Good grub great guys

It is National Chili Day
So spend it in a special way
My favorite place to go is Tom’s
They put hair on your chest and palms
They serve iced tea from a bottle
And talk comics with a model
Don’t be scared ’cause their skin is brown
Tom’s Take-out is the best in town


Who you gonna call?

There was a Ghostbuster named Egon
Who knew how to contain a hell spawn
With particle beams
You don’t cross the streams
But he did, and now he has passed on


Not McDreamy
or McSteamy
but unseemly

From the hairs inside my noes
To the claws upon my toes
I’m as round as a trash can
But I’m hot, ’cause I’m a man


Now on kickstarter!

The perfect game for a geek date
Is Cosmic Wombat’s Stones of Fate
Easy to play and quick to learn
Leaves time to flirt during your turn
There’s wands and swords and cups and coins
And artwork that might thrill your loins
It’s made by my friend Luke Laurie
And tests your skills and memory
To win a card, you place your stones
Then flip the card, and check the zones
If you play games with your soul mate
Then you should try the Stones of Fate


We found our home!

Our house, our house, we sold our house!
We were homeless, me and my spouse
And house hunting can be scary
So we called on our friend Mary
Through many listings we did comb
Until we found the perfect home!


And not one eye was lost

The game con was fun by golly
I playtested with Tom Jolly
In Dreadwood Luke did desecrate
Jeff demonstrated Stones of Fate
After I Rolled Through the Ages
I saw warriors and mages
In Caverna my dwarves explored
Then I bought games I could afford
We got home before it was dawn
Another successful Orccon!


They were fabulous at the Forum

We just saw Simon and Sting
Those two guys can really sing
From The Boxer to Fragile
They both proved they have it still


Happy singles appreciation day

Don’t you worry, never fear
Valentine’s is almost here
The one day you love to hate
‘Cause you do not have a mate
Even though you went on match
You still have an itch to scratch
Now the hour’s getting late
So you sadly masturbate


Number one with a bullet

When making number two
There is no guarantee
I want to make a poo
But all I do is pee
I give it all I got
And try with all my heart
But squatting on the pot
The most I do is fart


What’s up on the road

The Walking Dead is back on
We saw Rick, Carl and Michonne
But no Carol or Daryl
We do not know their peril
Poor Hershel was just a head
No more spoilers will be said


Believe what you want, but you’re wrong

On a Friday, dark and dreary
Reading Facebook, I get weary
From doubters of Big Bang Theory
What I tell them causes friction
When I say the Bible’s fiction
Young Earth is a contradiction
Faith is their sole reliance
They don’t understand real science
They’re as dumb as an appliance


They looked good enough to eat

While I’m walking down the street
Bunnies hopping on concrete
They are cute and so petite
Those hares made my day complete


It really makes me upset

Another password reset
I break out in a cold sweat
Changing them is never fun
I can’t remember this one
Should I use a percent sign?
Should I try to intertwine
Capitals and lower case?
Do I have to put a space?
In my head, my password’s stored
And taped onto my keyboard


116 bottles to be honest

99 bottles of wine in our house
And we finished them all, me and my spouse
We sipped Grenache, Syrah and Chardonnay
We quaffed Marsanne, Roussanne and Cabernet
We drank Zinfandel and Sauvignon Blanc
We gulped Viognier and Cabernet Franc
We had bottles from Zaca and Talley
Some from Red Zeppelin and Edna Valley
We had Casa Dumetz and Bishop’s Peak
I wonder how many we’ll drink next week!

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