Brownie should go to El

There is no room up on the couch
So Brownie’s acting like a grouch
He won’t lay down, he will not go
His head is blocking half the show
He then proceeds to cut some farts
This smell is off the fucking charts
He’s barking now, that’s overkill
I guess I won’t Netflix and chill



Never say never
Gonna love you forever
Give you all my love
You fit like a glove
Up with you – it just feel right
Never say never
Gonna love you forever
Let me take you now
You gotta show me how
Down with you – every night


Did you make mankind after we made you?

Atheists don’t ever say grace
And “he” is always lower case
They don’t get hung up on belief
And sinning does not cause them grief
They don’t believe in virgin birth
They know that life ends here on earth
They don’t have hymns to soothe their soul
But atheists have rock and roll!


Must miss TV

I want to watch the TV
But Linc is very kneady
And Brownie’s sitting on me
This show is pretty crappy
And now I gotta pee pee
I’m never watching TV


Marathon Monday

If Mondays make you wince or cringe
You just might need a streaming binge
Try Disney+, Netflix or Prime
Watch drama, comedy or crime
There is a new Lord of the Rings
And Season 4 of Stranger Things
My bedtime was three hours ago
But new dragons on HBO!


She wasn’t that choosy

There once was a woman named Susie
Who everyone called the town floozy
Gross men by the score
Would party and more
Right there in her filthy jacuzzi


I hope I didn’t make you yawn

Alarm goes off at dawn – I yawn
I put the kettle on – I yawn
My laptop won’t logon – I yawn
I feel a bit withdrawn – I yawn
Lunch is a warm jambon – I yawn
It seems that summer’s gone – I yawn
This poem is now drawn – I yawn
Here is the denouement – I yawn


At least I’m not gaining

I walk a lot for exercise
And climb the stairs to work my thighs
The food I eat I used to hate
But I can’t seem to lose some weight


Is it in yet?

I push it in and pull it out
I see her lips begin to pout
I’m breathing hard and start to sweat
She bluntly asks, “is it in yet?”
I pull it out and push it in
I look at her, and we both grin
Our bodies heave in ecstasy
I just plugged in the USB


Cold pints will have to do

It’s hot this August night
To me, it’s a delight
The Irish think it’s not
To them it’s too damn hot
They’re sweating in this heat
And melting in the street
There’s nowhere they can be
The pubs don’t have AC!


Your neon lights will shine for you

Xanadu is closed
Olivia Newton-John
May she rest in peace


100% chance of moisture

There was a young lass named Delaney
Who liked her boys rugged and brainy
When students with pecks
Would read books and flex
She’d get wet though it wasn’t rainy


Pink man cave

I’ve gone and changed my upstairs room
To start, I cleaned it with a broom
I picked up rubbish from the ground
Then moved the furniture around
It has a TV and loveseat
The LEGO wall looks pretty neat
I put my desk and laptop there
It also has a rolling chair
The clincher is a spinning bike
And I can ride it when I like
Work, exercise, play, watch and rest
My office/man cave is the best


16 + 5 = forever

I miss you James, I miss you Jean
Though pain of loss is truly mean
Unending love is stronger yet
Because of that, I can’t forget
My brother James and lovely wife
They showed me how to embrace life
Their kindness, joy and laughter too
I’ll always miss the both of you

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