Peanut butter fish

Jellyfish jellyfish
Laying on the sand
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my hand
Jellyfish jellyfish
Dying in this heat
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my feet
Jellyfish jellyfish
Sitting on the rock
Jellyfish jellyfish
Please don’t sting my cock



I like Fish Heads by Art and Artie
I play that song at every party
The lyrics are dumb
I eat them up yum
They’re nutritious, healthy and hearty


Not fade away

His hands and feet
Would keep the best
The brilliant Charlie Watts
The stones we toss
Now gather moss
Forever in our thoughts


Fucking Dumb Asses!

Says its OK
So get your fucking shot today!


Happy Birthday Linc!

I have a cat, his name is Linc
His fur is soft and black as ink
His claws are sharp, his butthole pink
Around the house he likes to slink
Then disappears before I blink
He thinks that Brownie is a fink
He likes to make his boxes stink
His antics push me to the brink
So, twice a month I see a shrink
That little shit drives me to drink


Bad poetry day

To some folks, my poems are shitty
They’re rude, vile and stupid – not witty
They say that my drawings ain’t pretty
More worthy of scorn, not your pity
It’s fine that some find it offensive
I used to get moody and pensive
Then lash out because I’m defensive
My therapy bills were expensive
But now when my poems are hated
I won’t feel so low and deflated
The reason I’m now liberated?
Bad poetry is celebrated!


Please, no wagering

Is life a competition
Or just an exhibition?
I don’t need your permission
To write this composition
Expose my exposition?
Oppose your opposition!
These lines are an admission
I’m not a word magician
I have no inhibition
With thought to page transmission
My rhyming repetition
And drawing demolition
Might nurture nerve nutrition
And intellect ignition
To wrap up this submission
My prose and picture mission
Will come to its fruition
With global recognition
A well-to-do patrician
And songs by a musician


Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th

Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent


Why not…?

What if Marvel made a series
Based on fans’ obsessive queries?
They could tell the same old fables
But some change would turn the tables
The Hulk is tame and not a brute
A talking raccoon says, “I’m Groot!”
And Iron Man’s not built by Stark
Instead he makes a copper shark!
Nick Fury’s still a super spy
His patch is on his other eye!
And baldy Watcher shows the diff
You know they’d call that show What If…?


Spam egg sausage and spam

Check your spam, check your spam
Yes, of course I sent it ma’am
We have problems sending emails
And I swear it’s not a scam
Yes, I did – I don’t kid
I will bet you twenty quid
Though it was marked as suspicious
My email was not malicious
Open it, take a chance
I assure you in advance
You must have a real careful filter program
Go on, and check your folder
Just do as I told ya
Check your spam, oui your spam, check your spam!


I will have you – yes, I will have you

I love sipping on iced chai lattes
The perfect drink on those real hot days
It’s cool and it’s sweet
An afternoon treat
If I could I’d guzzle them always


Also… people suck

Why am I raging?
While sadness is part of loss
Anger is grief too


And whatever else comes out of mammals

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Brownie’s main love
Is smelling poo

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