220131

220131
Meatless Mondays

I love cheese pasta made with pesto
It has no meat but still’s the best-o
I love it when it’s paired with vino
It has no meat but still is keen-o

220128

220128
Goodbye Silver Brick Road

I’m a little bit fuzzy
Got thick fur outside
When there’s a full moon
I must secretly hide
I don’t have much worry – bud
Since I’ve been bit
I pee like a dog now
And sniff their shit
I used to wear silver, ha
But now it brings woe
And it’s weird when the sun sets
That my nails start to grow
This curse is too much
‘Cause now I need flea shampoo
If I bite your leg, I’ll give it to you
And you can turn at the full moon
And run with the packs
You might get quite furry, and
Like Scooby snacks
Werewolves are maligned
Werewolves are maligned
They are put down by words
But they keep on howling
While their tails are curled

220126

220126
Don’t peek, but this peak piques my interest

To me the numbers still seem bleak
But it looks like we’re past the peak
I still will mask and wash my hands
But now I’ll go to see live bands

220124

220124
Hit it Max

That Garsa Fwip
Sharp as a whip
She used to strip
When it was hip
You best not flip
Or lose your grip
‘Cause in a blip
She’ll make you trip
With just one quip
You’ll be a drip
So bite your lip
‘Cause you got zip

220121

220121
K-I-S-S-I-G-88

Boba Fett and Fennec Shand
Riding on a bantha’s back
Chasing Niktos on the sand
End them with a swift attack
Fennec Shand and Boba Fett
Piloting a Firespray
Settling another debt
Hunting Pykes – this is the way

220119

220119
Full moon fever

Full moon way up high
Full moon lights the sky
Full moon bright as day
Full moon guide the way

220117

220117
N stands for knowledgeable

I once was told to go to hell
But I could not drive there
I have a license now – that’s swell
Still I’m going nowhere
I should be good and happy that
I cannot get to hell
If they don’t have my dog and cat
It’s probably just as well

220114

220114
Happy birthday Brownie!

A dog was born ten years ago
His fur is brown, like cookie dough
He isn’t bright, a little dense
His head is stupidly immense
He’d sell his soul to get a treat
But most of all that dog is sweet
I’ll sing him this, but he won’t care
Oh happy birthday Brownie Bear!

220112

220112
Ikaris sucks

The worst character
In Marvel’s Eternals is
A bloody Scotsman

220110

220110
Except, I will

I think that Linc pretends he’s sweet
But all he’s after is a treat
His phony purrs no longer work
He’s not my friend, he’s just a jerk
I won’t be tricked to give him food
‘Cause treats are given if you’re good
I will not feed him ’cause he’s fat
I will not feed that evil cat!

220107

220107
I don’t think she meant tobacco

The things that I do on the shitter…
Like scrolling through nonsense on Twitter
A raging debate
That caused so much hate?
A lass said she’s always a spitter

220105

220105
Three degrees of urination

Woke up this morn, ’twas minus three
Got out of bed to have a pee
The ice cold floor was such a shock
Warm urine dribbled out my cock
My feet had frozen to the floor
As I leaked out a little more
The trickle turned into a stream
In panic, I let out a scream
So in came Linc and Brownie Bear
While I wailed in wet underwear
Then Brownie stepped into the piss
It splashed on Linc who gave a hiss
The two of them began to fight
While I assessed my pissy plight
I heard them roar and bark and howl
As I reached for the nearest towel
My feet had warmed – no longer stuck
I pulled them free of all the muck
Into the shower I did go
At last the urine ceased its flow
I cleaned the pets, I cleaned the floor
I cleaned myself three times or four
I threw the wet clothes in the bin
We will not speak of this again!

220103

220103
So many options

As a yank
Should I wank
Till there’s nothing in the tank?
Or
As a mick
Should I flick
Rapidly upon my dick?
Or
As a chap
Should I slap
My salami and then nap?