200131

200131
The long goodbye

No longer Europe’s friend
You thought it best to end
So long
We wanted you to stay
But you fled anyway
Farewell
You will not see us grieve
When all you tories leave
Auf Wiedersehen
Don’t let the door hit ya
Where the good Lord split ya
Adieu

200129

200129
Clouding my judgement

Is it just wishful thinking?
Or is the darkness shrinking?
The days are getting longer
My will is growing stronger
But cloudy silver lining
Is blocking all the shining!

200127

200127
#DollyPartonChallenge

Did a challenge made by Dolly
Showing I am fun and jolly
The first photo was for LinkedIn
It’s the one I look most pink in
Silly side for good old Facebook
Instagram – my hot and cool look
Hoping that the one for Tinder
Leaves you smoking like a cinder
My best self in four dimensions
Seeking all of your attentions
Hope you don’t feel you’ve been cheated
But this challenge is completed

200124

200124
Eff the Effers

FF and FG
Can Eff themselves eternally
It’s time for SF
And every party from the left

200122

200122
Just one more thing…

When I hit a groove, I work really great
But I don’t begin until it’s too late
I’m doing my best to get going soon
But I find it hard to start before noon
Despite this slight hitch, I still have my pride
So I will push these distractions aside
My pets are downstairs, I’ve locked up the boys
I’ve tidied my space, I’ve muted the noise
I know I’ll do well, I’ll give it my most
I have one more thing this poem to post

200120

200120
Number two for you

Some posters want my number one
But I can’t piss that high
I’ll take a shit and when I’m done
I’ll throw it in their eye

200117

200117
Balls on pen island

I have a pen with balls on it
They flop and bop but they all fit
One ball is red, two more are blue
It has more balls than just these few
Play with the balls, they twist and bend
You’ll tease these balls like your boyfriend
The black balls sag, the others wag
This pen is fun and not a drag
One ball is pink, two more are green
The weirdest pen you’ve ever seen
Though it is strange I’m sure it can
Write a strange rhyme for this strange man

200115

200115
Work isn’t a resolution

I’ve been resolute
About my resolutions
But that’s about it

200113

200113
Hidden talents

Yesterday I hid in the sun
It was hot and it sure was fun
Now today I hide in a cloud
It is wet and thunder is loud
And someday I’ll hide in the moon
When it’s safe and that won’t be soon

200110

200110
Ask your doctor if boner juice is right for you

There is a first mate in Balbriggan
Who got his balls caught in the riggin’
Now he cannot blast
Or get to full mast
Unless boner juice he is swiggin’

200108

200108
Made you look

I make a thing that no one sees
It can’t be touched nor can you squeeze
I make this thing three times a week
I know you know of what I speak
This thing is made out of my brain
If I don’t rhyme, I’ll go insane
This thing I make I hope you care
And if you do, I hope you share

200106

200106
Now that’s deep

We are finite and infinite
We live a lifetime in our shell
Our eternity fits in it
But it’s not a bottomless well

200103

200103
7″ wonder of the world

A tourist who visited Agra
Decided to tryout viagra
At the Taj Mahal
He swallowed them all
His balls emptied just like Niagara

200101

200101
What is your 2020 truth?

New year means new beard
It is not brown anymore
It will now be gray