Month: May 2014

140531

140531
Look at my green thumb

Pull the weeds
Plant the seeds
Water plants
Kill the ants
Rake and hoe
Watch them grow

How important is it that
I draw pictures to look at?
Do you need it all the time
Even if it doesn’t rhyme?
Would it ever dawn on you
If I missed a day or two?
I’ll just leave this poem here
While I draw a Mouseketeer

140527

140527
#YesAllWomen trumps #NotAllMen

#YesAllWomen is not trumped by
#NotAllMen, so if you’re a guy
You need to walk in women’s shoes
To see how #SomeMen can abuse
Women know that it’s #NotAllMen
But it happens time and again
That #SomeMen think that it’s their right
To hassle women day and night
Women are not simply objects
To be your slut, to give you sex
You need to treat all women well
If you don’t, you can go to hell

140525

140525
Like sex for me in 80’s

There was a man named Professor X
His students could move and blast objects
Slide around on ice
Use claws that could slice
Watching X-Men is as good as sex

140523

140523
Making memories for Memorial Day Weekend

Three day weekend
With my best friend
72 hours of fun
Gonna sleep late
It will be great
Already good and just begun!

140521

140521
I’d like to solve the puzzle

Wheel of Fortune’s Pat Sajak
Is as dull as dental plaque
He goes trolling on twitter
And he comes off as bitter
He pokes fun at climate change
And takes pix at a gun range
He puts down women and gays
His opinions cause malaise
Please don’t follow Pat Sajak
Sony should give him the sack

140519

140519
Limpin’ Jack Flash

Here’s some news that makes me sad
Diet soda is now bad
Angelina’s still with Brad
Mick Jagger’s a great-granddad
Rap music is not a fad
Getting old makes me so mad

140517

140517
He is the entertainer

Let’s go see Billy Joel
At the Hollywood Bowl
He’s the Piano Man
And I’m a life long fan
I’m gonna take my wife
So he best play “My Life”!

140515

140515
Boy’s best friend is pussy

Dog bites child
Cat gets riled
Ninja cat
Makes dog scat
Danger rid
Cat saved kid

140513

140513
STFU Donald!

There once was a racist named Sterling
The rumors had always been swirling
V got an assist
When Magic was dissed
And that got the media whirling

140511

140511
#1 Mom

I have the world’s best mother
She cooks meals like no other
She keeps a spick-and-span house
She cleans with nary a grouse
Always time to fix a mess
Every task is a success
I have the world’s best mother
I love her like no other

140509

140509
Definition of meh

I hate when I open a door
And leave footprints on a wet floor
I feel bad, but I must confess
I walk away and leave the mess

140507

140507
Apologies to Night Ranger

Sister Cersei – oh, Jaime has come
Then he pushes Bran, and that is dumb
Foul play, no way
Then King Robert tries to fight a boar
But he loses, and that starts a war
Bran flew, ’cause you

They’re Hodoring
Three-eyed crow in flight
As Summer he will bite
The walkers are all white

Bran, you know Hodor is walking fast
Going north you find the wall at last
Robb slay by Frey
Sister Cersei – Joffrey’s much too mean
You don’t care because you’re still the queen
You preen, obscene, yeah

Hodoring
Bran’s on your back upright
Jojen’s got the greensight
And Hodor is your might
Hodoring
Three-eyed crow in flight
As Summer he will bite
The walkers are all white

Sister Cersei – now Joffrey is dead
That drives Margaery to Tommen’s bed
Kismet, you bet

But they’re Hodoring
Yeah, Hodoring!

140505

140505
I think your body is heavenly

A billion stars up in the sky
They leave bright trails as they go by
Like ripples forming on a pond
To infinity and beyond

140503

140503
Bacon gouda was very good… ah

If you want a place to park it
Go to AG’s Comfort Market
I think they have the best grilled cheese
All their food will certainly please
Go to Comfort and see Kari
If you don’t, you will be sorry

140501

140501
Hot enough to fry an egg…

78 at nine
Some people think that’s fine
But on the Central Coast
That’s when we start to roast
Ninety seven at noon
That’s when we start to swoon
When it’s still hot at night
It makes us feel like shite
We’ll all be in sorrow
If hotter tomorrow
We’ll be wearing a frown
If it doesn’t cool down