180831
Get that man a beer!
There once was a drunkard named Charlie
A fan of the hops and the barley
If he didn’t get
His foam filter wet
He’d end up bad tempered and snarly
Month: August 2018
180829
180829
The music never stopped
Headphones on and walking the town
I’m getting out and getting down
I’m getting milk and getting bread
Listening to the Grateful Dead
180827
180827
What’s worse than a curse?
There is an airport out in Knock
Where there ain’t much but stone and rock
The Holy Mary was seen there
With Joseph floating in the air
So Pope Frank went to see the church
Where Joe and Mary once did perch
The airport staff waited in line
To give Francis a shirt to sign
A jinx he was asked to reverse
In hopes of ending Mayo’s curse
Instead of such a petty task
A thousand things they could have asked
About abuse by priests and nuns
The church has failed the little ones
Little remorse, barely regret
Before he left them in his jet
180824
180824
What’s with the Crisco
There once was a pope named Francisco
Who roofied some dudes at a disco
With all of the noise
The three altar boys
Were certainly worth the huge risk-o
180822
180822
But you should share this
Go see the pope in Phoenix Park
Stroll through an alley after dark
Jump in a pile of broken glass
Ignore effects of greenhouse gas
Elect outsiders out of spite
In thunderstorms go fly a kite
Don’t bother wiping after poo
These are some things you should not do
180820
180820
I might need to get one
From Castleknock to Castlebar
Mullinavat to Mullingar
You can’t get there without a car
From County Cork to County Clare
Killarney, Kilcoole and Kildare
Without a car you can’t get there
180817
180817
Three to one odds
There once was a lad named Fitzpatrick
In football he tallied a hat trick
His favorite game
Was given a name
Three women in bed was a cat trick
180815
180815
High Street haiku
Castle, cathedrals,
Pubs, cafes and narrow streets
What’s in your city?
180813
180813
Aced it!
I’m always somewhat sleepy
And often I am weepy
I wish that I was rested
I feel I’m being tested
But don’t know how to study
I guess I’ll walk my buddy
180810
180810
Her middle name was Mulva
There once was a lass named Dolores
Whose sexual tales would not bore us
First kissing of lips
Then grinding of hips
It always would end with clitoris
180808
180806
180806
The trouble with stubble
Kissing scruff can cause beard burn
It’s a badge that’s fun to earn
Folks can also get ‘stache rash
It turns up when faces smash
Stubble might lead to red bumps
Trouble signs of hairy humps
Whiskers tickle cheeks and lips
Up above or down by hips
If you find a face that’s cute
Take some care if it’s hirsute
180803
180803
Patron saint of wood
There once was woman named Brigid
Whom most lads considered quite frigid
But she was quite quick
At taking a dick
And making it stiff, thick and rigid
180801
180801
Rail to nowhere
Sitting on a train
In the driving rain
Searching for the perfect station
Don’t know where to go
Hope we get there slow
Waiting for my destination
Every single place
Wants to plead its case
Each town has a revelation
Though the people there
Do not seem to care
All around this awesome nation