220513

220513
I’m going back to Cali

I’m going back, but I’m not going home
I’m gonna see mom, dad, Tom and Jerome
I’m gonna go back to where I’m the Pope
I’m gonna eat tacos and smoke some dope
I’m not going home, but I’m going back
I’m gonna see friends like a maniac
I’m gonna play games and walk in the sun
And then I’ll go home when all of that’s done

220420

220420
I had a dream…

I’m in Kilkenny
Playing board games with my friends
The dream has come true

220223

220223
Game on!

We’re playing games! We’re face-to-face!
Some games are slow – some are a race
I like to play and have some fun
And make new friends when all is done
And at game end, if I have lost
I do not pout, I don’t get cross
I do not care if I don’t win
I only care to play again!

211206

211206
Semen on a demon

There is a demon on a shelf
He wears the skin of Santa’s elf
He keeps an eye on girls and boys
To rob them of their Christmas toys
He tells their parents they’ve been bad
Because he loves when kids are sad
He tells such lies with hateful glee
So you’ll get nothing ‘neath the tree
No bikes to ride or games to play
And when he ruins Christmas Day
He hides behind the cups and delph
That demon can go fuck himself!

211117

211117
Tooth – two

I started off with Zombie Dice
At push your luck, it’s pretty nice
I then played Tsuro of the Seas
At laying tiles, this game’s a breeze
Then Codenames was the last game played
My clues were great, we had it made
Don’t want to start an argument
But no one knew just what I meant
As clear as day – a key has teeth!
Those jagged bits from underneath
It was a stretch, and that’s ok
‘Cause win or lose, we got to play!

211027

211027
Pod people

First game night this year
Comfy pods in The Front Room
Cluichí agus craic

210609

210609
Second jab is Saturday

Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer

210531

210531
Did you notice?

If there is no poetry
Will they even notice?
If there are no posts from me
Will they even notice?
If no games or LEGO bricks
Will they even notice?
If no left wing politics
Will they even notice?
If no Linc or Brownie Bear
Will they even notice?
If no pix of COVID hair
Will they even notice?
If I shave off my goatee
Will they even notice?
Will I write this poetry
Just so you will notice?

210324

210324
Ever Given is giving nightmares

You would be everyone’s least favorite pal
If your boat blocked up the Suez Canal
Kickstarted board games will lift my morale
Unless they’re stuck in the Suez Canal
As poems go this is dull and banal
But not as fucked as the Suez Canal

210129

210129
Natural 20

D&D, red wine
And Indian take-away
I’m critting lockdown

201123

201123
He’s purrrrfect

My Linc is a goof
He’s rarely aloof
That cat is a freak
A flying black streak
As smart as a chimp
That lovable imp

201016

201016
I didn’t ask how big the room is!

That wizard was part sage part moron
His fireball point blank missed Voron
But back just a bit
We got burned to shit
The rest of us maybe should cop on

200807

200807
Chunder bringer of thunder!

Now Bingo has gone on hiatus
He’ll come back again as the greatest
Soon he’ll polymorph
Until then this dwarf
A druid named Chunder my latest

200803

200803
The small woman

My tinkerer in Gloomhaven
Was a modest, moxie maven
She gave her coins to the Great Oak
And got some blessings to invoke
Her hardwork did unlock the Saw
And now retires with scant hoopla
She battled through a twelve game slog
I say goodbye to An Bhean Bheag

200727

200727
Not all adventures need dice

A castle up the old north road
An eerie, sinister abode
A brave but sad elf was our host
He said his wife was now a ghost
We wondered why she took her life
What caused this human so much strife?
It seems our host would leave for years
She found a man to stem the tears
But when her husband reappeared
Her lover fled – the worst was feared
She had two loves, but neither one
Was there to love, so she had none
She tried to leave but when she died
Her spirit was forever tied
The host asked us to do our best
To put the lady’s soul to rest
So we asked him to tell his tale
He did and cried a mournful wail
His spectral wife then felt his love
No longer chained, she flew above
No weapon drawn, no spell was cast
But we had done what we were asked

200720

200720
One halfling band

Every party needs a healer
And a solid damage dealer
Though most parties do not know it
They should always have a poet
If your fighter has gone AWOL
And your rogue can’t pick locks at all
If your caster takes a beating
While your cleric’s barely breathing
Leave it to the brave musician
To complete the crucial mission

