211126

211126
Kate is in Clint’s class

There once was a Hawkeye named Barton
Who found a sidekick he could smarten
When Clint first met Thor
Cap, Tony and more
Kate Bishop was in kindergarten

210611

210611
You put your right one in…

I’m watching a show about Loki
Some think he’s as tasty as gnocchi
They would take it out
And shake it about
In order to do Loki pokey

210416

210416
As sidekick to Cap he was plucky

There once was a soldier named Bucky
Who fell from a train but was lucky
He lost his left arm
But no other harm
His new metal arm isn’t sucky

210226

210226
Oh snap!

A couple named Vision and Wanda
Should never have gone to Wakanda
First killed by his wife
Then Thanos took life
What happened to Vizh is a shanda

201111

201111
Will ye go lassie go?

The trailer for Wild Mountain Thyme
The accents used might be a crime
The dialog sounds trite and flat
The Irish just don’t sound like that
It’s filled with bad Paddy clichés
Irish reviews will lack of praise
Thyme might be wild upon that hill
But this reeks of Darby O’Gill

200923

200923
The pumpkin spice must flow

It’s autumn bitches!
Cooling down, colorful, and
Pumpkin spice for all!

200619

200619
You have my sympathies

There once was an actor named Ian
Who played parts from noble to peon
As Bilbo and Ash
He made a huge splash
Those roles will endure for an eon

200515

200515
That sore on his lip was a canker

This fella from Cork was a banker
He got a tattoo of an anchor
He thought it was cool
But that fucking fool
His mom told him – “You’re still a wanker!”

200504

200504
Sorry about the mess!

Since I’m Solo now
A good Han is important
I often shoot first

200424

200424
That flick with his tail – quite a tricky

There once was a rodent named Mickey
Who asked Minnie Mouse for a quickie
She laughed in his face
That being the case
He banged Betty Boop with his dickey

191227

191227
She did and did not

There once was a Jedi named Daisy
Who made all the fanboys go crazy
When she used the force
They screamed until hoarse
Misogynist hatred is lazy

191018

191018
It’s beyond me…

They have a blow out
They just want to use the phone
But rose tints their world

191016

191016
…pation!

There once was a Furter named Frank-N
Whose Rocky was built for his wankin’
But Janet designed
To blow Rocky’s mind
With touchin’ and thrillin’ and thankin’

191014

191014
I see you shiver with antici…

Now’s the time we talk of Rocky
Brad Majors was kind of cocky
Janet Weiss did not like getting
Into scenes that caused seat wetting
Dr. Frank liked looking pretty
Eddie sang a little ditty
Then he got a damn good whacking
Said the man whose neck was lacking
Dr. Scott rode in a buggy
Riff Raff was a balding druggie
And his spying sis Magenta
With Columbia would yenta
Lastly there was Frank’s creation
Who was built for fornication
More than just a midnight movie
Rocky Horror Show is groovy

191011

191011
He’s plain batty

There once was a villain named Joker
Who was bad and not mediocre
He made people smile
Then killed them with style
While wearing a vest that was ochre

190902

190902
Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes

Feeling fat – feeling bloated
Eating chips – I’m devoted
Pants too tight – my belt cinches
Need to lose – ’bout two inches
Got a plan – extreme eating
Lots of prunes – then excreting

190809

190809
Excremential crisis

In just one month I’m 52
I have ennui and deja vu
I do not know what I should do
I could wear black or powder blue
I could eat steak or Irish stew
I could watch Jaws or something new
I could just pee or full on poo
Lord give a sign here in the loo!

181031

181031
Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me

While I’m handing out the candy
Rocky Horror makes me randy
Sweets and treats for all the kiddies
As I stare at Janet’s titties

180919

180919
Toad is a dick!

Raphael has a pointy sai
Captain Mal has a Firefly
GI Joe has a kung fu grip
Jizztrumpet has a mushroom tip
Ms Pac-Man has a cute hair bow
These are things that I can’t unknow

180613

180613
“I hate you.” “I know.”

As Star Wars goes, this ain’t the worst
They got it right when Han shot first
But this Han was slightly #Yolo
That’s why I was meh for Solo

180507

180507
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

Infinity Stones
Wielded by The Mad Titan
Stardust in the wind

180221

180221
Wakanda forever

Wakanda is cool
Bald women with spears are hot
Black Panther is great

171227

171227
So over 2017

Can’t wait for this year to end
So hard losing my best friend
Jizztrumpet is a big child
Neo-Nazis running wild
Orders for a Muslim ban
Stimulates the Ku Klux Klan
All women hashtag #MeToo
Roy Moore’s lawyer is a Jew
Rich folks got a big tax break
Bigots won’t bake wedding cake
Star Wars fans hate number VIII
Next year best be fucking great

171216

171216
Been with me since 1977

A long time ago
In a mall far, far away
A film changed my life

171104

171104
We are family

White House is a huge disgrace
Jizztrumpet is in our face
Hollywood is showing warts
Nothing good in world of sports
Ragnarok is doing well
Breast cancer can go to hell
But I do not give a damn
I’m just hanging with the fam

170626

170626
I’d like to Slytherin your Gryffindor

There once was a Potter named Harry
Who fought against foes that were scary
But his greatest dread
Performing in bed
His wand work was quite ordinary

170529

170529
Can’t wait for Volume 3!

There once was a raccoon named Rocket
His friend Groot could fit in his pocket
He’s covered in fur
But one thing’s for sure
His tail won’t be worn by a Crockett

170503

170503
#DarkTowerMovie

Dark Tower off in the distance
Without it there’s no existence
Gunslinger protects the tower
Man in Black has eldritch power
Jake Chambers mid-world explorer
Stephen King writes more than horror
Jean and I are constant readers
My excitement might exceed hers

170410

170410
This looks Hela good!

Hammer shock
Ragnarok
I predict lines ’round the block
Hulk and Thor
Go to war
This is what I’ve waited for!

170113

170113
Next Friday is scarier than Jason

Friday night and I got money
So it’s date night with my honey
Head to Red Box then to take-out
Hoping that we get to make-out
But this Friday is a thirteen
And our nice night ended up mean
Movies and the food were sucky
So we didn’t get too lucky
While this evening seemed to be cursed
Next Friday will surely be worse

161228

161228
“We miss you” “I know”

There once was a princess named Carrie
Whom every boy wanted to marry
In moonlight angled
Her own bra strangled
‘Cause this year is our adversary