181031

181031
Touch-A, Touch-A, Touch Me

While I’m handing out the candy
Rocky Horror makes me randy
Sweets and treats for all the kiddies
As I stare at Janet’s titties

181029

181029
Can’t wait to drink it in!

A Nice Cup of Tea
AKA Alubari
The best game at Spiel

181026

181026
German dungeon porn

There once was a fräulein from Essen
Who wanted to teach men a lesson
She said she liked boys
And all of their toys
But as it turns out she was messin’

181024

181024
Everyone there is so happy to be there

Soon I will be there in Essen
Queueing for a board game lesson
Richard, Tony, Matt and Uwe
Will show we their new games to play
Blackout: Hong Kong, Carpe Diem
I will buy ’em when I see ’em
So much playing and more buying
Pretty sure my wallet’s crying

181022

181022
It might help

The States are not United
And Britain isn’t Great
The world is more divided
So, I’ll just masturbate

181019

181019
His first mate would jangle and jingle

There once was a captain from Dingle
Who always was ready to mingle
Each brave cabin boy
Would bring him great joy
When timbers would shiver he’d tingle

181017

181017
Slán Abhaile

A visit from my old pal Scott
And he is here with Lana too
I’ve shown them all Kilkenny’s got
But now they have to bid adieu

181015

181015
Heady haiku

The fair dahlia
Elegant and dignified
Signifying change

181012

181012
This happened out in the Canaries

There was a ship captain from Skerries
Naïve like a typical Aries
She asked him to show
To bramble he’d go
And rummage for his twig and berries

181010

181010
My vision vault is never blank

I know I’m prone to being frank
If TMI, give me a spank
But there are times when this old Yank
Has visions saved up in my bank
Of past lovers I’d like to thank
Or boobies squeezed into a tank
And when my engine’s set to crank
I give myself a blissful wank

181008

181008
Good grief!

There is a grief that I don’t mind
The kind you give won’t be declined
The kind I have is not OK
I want to give it all away

181005

181005
His own fields were barren or fallow

There once was a fella from Mallow
Who was without depth and quite shallow
No lass good enough
His pillow he’d fluff
And into it wank with beef tallow

181003

181003
Every word is insincere

Lifetime judge his dream career
And he really likes his beer
He’s unhinged that is quite clear
She has lived a life of fear
Jizztrumpet will taunt and jeer
Rabid fans did clap and cheer
When will this all disappear?
Hope he chokes on his next beer

181001

181001
There’s a light in the darkness of everybody’s life

I get in bed, turn off the light
And miss the things we did at night
I miss the cuddles and the spoons
So I turn on her favorite tunes
The sound of music in my ears
Helps to reduce the constant tears
I cannot sleep, try as I might
I’m not ok, but I’m alright