200706

200706
Mind if I sing while you kill?

The tunnel’s dark, I cannot see
“What’s happening in front of me?!?”
The fighter groans, and then he grunts
“I’m gonna kill you feckin’ cunts!”
The rogue attempts a sneak attack
I hear a thud and then a thwack
The sorceress shoots scorching rays
But up ahead it’s still a haze
The cleric does not comfort me
For all I hear is, “Blessed be!!!”
And then at last the fight is done
My contribution? Just this one

200629

200629
Friends of Frenamath

A trio took a demon down
And won the favor of a town
His Holiness – benevolent
He smites foes quite malevolent
Some say that Voron is a sneak
Just ’cause it seems his fingers speak
The fighter plucked the demon’s heart
So locals thought they’d do their part
The scene of such a noble act
Now Ravnar’s Tower – that’s a fact!
You’d best not try to block their path
The heroes three of Frenamath!

200626

200626
I’m attacking the darkness!

There once was a DM named Derek
Whose clichés were rarely generic
He got a new dude
And mage with a ‘tude
To play with a rogue and a cleric

200622

200622
Then pints were quaffed – seven or eight

A dungeon crawl to liberate
Some loot from those with no heart rate
Sarcophagus a heavy weight
The lid came off – a twist of fate
Stone statue then did animate
With one goal – to exterminate
The bard – then target of hulk’s hate
Rolled through the legs to separate
A crossbow aimed – the bolt flew straight
It found its mark – the giant great
Exploded in a spray of slate
The spoils were split with every mate

200615

200615
Shocking grasp

One day the lady Seraphin
Sat down upon an old coffin
And right there where the lady sat
Appeared a giant feckin’ rat
Most ladies would scream, cry and gasp
Yer one struck with a shocking grasp
The tail did burn, the rat was charred
A fearsome sight so says this bard

200608

200608
Killing kobolds

The kobolds thought that they’d do in
The bard and Lady Serafin
But they did not expect to see
This duo with ferocity
While Serafin got knocked about
The halfling took his crossbow out
The first bolt went into an eye
Now that’s a gruesome way to die
The next three bolts flew through the air
And found their marks with deadly flare
Poor Serafin was black and blue
A healing word made her anew
The lady yelled “now go to sleep!”
A hidden dagger was plunged deep
And now the legend can begin
The bard and Lady Serafin

200527

200527
Serene routine

Walked the dog for exercise
Under partly cloudy skies
Got the clothes in from the line
Poured myself a glass of wine
Played some games and won a few
Hope tomorrow’s this good too

200325

200325
Thanks yucata.de!

It’s weekly game night
But we can’t play face-to-face
So we play online

200318

200318
We got this or else we’ll get that

I stay home to be complying
It ain’t great, but it beats dying
Keeping up my social distance
To continue this existence
Tons to do in isolation
Solo games and masturbation
Reading books and fighting sorrow
Wonder what I’ll do tomorrow…

200219

200219
Ja oder Nein

You might be liberal
But you’re probably fascist
Or Secret Hitler

200212

200212
Escaping with games

When it’s this cold, I’d rather hide
Under warm throws and stay inside
But I love games, so once a week
I revel in my outer geek
Into the pub, I jitterbug
And slide into a cozy snug
I have a pint and see my mates
We roll some dice and curse our fates
I do not keep a record sheet
Of all the times I taste defeat
While victories are always fun
I feel like I’ve already won

200113

200113
Hidden talents

Yesterday I hid in the sun
It was hot and it sure was fun
Now today I hide in a cloud
It is wet and thunder is loud
And someday I’ll hide in the moon
When it’s safe and that won’t be soon

191209

191209
I’m getting out of Cali

The last two weeks were number one
Though I was always on the run
And rain and clouds obscured the sun
But seeing friends was really fun
I played some games and even won
Time with my folks – second to none
I did so much – I did a ton
A great two weeks but now it’s done

191202

191202
Sean-Con 2019

They say you can’t go home again
But I went back and met a friend
A second friend! A third! A fourth!
So many friends I have up north
We played some games and ate good food
Which put me in a happy mood
I had some wine they drank some beer
Can’t wait to do again next year

191028

191028
Money lesson in Essen

Nice trip to Essen
I still bought a lot of games
But less than last year