Cemetery girls

Well werewolf girls are chic
I really dig their fuzzy hair
And the vampire girls with the way they neck
They’ll wipe your mind with just a stare
The witches and their daughters
Always make you scream all night
And the mummy girls with the way they hug
They tie their daddies up real tight
I wish they all could be cemetery
I wish they all could be cemetery
I wish they all could be cemetery girls


Bats fly when you’re having fun

At midnight tonight
My birthday month is over
Then it’s spooky time!


Zombie céilí

Everybody scream
Everybody yell
This is not a dream
It’s a scene from hell
Zombies are dancing at Copper Face Jacks
Not a single mask – not a single vax
Everybody dance
At the zombie rave
Crawling in a trance
From their fresh dug grave
Zombies are dining at Copper Face Jacks
They are eating fronts – they are eating backs
If you value life
Everybody run
Get yourself a knife
Get yourself a gun
Zombies are killing at Cooper Face Jacks
They’re hunting alone and roaming in packs


He has so much updog

There once was a vampire named Colin
His energy draining was ballin’
His weapon of choice
A monotone voice
Got everyone’s head to start lollin’


Pumpkin pawing period

October can be hideous
When ghosts and goblins pity us
Be sure to make the pixies proud
By showing them you are endowed
With mighty gourds and giant squash
They’ll love your swagger and panache
So go and grab that orange butt
But wait to make the deepest cut


Beddy-bye time to die

There once was a nightmare named Freddy
Who always had blades at the ready
And every night
When kids would sleep tight
He’d stab them right through their stuffed teddy


Not all adventures need dice

A castle up the old north road
An eerie, sinister abode
A brave but sad elf was our host
He said his wife was now a ghost
We wondered why she took her life
What caused this human so much strife?
It seems our host would leave for years
She found a man to stem the tears
But when her husband reappeared
Her lover fled – the worst was feared
She had two loves, but neither one
Was there to love, so she had none
She tried to leave but when she died
Her spirit was forever tied
The host asked us to do our best
To put the lady’s soul to rest
So we asked him to tell his tale
He did and cried a mournful wail
His spectral wife then felt his love
No longer chained, she flew above
No weapon drawn, no spell was cast
But we had done what we were asked


Captain Trips

It’s exactly how
The Stand by Stephen King starts


This is how Frankenstein started

Outside it rains as hard as fuck
Inside the house all day I’m stuck
My cabin fever runs amok
Dreary November sure does suck


Begone ye demon doggie!!!

I walk into an unlit room
My heart races – it fills with gloom
The floorboard squeaks – I catch my breath
The air is filled with rotting death
What horror lurks? What demon near?
I reach my hand trembling with fear
And switch the light to see what’s there
It’s just a farting Brownie Bear


He slashes – he scores!

When there’s a full moon
And it’s Friday the 13th
Jason plays hockey


Ate legs good – eight legs bad

Creepy crawly – big and hairy
Eight legs skitter – really scary
Thought it might attack my kitty
Or cause havoc in the city
Then it bolted into laundry
Which causes this queasy quandary
Should the pile go in the drier
Or just set the house on fire?


Spoilers in 5-7-5

Winterfell fallen
Murder Girl killed Zombie King
Undead now deader


It’s about to get Irish as fuck

Leaves are turning brown
It’s autumn in Kilkenny
I’m a bit frightened


You’re my boo

Halloween is drawing near
Soon will be the time for fear
Through the thrift stores I do tear
Gotta find something to wear!



Dark Tower off in the distance
Without it there’s no existence
Gunslinger protects the tower
Man in Black has eldritch power
Jake Chambers mid-world explorer
Stephen King writes more than horror
Jean and I are constant readers
My excitement might exceed hers


Expand your terror!

There is a house upon the hill
The quickest glance can bring a chill
My friends and I answered a call
But that grim house betrayed us all
We searched the manse from room to room
Until we found unending doom
Try as I might, I cannot block
The horrors of the Widow’s Walk!


Stop clowning around

Creepy forests outside of towns
Are stomping grounds for grotesque clowns
Feelings hidden by extreme paint
Pallid makeup will make kids faint
The balloons float to draw you near
Then they show up to instill fear
Scaring children and adults too
Coming soon to forests near you!


