200529

200529
#ICantBreathe

Black men live in fear and terror
Homicide by a badge wearer
They don’t want to burn and riot
They just want some peace and quiet
Police murder due to pigment
White privilege is not a figment
Racists love Jizztrumpet’s chatter
More than ever, #BlackLivesMatter

200527

200527
Serene routine

Walked the dog for exercise
Under partly cloudy skies
Got the clothes in from the line
Poured myself a glass of wine
Played some games and won a few
Hope tomorrow’s this good too

200525

200525
He wants “Fore!” more years

A man is not a man
Who golfs while many die
He has no thoughtful plan
He does not even try

200522

200522
Inches > Centimeters

There once was a fella named Kevin
Who claimed his dick went to eleven
He played truth or dare
They dared him to share
He barely whipped out half of seven

200520

200520
Firsthand knowledge

Is your tummy cramped and coiled?
Do farts leave your trousers soiled?
Is your brown eye feeling boiled?
Check the milk, I bet it’s spoiled!!!

200518

200518
Phase craze

(18 May)
We’re now in phase one
The phase with no fun
(8 June)
Phase two on June 8
Can visit a mate
(29 June)
And when phase three drops
They’ll open most shops
(20 July)
The next phase is four
We’ll go shore to shore
(10 August)
And lastly phase five
The pubs are alive!!!

200515

200515
That sore on his lip was a canker

This fella from Cork was a banker
He got a tattoo of an anchor
He thought it was cool
But that fucking fool
His mom told him – “You’re still a wanker!”

200513

200513
Bags by Brownie

John and Gemma played a silly game
Tried to keep their ten minutes of fame
John and Gemma don’t know when to quit
They should go and eat a bag of shit

200511

200511
Just a little longer

It isn’t over yet
But I am not upset
My parents are still fine
So is that brother mine
I haven’t lost a mate
And though it isn’t great
I know it will be fine
By 2029

200508

200508
Yes, mistress!

There once was a mistress named Megan
She’d often leave wealthy men beggin’
She’d start with a tease
Then quick as you please
She’d bugger them good with a peggin’

200506

200506
In case you were wondering

With no landline in a lockdown
And all your friends are way downtown
With just your pets you live alone
You really shouldn’t wash your phone

200504

200504
Sorry about the mess!

Since I’m Solo now
A good Han is important
I often shoot first

200501

200501
5318008 on a calculator

There once was a woman named Helen
With each boob as big as a melon
Each night her two mitts
Were squeezing those tits
Exploring her globes like Magellan