Snack attack

Popcorn is a treat
Unless it’s stuck in your teeth
Then it causes woe


It could be worse

Remember a long time ago
We met R2 and 3PO
Obi Wan had a bad feeling
Lando did some double dealing
We all know Han took the first shot
As Yoda said, “Do or do not”
He also said, “There is no try”
Important words for a Jedi
Vader sent Ben to his defeat
And now the circle is complete
Luke’s upside down in an ice cave
Leia looks hot dressed as a slave
My armor doesn’t look like Fett’s
I think I have Star Wars Tourette’s


Another proud brain surgeon

Trojans thought they had a hero
Turns out he’s a total zero
He didn’t jump to save his kin
He made it up, and that’s a sin


2,680 miles later…

The trip is done
There’s no more fun
Wipe off that smirk
It’s back to work


Sadly we weren’t scared

We stayed in a hotel in Ryde
People say there are ghosts inside
Spectral encounters are implied
I think it’s ’cause a hooker died
It’s creep factor was bona fide
But spooky times we were denied


Road to everywhere

Before we went on vacation
I felt tied to the whipping post
Mostly due to my vocation
Then we drove up and down the coast
This trip has been a lot of fun
Despite driving for ten long days
Our personal Cannonball Run
We’ve seen so much I’m in a daze


Also a fox!

We saw a cougar at Lake Quinault
On the north shore road without asphalt
We viewed from afar
Inside our safe car
We’ll store that in out memory vault


Portland’s hangover cure

We got six donuts from Voodoo
First we ate one to break our fast
We had our second for lunch too
Then for dessert we ate the last


San Francisco Bay Blues

Last night at the Stick, we saw Paul
Beatles and Wings – he played it all
From Blackbird to Band on the Run
Jean and I had a lot of fun
Let it Be and Live and Let Die
So awesome we were Hi, Hi, Hi
Maybe I’m Amazed, but I’ll say
That was fucking great Yesterday


North bound and down

We’re driving to Canada and back
Our clothes are crammed into a knapsack
At 5 o’clock I left the station
That’s when we started our vacation


Carpe diem

You made our sides split
Even though you hurt inside
Rest in peace Robin


Blame it on the guy before

Have you ever smelled a smell
Like some demon dark and fell?
Did a vulture die in here?
This might linger for a year
Like an abattoir of death
Worse than garlic, onion breath
I think it was chorizo
That made the bathroom smell so


Let’s burn Atlanta just to be safe

As frightening as the Ayatollah
A dude in Atlanta has Ebola
The CDC has this man in a bed
Like the beginning of The Walking Dead
While they do their best to stop the outbreak
It’s hard to be sure the threat’s real or fake
I don’t know if it’s the end or prologue
But I’m getting a crossbow and a hog


Hoochie mama is not dressing for success

Don’t wear that for your interview
I shouldn’t see that much of you
I’m trying not to be a grouch
But comfy does not mean to slouch
The kids these days just blow my mind
You’d think that jobs aren’t hard to find
There’s not a lot of work out there
So do a little to prepare


Bobcats, turkeys and deer, oh my!

Playing games and watching bands
Hiking over arid lands
Stalking bobcats through the trees
Enjoying a gentle breeze
Watching movies with my gal
Helps to improve my morale
Though we try to make them last
Weekends go by much too fast


Liars? Lawyers? What’s the difference?

The GOP is causing drama
They think that they can sue Obama
For not enforcing Obamacare
A bill they don’t even think is fair
I can’t believe the hypocrisy
This only proves liars run DC

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