A callous phallus

The old man next door is a meanie
A fascist just like Mussolini
He’s no treats just tricks
This ghoul has no fix
He suffers from small hollow weenie


Cemetery girls

Well werewolf girls are chic
I really dig their fuzzy hair
And the vampire girls with the way they neck
They’ll wipe your mind with just a stare
The witches and their daughters
Always make you scream all night
And the mummy girls with the way they hug
They tie their daddies up real tight
I wish they all could be cemetery
I wish they all could be cemetery
I wish they all could be cemetery girls


The asterisk PM

There once was a PM named Lizzie
Whose policies made people dizzy
She fucked up the pound
And got people down
Then quit in a bit of a tizzy


The inconvenience of Clerks III

I’ve seen the third and final Clerks
The end of those New Jersey jerks
Less like Jedi, more like Empire
At least it’s no prequel quagmire
Of course there’s Silent Bob and Jay
And cameos to save the day
It made me laugh, it made me cry
Dante and Randall’s last goodbye


He plundered her booty

There once was a pirate named Aodhán
Who had a real knack for pursuadin’
A fine Irish lass
To show him her ass
And then he’d commence with invadin’


55 First Dates at 55

Since I left the United States
I’ve been on 55 first dates
It’s been a crazy last four years
I’ve had some laughs and caused some tears
But something changed nine months ago
I’m not alone – I’m not solo
I’ve found a woman who’s first rate
I’m sure I’ve had my last first date


Games or rent?

1188 games in Essen
1188 games to see here
1188 games in Essen
How could you play them, play them in a year?
At your house, and their house,
At game nights, and at conventions
With strangers, with friends,
With husband or wife
1188 games in Essen
How could you play them all in your whole life?


Trickle up fact

Everything is more expensive
Corporations are offensive
Though us peons scream and holler
Big biz gets our hard-earned dollar

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