on pen island

I have a pen with balls on it
They flop and bop but they all fit
One ball is red, two more are blue
It has more balls than just these few
Play with the balls, they twist and bend
You’ll tease these balls like your boyfriend
The black balls sag, the others wag
This pen is fun and not a drag
One ball is pink, two more are green
The weirdest pen you’ve ever seen
Though it is strange I’m sure it can
Write a strange rhyme for this strange man


Made you look

I make a thing that no one sees
It can’t be touched nor can you squeeze
I make this thing three times a week
I know you know of what I speak
This thing is made out of my brain
If I don’t rhyme, I’ll go insane
This thing I make I hope you care
And if you do, I hope you share


So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”


It wasn’t me

When a drummer meets a drummer
Which one is the bummer?
When a ranger meets a ranger
Which one is in danger?
When a poet meets a poet
Which one doesn’t know it?
When a martyr meets a martyr
Which one is the farter?


Supplied with air

I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
I thought I could write my Brownie a theme song
I’m all of out rhymes, I can’t make a haiku
It’s no doubt too late to say that my art’s so wrong



Feeling kinda cute
Might write and draw a haiku
And delete later


Not a moment too soon

Just before midnight
It’s time to write a haiku
If anyone cares


The gift that keeps giving

Another journey ‘round the sun
Another year of joy and fun
Another trip with plans to make
Another candle on your cake
Another chance to get your kicks
Another person drawn with sticks
Another post that’s so sublime
Another silly birthday rhyme


Don’t mind the socks

1,000 poems
The only thing I’ve done more
Is pleasure myself


Thanks for the help Manya!

There once was a woman named Manya
Her parents had started with Tanya
They kept up the rhyme
At child naming time
With Sanya and Manya and Lanya


She’s the best

I know it’s late, what can I do?
My poetry is overdue
I’m sorry, but my Jelly Moo
Is more pressing than all of you


Not a poo poem in sight

This happens every night
I don’t know what to write
I rhyme with all my might
But nothing comes out right
With page empty and white
I guess I’m not so bright


Share that shit!

Are you providing new content
Or hoping memes show your dissent?
If all you do is click on share
I question if you really care
Don’t simply share, please add your thoughts
Help simpletons connect the dots
And one last thing I beg of you
If you do share, share my shit too!


The Ghastlytrump tinies

The work is done, the secret’s out
I’ll tell you what it’s all about
We all know Trump’s deplorable
But this book is adorable
The images and clever scripts
Predict a Trump apocalypse
Send them your cash or just donate
And love will triumph over hate


Share my stupid shit too!

I think I’m done, ’cause no one cares
This poem won’t get any shares
I rarely get likes, laughs or hearts
Unless it’s about shits and farts
I don’t know what I have to do
To get an interact from you
If we don’t change this dismal trend
This Facebook page will see its end


Drops mic

Sean writes and draws three times a week
He doesn’t have a good physique
He studied more than lifting weights
In High School he had zero dates
But still he has a gorgeous wife
Who’s happy with their way of life
His brains are better than his brawn
Sean is clever, so be like Sean



Went down under to get some ink
I found a place that didn’t stink
There was some pain, but I pushed through
To get a stick person tattoo


Please take the bribe

If you share with a friend or two
I will write a poem for you
If you share and a friend clicks like
I will draw you dropping the mic

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