200228

200228
The media peddle fear

If their temperature is high
Write them off as they’ll soon die
If they have a runny nose
Leave before they decompose
If they blast out splashing poo
There’s a duty you should do
If you hear somebody cough
You should drown them in a trough
If you see somebody sneeze
Kill and bury quickly please
If you think they sniffled snot
You should end them with one shot
If this sounds a tad severe
Media has stoked this fear

200226

200226
Captain Trips

It’s exactly how
The Stand by Stephen King starts
Coronavirus

200224

200224
What is the range for Uber Eats?

This hunger might seem kind of silly
But I am craving Tommy’s chili
I want to nom it by the gallon
I blame it all on drinks with Alan

200221

200221
Using his pin to pull

There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
A pioneer – horny and cheery
“A lad on the sauce
Is pushing with floss
That’s why I drink chai tea my deary”

200219

200219
Ja oder Nein

You might be liberal
But you’re probably fascist
Or Secret Hitler

200217

200217
Vent and lament

It’s absolutely evident
The US has no president
They have a truly arrogant
Jizztrumpet who sows discontent
He’s broken every covenant
Emphatically with ill intent
I hate him one million percent
And if you like him go get bent

200214

200214
V for the D

Some cringe when they see VD Day
Cause VD’s a pain in the A
To them VD’s an STD
That feels like burning when they pee
And if you still abbreviate
Some Facebook friends will postulate
That you just want the world to see
You have a V for your wee D

200212

200212
Escaping with games

When it’s this cold, I’d rather hide
Under warm throws and stay inside
But I love games, so once a week
I revel in my outer geek
Into the pub, I jitterbug
And slide into a cozy snug
I have a pint and see my mates
We roll some dice and curse our fates
I do not keep a record sheet
Of all the times I taste defeat
While victories are always fun
I feel like I’ve already won

200210

200210
Hello Mary Lou!

The country’s run by corporate sheep
The Left’s asleep! The Left’s asleep!
On trolley beds do elders weep
While pay is low and rent is steep
On Saturday the dam did break
The Left’s awake! The Left’s awake!
Let old FG and FF quake
It’s Sinn Féin’s turn for Erin’s sake

200207

200207
The homily was gas

The other day, I met a lass
Intoxicating charm and class
Good wine was drunk glass after glass
She beckoned me to tap her ass
An offer that I could not pass
A lovely way to spend a mass

200205

200205
Sinn Féin – Vótáil 1!!!

I will not vote for Fine Gael
An FF vote would be a fail
I have much more than half a brain
That’s why I’m voting for Sinn Féin

200203

200203
Not in Ukraine either

Kansas City Chiefs
Despite what Jizztrumpet thinks
Don’t play in Kansas