I have been, and always shall be, your friend

The news today was quite a shock
For many years he was our friend
But death comes for all in the end
Live long and prosper Mr. Spock!


I <3

All women need to know
Not all men are shallow
Green, hazel or blue eyes
We love you any size
We love you if you’re tall
We love you if you’re small
We love you if you’re brown
We love you when you frown
We love you when you grin
We love you if you’re thin
We love you if you’re fat
We love you, and that’s that


LOL’d at Blackhawks

Tom and Lourdes came to visit
The good times were quite exquisite
We started with the butterflies
The Rib Line had beach balls and fries
We drove around to taste some wine
About that time, we felt real fine
Joe Daddy was in the Casa
We ate tortas like a boss-a
Then played Dixit and Zombie Dice
About that time, sleep sure was nice
Waffles made from cinnamon rolls
Accompanied by fruit in bowls
Sent T and L off on their way
We did all that in just one day!


How do most dog stories end?

I hope Brownie learns
He has no more turns
Books are for reading
They’re not for eating


Eat ice cream for breakfast day

Ice cream for breakfast; ice cream for lunch
Ice cream for dinner; eat it with punch
Ice cream for dessert; ice cream all day
Ice cream will affect how much you weigh
Ice cream for parties; ice cream all night
To help cancer kids, let’s have a bite!


Or shave it bald

If I have some gray up there
I can put dye in my hair
But I’d like to have a hint
When my pubes should lose their tint
Wonder if it would confound
If I color up my mound


Black cats are slimming

On a Friday, in Kentucky
Thirteen black cats are unlucky
Farmer Brown could not be fatter
So he fell off of his ladder
Safely indoors the poor fella
Opened up a plaid umbrella
Then his daughter broke a mirror
As the black cats skittered nearer
Unaware of superstitions
They were shot with Brown’s munitions
Poor black cats they only wanted
To warn that the house was haunted


One hand in my pocket

Don’t act like a brat
Don’t wrestle a cat
Don’t eat when you’re fat
Don’t let it fall flat
Don’t wear the wrong hat
Don’t sleep on a mat
Don’t be a pack rat
Don’t say it like that
And above all else
Don’t go to combat


It’s a dog eat book world

Shredded paper on the ground
From what used to be a book
Culprit’s fur is chocolate brown
Know he’s guilty from that look


Forever forever

“Who loves you more than me?”
“Nobody, Nobody!
“What can I do for thee?”
“Please be my Sweetie Pea!”


Raise your fin if you’re a left shark

Left shark, left shark dancing on stage
Rocking out for minimum wage
Can’t dance on time, can’t keep the beat
His downfall was his two left feet


A butt tuba

Taro rat
Tangy gnat
Taboo bat
Taco cat

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