210929

210929
Sharing is caring

Fewer and fewer seem to care
Hardly any have clicked on share
If you enjoy a rhyme or two
A simple like or heart will do

210927

210927
Going off the furrow

I don’t know what I’m drinking
I’ve fallen off three wagons
My brain has started thinking
Do all dungeons have dragons?
Can you cry under water?
Did Prince own any plain clothes?
Does laughter lead to slaughter?
Do unicorns fart rainbows?

210924

210924
Teeny broad the naked barber of Main Street

There once was a lass from Youghal Harbour
Who grew up to work as a barber
She thought clothes were rude
So she cut hair nude
The nuns in town wanted to garb her

210922

210922
Mistress of the fabulous!

Elvira’s in the dark no more
She’s found a woman to adore
It’s not too late for new love or
To open up that closet door

210920

210920
That’s what he and she said

“What’s up?” says he
“Not much,” says she
The back and forth futility
“Let’s meet again.”
“Sure thing, say when.”
Until the end of time – amen

210917

210917
He put a dongle up his dingle

A lad with a USB cable
Inserted it ’cause he was able
He tried this strange trick
To measure his dick
It’s totally true – not a fable

210915

210915
Doomscrolling for the loss

Go to bed and scroll
Scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll
Scroll scroll scroll and sleep

210913

210913
Curable curse

The Mayo lads have lost again
Some say it is a curse
The crime committed by those men?
Not stopping for a hearse
In ’51 the jinx was cast
And only one remains
The rest are gone, he is the last
To rid Mayo of pains
But Dr. Mick is not to blame
For chances that were missed
Next year they’ll need to work on aim
And then Sam will be kissed

210910

210910
Straight from the horse’s ass

There once was a man from Tacoma
Who unleashed a deadly aroma
He took the horse pill
Which made his butt ill
And put the whole town in a coma

210908

210908
Merry birthday

‘Twas the night before birthday, and inside my place
Linc and Brownie are sitting in front of my face
I’m trying to watch Parks and Rec season two
But these selfish monsters are blocking my view
They don’t have a cake and not even one toy
But they want to be near a good little boy
Now Brownie, now Lincoln, if you’ll both sit still
We’ll give brand new meaning to Netflix and chill

210906

210906
Wish you were here

It’s time to celebrate your birth
A trip around the sun from Earth
It’s time for posts from friends and kin
And getting drunk with bathtub gin
I hope you get to raise some hell
And barring that, I hope it’s swell
So lift your glass and give a cheer
You’ve made it through another year!

210903

210903
Mayo for Sam!

The folks in Mayo have the reek
Some people climb it every week
They pray to god and kill a lamb
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

Sligo and Leitrim both were beat
The tribesmen soon met their defeat
They told those Dublin lads to scram
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

In Westport there is red and green
The likes of which are rarely seen
Though Galway might not give a damn
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

It’s been a long time since they’ve won
The last time – 1951
They’ll prove the curse was just a sham
“This year we want Mayo for Sam!
Mayo for Sam, Mayo for Sam
Let’s beat Tyrone – Mayo for Sam!”

210901

210901
Long, straight, curly, fuzzy

It’s here, it’s there, I do declare
Around the house, there’s so much hair!
I sweep it up from nine to five
But I can’t stop, that hair’s alive!
It falls off Linc and Brownie Bear
It’s on the ground, it’s in the air
It’s black and brown and coarse and fine
I cannot lie, some hair is mine
It’s on the rug and every stair
It’s on the couch and every chair
It’s on my shirt, it’s on my hat
I have enough to make a cat
It’s on my face and derrière
This feckin’ hair is everywhere!