This one goes to Eleven

Dungeons and Dragons is a game
No two adventures are the same
If demogorgon is your foe
The Dungeon Master’s not your bro
You try to cast a fireball
But rolling seven’s your downfall
When armed with rocks and wrist-bound slings
You may encounter Stranger Things



These once was a ghost named Diana
To hide in the dark was her plan-a
Exposed to the light
She started to fight
But lost and was not top banana


Boris sent me

Vampires give a fright
Because they might bite
The poor ol’ mummy
His wardrobe’s crummy
Zombies don’t like grains
They’d rather eat brains
Invisible Man?
I’m not a big fan
Wolf man is scary
He’s so damn hairy
The Overlook’s ghost
Is not a good host
The creature has gills
He gives me the chills
I do not like ghouls
They’re grave robbing fools
Doc Victor is mean
His lab is not clean
His monster is green
He hates Halloween!


The haunted haiku

You remembered how
To kill the floating specter
And then you forgot


Black cats are slimming

On a Friday, in Kentucky
Thirteen black cats are unlucky
Farmer Brown could not be fatter
So he fell off of his ladder
Safely indoors the poor fella
Opened up a plaid umbrella
Then his daughter broke a mirror
As the black cats skittered nearer
Unaware of superstitions
They were shot with Brown’s munitions
Poor black cats they only wanted
To warn that the house was haunted


Season’s greetings from Arkham

Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving
Your green appendages are near,
You bring about such dread and fear
Oh Cthulhu, Oh Cthulhu!
Thy tentacles are moving!


We beat the blind idiot god

We filled our co-op gaming itch
With a horror that is eldritch
Azathoth was the Great Old One
Jim went insane, but we weren’t done
By solving the third mystery
The Outer God was history


They’re scary cute

Here’s a tale that’s kind of spooky
We see ghosts that look like Mookie
And the phantoms sing a chorus
That remind us of ol’ Morris
The specters are pretty funky
They’re not impressed, just like Monkee
Our old kitties haunt us somehow
We get goosebumps when they meow


Robot cowboy princes

Every day is game day
‘Cause gamers want to play
Shuffling cards, rolling dice
Pushing pawns, moving mice
From farming to sci fi
No theme in short supply
Zombie ninja wizards
Fighting pirate lizards
Horror to fantasy
It beats watching TV


Annabelle is creepy

She is not swell
Her dress egg shell
She makes me yell
Doll dark and fell
So Annabelle
Should go to hell


Sadly we weren’t scared

We stayed in a hotel in Ryde
People say there are ghosts inside
Spectral encounters are implied
I think it’s ’cause a hooker died
It’s creep factor was bona fide
But spooky times we were denied


Howard Phillips <3 Craft

Hallowe’en in a Suburb
By H. P. Lovecraft

The steeples are white in the wild moonlight,
And the trees have a silver glare;
Past the chimneys high see the vampires fly,
And the harpies of upper air,
That flutter and laugh and stare.

For the village dead to the moon outspread
Never shone in the sunset’s gleam,
But grew out of the deep that the dead years keep
Where the rivers of madness stream
Down the gulfs to a pit of dream.

A chill wind weaves thro’ the rows of sheaves
In the meadows that shimmer pale,
And comes to twine where the headstones shine
And the ghouls of the churchyard wail
For harvests that fly and fail.

Not a breath of the strange grey gods of change
That tore from the past its own
Can quicken this hour, when a spectral pow’r
Spreads sleep o’er the cosmic throne
And looses the vast unknown.

So here again stretch the vale and plain
That moons long-forgotten saw,
And the dead leap gay in the pallid ray,
Sprung out of the tomb’s black maw
To shake all the world with awe.

And all that the morn shall greet forlorn,
The ugliness and the pest
Of rows where thick rise the stones and brick,
Shall some day be with the rest,
And brood with the shades unblest.

Then wild in the dark let the lemurs bark,
And the leprous spires ascend;
For new and old alike in the fold
Of horror and death are penn’d,
For the hounds of Time to rend.


Too much bedtime Lovecraft

Around midnight, I go to sleep
Into my dream, terrors do creep
Panic and fear begin to spread
There’s a creature under my bed!
His skin is red; his eyes are black
He’s giving me a heart-attack!
I cannot run, his filthy fists
Have grabbed my feet; he grabbed my wrists!
He’s the reason for my nightmares
I try to scream but no one cares!
Though I’m half-mad from all the fright
I thrash about with all my might
Then I awake, weak and weary
I’m soaked with sweat; eyes are bleary
My head feels strange and new to me
Was that a dream or fantasy?

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