We don’t own a calendar

When you’re in a relationship
You have to make some time to play
So grab your partner by the hip
Wednesday’s not the only hump day


Never a kerfuffle

Without naming names
We’re a bunch of fools
We tried learning games
By reading the rules
T’was a total botch
You know we blew it
‘Cause we didn’t watch
Rahdo Runs Through it


We did not play Constantinople

Lorna is this woman I know
Who I met 30 years ago
She came to town the other day
To find some new board games to play
So Lorna, Marc, and Natalie
Played Istanbul with Jean and me
Then we drove to Captain Nemo’s
The card game Gloom is what she chose
I picked up Basic D&D
Then we ate dinner by the sea
We all had a fantastic day
Can’t wait for the next game to play


Aw, it’s you. I never knew.

I met her at a coffee shop
I didn’t want the date to stop
So we went out to a movie
Then the date got pretty groovy
Out to a bar for drinks and dance
Could feel the starting of romance
I dropped her off and bid adieu
Then realized “that’s my place too!”


Two less lonely people

It was six years ago tonight
We met, and Jean was out of sight!
Set up on a crazy blind date
Neither knew that it would be great
She’s the kind of woman, you know
That you grab, and you don’t let go
The kind you can’t stop thinking of
Six years gone, and I’m still in love


Be true to yourself

After years of fighting the fight
Obama has made it a right
What was wrong has been corrected
Trans people are now protected
Homophobes are able to hate
But they cannot discriminate
Foes can laugh and think it’s funny
But they won’t get federal money
Dicks can hate and act like a jerk
But they just can’t do it at work


We partied hearty

I don’t mind cleaning
When the party’s done
I can’t stop leaning
It must have been fun


Holy stupid limerick

There once was a hero named Batman
His enemy Penguin’s a fat man
The rotund bad guy
Tried stealing a pie
But the Dark Knight prevented that plan


Stuck in the bathroom

The door is s’posed to slide
But rarely does it glide
I don’t like to be stuck
When I’m on the inside
It’s something with the wheel
It must be budget steel
I mean like what the fuck?
I’m over this ordeal


Proud to be an ally

We are LGBT allies
We don’t do it to win a prize
We do it ’cause it’s right to do
Equality is overdue


This lantern doth the horned moon present

Tonight there’s a full moon
It’s the first one since June
Look up and be surprised
This time it’s super sized
It did not increase its girth
It’s just closer to Earth


Holy Geritol Batman

Here’s something that ain’t no jive
Batman is seventy-five
Gordon’s been flashing the sign
Going back to ’39
The World’s Greatest Detective
Has been pretty effective
Diminishing Gotham’s crime
Even though from time to time
A two-bit hood like Two-Face
Makes Bats look like a disgrace
Then Robin will stop the gang
By throwing his batarang
Batman’s Bruce and Robin’ Dick
Make this duo dynamic


Don’t drive angry

Common in this day and age
I might suffer from road rage
What’s the fuss? Let me explain
You shouldn’t be in my lane
Screw you, you little stinker
You didn’t use your blinker
First, you’re gonna hear my horn
Then, you’re gonna feel my scorn
If my anger should linger
I will show you my finger
You should quickly drive away
Since you’ve ruined my whole day


At least they’re super cute

I was clean, but now I’m not
Brownie sneezed, and out came snot
Raven covered me with fur
Linc just likes to knead and purr
While he drenches me with drool
Having pets makes me a fool


Double double animal style

When meeting a friend from Facebook
That you only know from online
Go to where they know how to cook
And take pics in front of their sign


And he has a wiggle butt

Brownie’s head is quite immense
And it’s also pretty dense
Plus he really likes to chew
At least his heart is big too

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