220110

220110
Except, I will

I think that Linc pretends he’s sweet
But all he’s after is a treat
His phony purrs no longer work
He’s not my friend, he’s just a jerk
I won’t be tricked to give him food
‘Cause treats are given if you’re good
I will not feed him ’cause he’s fat
I will not feed that evil cat!

211006

211006
His number one trick

I took Brownie for a walk
He went pee on every block
We had walked about a mile
When he made a young girl smile
I don’t know what made her beam
Maybe it was Brownie’s stream
Wonder if he’d been a hit
If she had seen Brownie shit

210813

210813
Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th

Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent

210714

210714
Walk the walk

We are walking to show we care
We are walking ’cause they’re not there
We are walking for survivors
We are walking for your fivers
We are walking to find a cure
We are walking all night for sure
We are walking for Jean my wife
We are walking – Relay for Life

210621

210621
Happy yoga day

I want to go to Rome in Italia
But you have to dress the part
And I don’t look good wearing a toga
T-O-G-A, toga
I have to lose some weight, so I sat on a rug
I reached for my toes
‘Cause I’m gonna try to do some Yoga
Y-O-G-A, yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I’m not the world’s most flexible guy
But when I bent my back I nearly broke my spine
Fuckin’ yoga!
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand
How people touch their toes
Just by reaching their hand
Fuckin’ yoga!
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I bent, posed, stretched and strained all night
But still my hamstring’s just too tight
I stood straight up, and then went on my knees
And demonstrated how an old dog pees
Well, I’m not the world’s most dexterous man
But I know what I am and I’m just a fat man
Who can’t do Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga

210607

210607
Walk Brownie walk

Walked with Brownie really far
Walked downtown past Ryan’s Bar
We walked past outdoor cafes
People basking in sunrays
We saw shops with fish and meat
Brownie thought he’d earned a treat
We walked past the new skate park
And small dogs that always bark
We walked past a donut shop
Brownie wouldn’t let me stop
We saw people all around
Life returning to this town
We crossed bridges here and there
I walked far with Brownie Bear

210326

210326
Winnie’s the shit

There once was a Pooh bear named Winnie
He was pretty chubby not skinny
And I must admit
That Pooh is the shit
If you don’t like Pooh, you’re a ninny!

210301

210301
I hope someone will say – fair play!

I get food from the take-away
And Monday week is next Monday
When driving over to Galway
I take the Dual Carriageway
Post X-mas is St. Stephen’s Day
And fourteen stones is what I weigh
The pitch is where the hurlers play
I keep on learning every day

201214

201214
My jingle jangled

Letting myself go
Don’t care how much I weigh
Sweets and cookie dough
Gorging all the way
Hanging out with Linc
He is not too bright
I’ll sit back and quaff my drink
I’ve had enough tonight!
Brownie smells, Brownie smells
Brownie smells all day
He’s no fun to sit beside
His farts will make you pay
Brownie smells, Brownie smells
Brownie smells all day
He’s no fun to sit beside
His farts will make you pay

200708

200708
Brownie Bear at my side

It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Look back on the Christmas lights (which Linc broke)
The tears that I cried
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Oh! This is the doggie that Jean and I chose
Oh! This little doggie has such a cute nose
Oh! He runs at full speed along the chain fence
Oh! Brownie’s motherfucking head is immense
Oh! When out on a walk – don’t care where he goes
Oh! His head is so big, I think it still grows
Oh! The rest of the doggies don’t wear their leads
He runs through weeds, eating the seeds
That’s what Brownie Bear needs
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
Afterwards he takes a quick doze
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
When it’s time for dinner he knows
He wants a nice treat
He wants his rawhide
Still, it’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side

200701

200701
I didn’t kiss it!

Most every day, I walk my dog
And on one walk, we found a frog
It was not jumping on a log
Or hiding in a stinky bog
We found it near a busy road
Perhaps in fact it was a toad
It hopped around and never slowed
So I walked home to my abode

200527

200527
Serene routine

Walked the dog for exercise
Under partly cloudy skies
Got the clothes in from the line
Poured myself a glass of wine
Played some games and won a few
Hope tomorrow’s this good too

