Wanna tap me?

Took a shower
For an hour
Had to scour
With my power
Now I’m neater
Than St. Peter
And I’m sweeter
By the liter


She got her man

A Mountie that lived in Regina
Mail ordered a young groom from China
She thought she’d be nice
By cooking him rice
And serving it from her vagina


Thick, arrogant prick

Hogan’s sorry he got caught
Is he sorry? Not a lot!
He still claims he did no wrong
That is why we say “SO LONG!”


Color me bad

Do bronze prawns wear long johns?
A black yak might blow his stack
A blue gnu would be cuckoo
A pink mink would make you think
A teal seal would be unreal
A peach leech – you must impeach


How many weeks was he minister? Fore!

An eejit named Dara Calleary
Went golfing in Galway – my deary
Our very strict rules
Are flaunted by fools
This government’s making us weary


Ellen’s wet ass precipitation

Red, orange, yellow
Warnings all over the place
I hope Cork can float


Proximity paralysis

I can call you on the phone
But I still feel all alone
We could maybe even zoom
But you’re not here in this room
We could have a meal to share
But you’re not here ’cause you’re there
But the thing I really fear
Is if you were really here


Voting in 9 x 9 days!

The Senator Kamala Harris
With Biden – they will not embarrass
The US of A
Which as of today
Is laughed at in Seoul, Rome, and Paris


Crazy about Kamala

Deck the polls I’m voting Biden
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Goodbye Pence, and also bye Don
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la
Harris will be a great VP
Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la, Ka-ma-la
Now for sure a blue wave we’ll see
Ka-ma-la-la-la, Ka-ma-la-la


Sun is best!

Nothing beats a sunny day
Better than the wet and grey
Better than a March with hail
Better than a gusty gale
Better than an April rain
Better than a snowy plain
Better than a windy May
Better than a foggy bay
Better than a gloomy June
Better than the stars and moon
Better than a hot July
Better than a darkened sky
Don’t know what more I can say
Nothing beats a sunny day


Chunder bringer of thunder!

Now Bingo has gone on hiatus
He’ll come back again as the greatest
Soon he’ll polymorph
Until then this dwarf
A druid named Chunder my latest


He has a pointless point of view

There’s no place in the world for this angry old man
With his thousands of lies and his dumb TikTok ban
He abuses his post, this abuse his downfall
His legacy’s broke like that Mexico wall
And he’s proud as a peacock ’cause he’s a mob boss
And he struggles with facts his soul is a loss
And we’d liked to be rid of this angry old man


The small woman

My tinkerer in Gloomhaven
Was a modest, moxie maven
She gave her coins to the Great Oak
And got some blessings to invoke
Her hardwork did unlock the Saw
And now retires with scant hoopla
She battled through a twelve game slog
I say goodbye to An Bhean Bheag

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