161130

161130
In the prick of time

Had to rush Jean for a shot
Her white cells were not a lot
This is what you have to do
When you love your sugar pooh

161128

161128
The bird made a turd

There once was a tweeter on Twitter
Whose tweets were both hateful and bitter
But folks liked his tweets
More than the elites
So now we’ll end up in the shitter

161125

161125
Maximize lights per square inch

To brighten up this shitty year
I hung the lights upon our tree
This early start on Christmas cheer
Helps change my mood from gloom to glee

161123

161123
I wish Texas had seceded

It’s a Black Wednesday
Judge blocks new overtime law
Crappy Thanksgiving

161121

161121
UCLA docs > Santa Maria docs

Jean’s arm pain needed an answer
Still her doctors missed her cancer
Their opinions suck we reckoned
So Jean went and got a second
Bruin doctor shared what he’s known
No to chemo; yes to hormone
Now we have a brand new mission
To get Jean into remission

161118

161118
$c ain’t no education

I hate all Trojans, rich and tanned
But most of all, I hate their band
They play the only song they know
It’s so boring and fucking slow
They march like Nazis on parade
I wish their mothers had been spayed
When Bruins win and our team cheers
They’ll goosestep home with Trojan tears

161116

161116
Hurricane strength haiku

Two eternal truths
UCLA is the best
$C fucking sucks

161114

161114
Rally Committee Wheeee!!!

Rallies, air horns, and card shows
Rally Comm has all of those
But they’re missing just one thing
That big bell we used to ring
Rose Bowl is the place to be
This week when we Beat $C!

161111

161111
We have no hair please do not stare

Don’t be appalled
Our heads are bald
We shaved them tight
To fight our fight

161109

161109
We will, but I don’t know how

As I watched last night, a feeling inside
Of eternal hope had suddenly died
I woke up this morn, like everyday
But not knowing how to make it okay
I write you this rhyme, while holding back tears
Determined to last through the next four years

161107

161107
Almost over

Tomorrow, it will be done
Tomorrow, we’ll see who won
If she wins, she’ll be the first
If he wins, he’ll be the worst

161104

161104
HRC is GR8!

It isn’t too late
To stop all the hate
And succumb to fate
She’s better than great!

161102

161102
Preventing Trumpageddon

Though one week away
I’m voting today
I just got to say
The Jizztrumpet is a racist, sexist, misogynistic,
homophobic, xenophobic, islamaphobic, tiny fingered,
Cheeto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon who wants
you to pay his taxes for him so he can build a
wall that Mexico will not pay for and gain
access to the nuclear codes while he’s
grabbing a pussy with one hand and jerking
off Putin with the other
To prevent doomsday
Please do not delay
Go vote the right way