200410

200410
What’s good about it?

Good Friday isn’t good
Can’t do the things we should
The end of lent – so what?
The pubs are all still shut!
Can’t hike a single trail
Beyond my 2K pale
Can’t visit with me mates
No piles of food on plates
No Easter eggs to hunt
‘Cause Rona is a cunt
I guess I shouldn’t whine
When most I know are fine

200323

200323
#TeamPope

I’m used to this as I live alone
I rarely shower or wear cologne
The dog don’t mind and neither the cat
They don’t complain or say that I’m fat
They don’t gossip or make me feel sad
The best teammates that I ever had

191225

191225
The first of many

Frosty morning walk
Friends, presents, eating, and drinks
Kilkenny Christmas

191223

191223
That must have been some doll

I really hope this Festivus
Brings good cheer for the rest of us
I’ll win the feats of strength no doubt
And grievances may get aired out
But there’s no hate around my pole
While Black Pete brings you lumps of coal
There had to be another way
And Festivus became that day
Remember in just two days time
The Christmas bells will start to chime
For peace on earth, goodwill to all
Who bought their son a lovely doll

191211

191211
Thanks Jessica!

Two things you should know about crêpes
Is crêpes cannot be many shapes
‘Cause mostly they are round and flat
And eating them won’t make you fat
While one of those things isn’t true
I still want to eat one or two
And one or two can’t make me fat
So there is the truth and that’s that

190916

190916
I love them both

Brownie loves food and naps and walks
And he loves sticks and balls and rocks
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves shoes and coats and hats
And he loves birds and dogs and cats
Linc Loves Linc
Brownie loves him and them and her
And he loves smiles and tails and fur
Linc loves Linc
Brownie loves strong and sweet and stink
And he loves you and me and Linc
Linc Loves Linc

190909

190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!

It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”

190902

190902
Dana Andrews said prunes gave him the runes

Feeling fat – feeling bloated
Eating chips – I’m devoted
Pants too tight – my belt cinches
Need to lose – ’bout two inches
Got a plan – extreme eating
Lots of prunes – then excreting

190710

190710
Brownie Joel

It’s one o’clock on a sunny day
Thinking about staying in
There’s a brown dog laying next to me
He wants to go walking again

He says, “Dad, can you please take me walking now?
Would you please put down your LEGOs?
‘Cause I’m good and I’m sweet and I need a nice treat
I need to sniff grass with my nose”

Ruf, ruf, ruf, barky bark
Ruf, ruf, barky bark ba-bark

Gimme a walk, I’m the Brownie Bear
Gimme a walk, please dad
‘Cause I love sniffing grass when it’s sunny out
And it makes me happy and glad”

190703

190703
Fantastic flora and fauna

I’m helping Hagrid
Save Buckbeak and unicorns
A long walk improved

190610

190610
Pray or prey?

The walking man walks
But where does he go?
The talking man talks
How much does he know?
The winning man wins
But what does he play?
The sinning man sins
For whom does he pray?

190520

190520
Damn vertigo

I tried my best to climb the reek
I ended short of the steep peak
My disappointment is miles high
At least I took pics of blue sky

190508

190508
It’s the tower power hour!

Want to make your foes cower?
Lock yourself in a tower
Exercise for an hour
Wash yourself in the shower
Shedding skin – scrub and scour
Smelling sweet like a flower
Now you have all the power!

190408

190408
I’m streaking!

I’ve closed all three rings
500 days in a row
So says Apple Watch

190222

190222
Human food dispenser

If my Brownie Bear could talk
All he’d say is “Food!” and “Walk!”
If my little Linc could speak
He’d yell, “I NEED FOOD YOU FREAK!”
Glad they can’t articulate
Neverending scorn and hate

190201

190201
February won!

Today is February One
There is February sun
Start the February run
Let’s have February fun!

181231

181231
Hello, goodbye

Hey 18 – so long, farewell
You weren’t great, but you weren’t hell
Hey 19 – welcome, hello
Make us slim, and give us dough!

180829

180829
The music never stopped

Headphones on and walking the town
I’m getting out and getting down
I’m getting milk and getting bread
Listening to the Grateful Dead

180813

180813
Aced it!

I’m always somewhat sleepy
And often I am weepy
I wish that I was rested
I feel I’m being tested
But don’t know how to study
I guess I’ll walk my buddy