Downward farting dog

Brownie has a dootie
Brewing in his booty
Though he is my buddy
His stench is real cruddy
What is in his belly
That could be so smelly?
Maybe it’s the fish skin
That he had for din-din
Now my nose is smarting
“Brownie please stop farting!
Your ass gas is rotten
Go and get to squattin’!”


Last time he ran was for President

Into the school he would have run
He said he wouldn’t need a gun
Both cops and students he’s maligned
Jizztrumpet’s lost his fucking mind


And young lesbian love

I finished binge watching “Everything Sucks”
It was so 90’s, it had “Mighty Ducks”
My favorite part was watching Luke’s mom
Dating a white nerd she thought was the bomb


Wakanda forever

Wakanda is cool
Bald women with spears are hot
Black Panther is great


Or wear your socks to bed

Chilly nights get awfully lonely
When you’ve lost your one and only
So that you don’t feel defeated
Make sure that your bed is heated



Scott and I played many games
Pairs, Loot Letter, and Codenames
Clank! and Lords of Waterdeep
Now it’s time to go to sleep


She cho-cho-chose me!

Friday night – a twist of fate
We met on a crazy date
She gave me a better life
I asked her to be my wife
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
Nine short years went by too fast
Our true love was meant to last
My lover and my best friend
Cancer got her in the end
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine
I miss her all night and day
Feeling pain in every way
Sweetie Pea will always be
In my heart eternally
I am hers, and she is mine
My forever valentine


They make more money than me

First day at new job
My pets are my coworkers
And they brought donuts


My job is packing now

Today’s my last day at my job
But you won’t hear me cry or sob
I wasn’t happy working here
I won’t miss this dead end career
From here on out, I don’t have work
I won’t have chores or tasks to shirk
But I’ve no time to mess and play
In two short months, I move away


I hope it rains!

He wants a wall and ICE to raid
Jizztrumpet craves a yuge parade
He needs to hear a fusillade
While his supporters drink Kool-Aid


Now we’re all poor – LOL

Listen to the bankers bawling
Rich people are caterwauling
All because the Dow Jones falling
My broke ass just sits here lolling


Fuck the Patriots!

We’re not Philly fans
But this Sunday, we all say
“Fuck the Patriots!”

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