Brownie should go to El

There is no room up on the couch
So Brownie’s acting like a grouch
He won’t lay down, he will not go
His head is blocking half the show
He then proceeds to cut some farts
This smell is off the fucking charts
He’s barking now, that’s overkill
I guess I won’t Netflix and chill


Must miss TV

I want to watch the TV
But Linc is very kneady
And Brownie’s sitting on me
This show is pretty crappy
And now I gotta pee pee
I’m never watching TV


Marathon Monday

If Mondays make you wince or cringe
You just might need a streaming binge
Try Disney+, Netflix or Prime
Watch drama, comedy or crime
There is a new Lord of the Rings
And Season 4 of Stranger Things
My bedtime was three hours ago
But new dragons on HBO!


Pink man cave

I’ve gone and changed my upstairs room
To start, I cleaned it with a broom
I picked up rubbish from the ground
Then moved the furniture around
It has a TV and loveseat
The LEGO wall looks pretty neat
I put my desk and laptop there
It also has a rolling chair
The clincher is a spinning bike
And I can ride it when I like
Work, exercise, play, watch and rest
My office/man cave is the best


Kingpin of Kilkenny

I like to sit around and roll
So I decide, I’m gonna bowl
I see the pins and throw the ball
I aim it straight to hit them all
The ball goes left, I hit but one
I roll again, that ball hits none
It’s been a while and that’s a fact
But honestly, I feel attacked
I hit just five in the next frame
Frames three through nine were much the same
I then decide I need to change
The balls I rolled, they all felt strange
They hurt my fingers quite a bit
I need a ball with holes that fit
I start to search the bowling hall
To find my Cinderella ball
There’s one behind a rubbish pile
My fingers fit, I start to smile
I slide it down the well-oiled lane
The red-necked pins explode with pain
Now that’s the bowling that I like
It took ten frames to bowl a strike
And now I get to throw twice more
Another strike! I start to roar!
Just like a bowler in their prime
I get a third, it’s turkey time!
So if you’re feeling in the pits
Just find yourself a hole that fits


That’s what he and she said

“What’s up?” says he
“Not much,” says she
The back and forth futility
“Let’s meet again.”
“Sure thing, say when.”
Until the end of time – amen


Merry birthday

‘Twas the night before birthday, and inside my place
Linc and Brownie are sitting in front of my face
I’m trying to watch Parks and Rec season two
But these selfish monsters are blocking my view
They don’t have a cake and not even one toy
But they want to be near a good little boy
Now Brownie, now Lincoln, if you’ll both sit still
We’ll give brand new meaning to Netflix and chill



I like Fish Heads by Art and Artie
I play that song at every party
The lyrics are dumb
I eat them up yum
They’re nutritious, healthy and hearty


There ain’t no cure for the summertime blues

Therapy day – therapy day
I always feel better on therapy day
My cheeks are much wetter on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I talk about issues on therapy day
I fly through the tissues on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I wallow in sadness on therapy day
I tamp down the madness on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I don’t talk about you on therapy day
I just talk about you on therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day
I weird laugh and gross cry on therapy day
I can’t wait to have my next therapy day
Therapy day – therapy day


Nap lap trap

Linc nestles into my lap
Just so he can take a nap
As the hours fly on by
I might be stuck here till July


Rat in a cage

I am full of rage
Linc kneads and Brownie snuggles
I am less angry


At the Y I’ll dine

It’s almost nine
I’m out of wine
These guys are mine
I’m feeling fine


He’s purrrrfect

My Linc is a goof
He’s rarely aloof
That cat is a freak
A flying black streak
As smart as a chimp
That lovable imp


All I want to do…

Don’t ever presume
You’ve muted your zoom
That boisterous boom
That’s filling your room
With foul-smelling fume
Could be career doom


Bet they smell it in New Delhi

Watching Netflix on the telly
Linc is kneading on my belly
Brownie’s farts are awful smelly
Does my lifestyle make you jelly?


Sorry about the mess!

Since I’m Solo now
A good Han is important
I often shoot first


No time to defecate

Tonight I’m working late
But I am not irate
When people think I’m great
It puts food on my plate



I’m used to this as I live alone
I rarely shower or wear cologne
The dog don’t mind and neither the cat
They don’t complain or say that I’m fat
They don’t gossip or make me feel sad
The best teammates that I ever had


Insomnia is my biggest vice

I forgot to go to bed
Bees are buzzing in my head
Skipping sleep sure is not wise
I’ll just sit and close my eyeszzzzzzzzzz…


Typical Friday

Stomach rumbles, need to hurry
Gonna go and eat a curry
Swallow it and now I’m groovy
Time for wine and Netflix movie


I’ll boldly go!

A red-head on Star Trek named Tilly
Is brainy and friendly and silly
At first a cadet
Then Klingon War vet
She gives we warp nine in my willy


There’s always next year

Sportsball isn’t fun
The Patriots won
New England is glad
The rest of us sad
Old England won too
The green boys are blue
The cats got a loss
Jizztrumpet’s still boss
This world is all wrong
Let’s toke on this bong


Dog and catnap

I found some time to take a nap
Dog on my left, cat in my lap
I have been on a busy streak
Fastest five minutes of the week


Lazy days of Summer

Though it’s barely one
Linc lays in the sun
Brownie’s in my lap
Guess we need a nap


He kept it well stocked with grape jelly

There was an old drunkard named Kelly
Whose clothes were so soiled they were smelly
In his dressing gown
To stay sitting down
He put his fridge under the telly


Anything but plain

There once was a lass on an airplane
Who spilled so her jeans had a wine stain
Her goldfish she shared
Attention was snared
Creating the legend of plane Jane


Not a bad start

It’s the first day of the year
Linc and Brownie are both near
Even though I’m feeling blue
They help change my point of view


Been with me since 1977

A long time ago
In a mall far, far away
A film changed my life


Thank you Jelly Moo <3

The thing I’m thankful for this fall
Is getting to know Jean at all
I’m grateful that we got to meet
Together we were both complete
We pledged our love for our lifespan
And she made me a better man
My Sweetie Pea and my best friend
My love for Jean will never end


We are family

White House is a huge disgrace
Jizztrumpet is in our face
Hollywood is showing warts
Nothing good in world of sports
Ragnarok is doing well
Breast cancer can go to hell
But I do not give a damn
I’m just hanging with the fam


Or GenCon or Origins or…

As a game geek, I’m not messin’
Really wish I was in Essen
Charterstone is on the hot list
Gaia Project cannot be missed
Scottish Clans are making whisky
Tony Boydell has some Nice Tea
Transatlantic, Keyper, Merlin
Now my mind cannot stop whirlin’
Altiplano, Codenames: Duet
All my gaming needs would be met
Though my love for games won’t lessen
Really wish I was in Essen

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