0228
DC = don’t care
It’s about time that Congress backed
Violence Against Women Act
Republicans like the drama
When it seems to hurt Obama
Injustice at the Supreme Court
Minorities have lost support
When good happens in Washington
Another’s rights become undone
0226
Pyramid Pyromania
Old Pope is stepping down
Helen Hunt wears cheap gown
Ben’s Argo is the best
Blizzards hit the midwest
In Egypt, balloons crash
Gasoline costs more cash
Blade Runner kills girl friend
Gun deaths won’t ever end
0225
Yummy in my tummy
There was a fat dude from Buena Park
Who enjoyed his meat a little dark
It was a nice treat
To finally eat
A hot dish that exceeded the mark
0224
Was his first name Tom?
She Walks in Beauty
By Lord Byron
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express,
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
0223
I’m such a tease
I call poems poetries
But these rhymes don’t grow on trees
I like to use similes
As if I had some disease
My art has deficiencies
Clearly not my expertise
My limericks aim to please
They bring hot chicks to their knees
My haiku’s are such a breeze
Some might think I’m Japanese
I don’t think that these are sleaze
Though I make no guarantees
0221
MWP & LAPD
A Laker who was once Ron Artest
In Cookie Monster PJs was dressed
He talked to the cops
About some gun props
To help his actors avoid arrest
0220
Roq of the 80’s
I want an 80’s flashback
How Soon is Now? and Love Shack
Oingo Boingo and U2
Relax and Pictures of You
The English Beat and Soft Cell
Pulling Mussels from a Shell
Berlin and Duran Duran
World Destruction and Roxanne
Men at Work and Tears for Fears
All these songs stuck in my ears
0219
I got the last word
Growing up as a nerd
My chances were absurd
Of going to a dance
Or having a romance
With the girls I wanted
Instead I was taunted
For having some knowledge
And going to college
Although I’m still a nerd
I have a lovely bird
And those who threw the taunts
Are filled with hopes and wants
0218
Wish I could have bought her
I was hiking near the water
All was well until a yachter
Passed too close to a sea otter
Who got sunk and dropped his daughter
I jumped in and grabbed and caught her
By her tail, until I brought her
To her pop, who licked and pawed her
Most won’t believe, but they oughtta
0217
inside my thoracic cavity
i carry your heart
by e.e. cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
0216
CrazyBlindHaiku.com
One day you’re not whole
Then you go on a blind date
Next day you’re complete
0215
Distressed not obsessed
When filling each nook
Of your poem book
Ever skipped a page
And started to rage?
They you’re just like me
And have OCD.
0214
By kitty I mean…
There once was a girl with one titty
She was smart and funny and pretty
She had a blind date
And found her next mate
She liked him, and he liked her kitty
0213
Eat less
Drink water
Exercise more
When I am on a diet
My stomach won’t stay quiet
If my belly feels hollow
Cups of water I’ll swallow
Makes me dash to the latrine
All this running keeps me lean
0212
UCLA all the way
In 85
I could not drive
In my High School
I was not cool
Off to college
To gain knowledge
UCLA
Blue and gold, yay!
Joined Rally Comm
They were the bomb
I met a bud
His name was CHUD
There was Kathy
And RDB
They called me Pope
I had new hope
Though still a geek
That was now chic
In 85
I felt alive!
0211
Pope Benequit
I woke up to news that the Pope had quit
I thought to myself, “Now ain’t this some shit?!?”
Catholics around the world will have to cope
‘Cause since 1985, I’ve been Pope
0210
What a beautiful pussy
The Owl And The Pussy-Cat
By Edward Lear
I
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
‘O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are,
You are,
You are!
What a beautiful Pussy you are!’
II
Pussy said to the Owl, ‘You elegant fowl!
How charmingly sweet you sing!
O let us be married! too long we have tarried:
But what shall we do for a ring?’
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose,
His nose,
His nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.
III
‘Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?’Said the Piggy,’I will.’
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
They danced by the light of the moon,
The moon,
The moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.
0209
No meat balls
There once was a ginger named Betty
She was bitchy, stuck up and petty
Her hair was bright red
When her legs did spread
Her muff looked a lot like spaghetti
0208
Rain is for suckers
I detest the rain
Driving’s such a pain
If it rained at night
That would be alright
0206
Disney + Star Wars = So Many ???
When it comes to cool, there is no equal
Han solo is tops, but why a prequel?
Disney should think twice about who they cast
Channing or Taylor would leave me aghast
Perhaps Michael Cera could play young Han
Selling bananas out of a Tauntaun
Donald Glover as Lando would make sense
Just thinking about this is so intense
Mostly I wonder how they’ll screw it up
The Star Wars version of 2 Girls 1 Cup
To those involved, if you don’t get it right
You should all be frozen in carbonite
0205
Use the cash Luca$
Disney is doing what Lucas wouldn’t
But some fanboys think the mouse house shouldn’t
They picked a guy that penned a Toy Story
Will he bring the franchise back to glory?
Does Star Trek helmer know about the force?
Luke should never say, “Sulu, plot a course!”
Lastly, the prequels were so full of suck
They will need a kiss from Leia “for luck”
0204
We’ll never get it back
Ravens won the Super Bowl
Gun nuts dislike gun control
Tweeters tweet “The lights are out”
Global warming leads to drought
Boy scouts want to end gay ban
Should we nuke Afghanistan?
Bullies leave another dead
Has the whole world lost it’s head?
0203
I luve Jean
A Red, Red Rose
By Robert Burns
O my Luve’s like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly played in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I;
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a’ the seas gang dry:
Till a’ the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun;
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o’ life shall run.
And fare thee weel, my only Luve,
And fare thee weel awhile!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho’ it ware ten thousand mile.
0202
She’s such a craisin
Today we hiked with Raven
When she saw another bitch
She started to howl and twitch
Is she angry or craven?
0201
Burnt out nerd?
Men at Work was my first concert
So gnarly, I bought a t-shirt
“It’s a Mistake” and “Overkill”
They played all their hits; what a thrill!
Tom and I were offered some grass
We refused like it was nerve gas
The show ended with “Down Under”
When I reminisce I wonder
If I had puffed on what was passed
How would that have changed the past?
