170130

170130
I must insist that you #RESIST

When he institutes a ban
We must do all that we can
To #RESIST his evil ways
From right now till end of days

170127

170127
Make America pay again and again

Mr. Jizztrumpty built a big wall
Mexico was to pay for it all
All of our imports would now face a tax
To place the price tag on American backs

170125

170125
Not an #AltFact

There’s no greater pain
Than stepping on a Lego
While holding a cat

170123

170123
0 days without a lie

A lie is a lie is a lie
And this one is too big to buy
Don’t tell me I need to relax
Stop calling it alternate facts
Newspeak is always rejected
Alt facts are always corrected
If we cannot trust every word
We’ll flush you like a hairy turd

170120

170120
Together we’ll get through it

The past has been good
The present is uncertain
The future more so

170118

170118
I’m not crying! You’re crying!

We say goodbye to 44
We’d like to have at least four more
The good he did, he’d do again
As leaders go, he is a ten
But now it’s time for him to go
And when he’s gone, we’ll miss him so
We say this with the best intent
You’ll always be our president

170116

170116
Will we ever wake up?

I had a dream, but it’s over
Deceased like that dead dog Rover
The Jizztrumpet’s Russian affair
Will soon be our noxious nightmare

170113

170113
Next Friday is scarier than Jason

Friday night and I got money
So it’s date night with my honey
Head to Red Box then to take-out
Hoping that we get to make-out
But this Friday is a thirteen
And our nice night ended up mean
Movies and the food were sucky
So we didn’t get too lucky
While this evening seemed to be cursed
Next Friday will surely be worse

170111

170111
It’s time for him to go

The Jizztrumpet had a secret
And he thought he’d always keep it
To Russia he was beholden
‘Cause of showers that were golden
He will deny this tinkle tryst
While he’s on twitter getting pissed!

170109

170109
That would be a fun game night

I want to party with Kristen and Dax
They both know how to have fun and relax
After the awards, they pulled out Catan
They had wood for sheep and got their geek on

170106

170106
Spoons solve situations

If your day was one big muddle
When you dropped stuff in a puddle
And your wine does not befuddle
Problem solved with one big cuddle

170104

170104
Rehydrated haiku

First rain of the year
Just enough to flood the streets
Lakes are still empty

170102

170102
United we wade uphill

When I wake up next to you
There is nothing I can’t do
If you’ll be my jelly moo
I will be your sugar pooh
In this year that’s still brand new
Hand in hand we’ll see it through