Tag: TV

210212

210212
Cara dún do bhéal

There once was a fighter named Gina
A warrior born like Athena
But her hateful gob
Cost her a cool job
I hope she’s replaced by fair Xena

201223

201223
Seinfeld >>> Friends

It’s Christmas Eve Eve
Also known as Festivus
Thanks 90’s TV

200916

200916
Bet they smell it in New Delhi

Watching Netflix on the telly
Linc is kneading on my belly
Brownie’s farts are awful smelly
Does my lifestyle make you jelly?

It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Look back on the Christmas lights (which Linc broke)
The tears that I cried
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side
Oh! This is the doggie that Jean and I chose
Oh! This little doggie has such a cute nose
Oh! He runs at full speed along the chain fence
Oh! Brownie’s motherfucking head is immense
Oh! When out on a walk – don’t care where he goes
Oh! His head is so big, I think it still grows
Oh! The rest of the doggies don’t wear their leads
He runs through weeds, eating the seeds
That’s what Brownie Bear needs
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
Afterwards he takes a quick doze
It’s always nice, it’s always nice
When it’s time for dinner he knows
He wants a nice treat
He wants his rawhide
Still, it’s always nice, it’s always nice
To have Brownie Bear at my side

200515

200515
That sore on his lip was a canker

This fella from Cork was a banker
He got a tattoo of an anchor
He thought it was cool
But that fucking fool
His mom told him – “You’re still a wanker!”

200424

200424
That flick with his tail – quite a tricky

There once was a rodent named Mickey
Who asked Minnie Mouse for a quickie
She laughed in his face
That being the case
He banged Betty Boop with his dickey

200228

200228
The media peddle fear

If their temperature is high
Write them off as they’ll soon die
If they have a runny nose
Leave before they decompose
If they blast out splashing poo
There’s a duty you should do
If you hear somebody cough
You should drown them in a trough
If you see somebody sneeze
Kill and bury quickly please
If you think they sniffled snot
You should end them with one shot
If this sounds a tad severe
Media has stoked this fear

191223

191223
That must have been some doll

I really hope this Festivus
Brings good cheer for the rest of us
I’ll win the feats of strength no doubt
And grievances may get aired out
But there’s no hate around my pole
While Black Pete brings you lumps of coal
There had to be another way
And Festivus became that day
Remember in just two days time
The Christmas bells will start to chime
For peace on earth, goodwill to all
Who bought their son a lovely doll

191030

191030
Scariest TV family

They sling a lot of mucky
They’re awful and they’re sucky
They’re altogether yucky
Jizztrumpet family
Dad’s skin could use some bleaching
His kids are good at leaching
I’m hoping for impeaching
Jizztrumpet family
Tweet
Tweet
Retweet
Pelosi is a calling
The house of cards is falling
I hope to see them bawling
Jizztrumpet family

191011

191011
He’s plain batty

There once was a villain named Joker
Who was bad and not mediocre
He made people smile
Then killed them with style
While wearing a vest that was ochre

191009

191009
Especially up top

I’m binging Star Trek
TOS and TNG
Picard outshines Kirk

190927

190927
Typical Friday

Stomach rumbles, need to hurry
Gonna go and eat a curry
Swallow it and now I’m groovy
Time for wine and Netflix movie

190503

190503
Spoilers in 5-7-5

Winterfell fallen
Murder Girl killed Zombie King
Undead now deader

190429

190429
That’s all you got for GoT

Want to talk of Winterfell
Want to cry and want to yell
But I do not want to spoil
That might get your blood to boil
Four more days is all you got
Friday I reveal the plot

190325

190325
Sex, cats and robots

Love, Death and Robots
Part Black Mirror meets Hentai
Part Heavy Metal

190215

190215
I’ll boldly go!

A red-head on Star Trek named Tilly
Is brainy and friendly and silly
At first a cadet
Then Klingon War vet
She gives we warp nine in my willy

190204

190204
There’s always next year

Sportsball isn’t fun
The Patriots won
New England is glad
The rest of us sad
Old England won too
The green boys are blue
The cats got a loss
Jizztrumpet’s still boss
This world is all wrong
Let’s toke on this bong

190109

190109
Stick Person Poetry: Bandersnatch

Limerick……….Haiku

……….The toves were slithy
……….The borogoves were mimsy
……….And mome raths outgrabe

Both Dee and Dum Tweedle were rotund
The frumious Bandersnatch was shunned
With a swift attack
A snicker and snack
The slain Jabberwock left them quite stunned

180928

180928
Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

There once was an agent named Lana
A hottie – as hot as a sauna
Though he held out hope
She told Archer “Nope!”
Her danger zone was his nirvana

180919

180919
Toad is a dick!

Raphael has a pointy sai
Captain Mal has a Firefly
GI Joe has a kung fu grip
Jizztrumpet has a mushroom tip
Ms Pac-Man has a cute hair bow
These are things that I can’t unknow

180629

180629
#Fireland

I can’t believe it’s so damn hot
A good day to be on a yacht
This island cannot take this heat
It’s used to burning gas and peat
There’s no AC, and I’ve no fan
I’m one big, sweaty, melted man
There’s no more water from the sink
I guess I’ll go back on the drink

180620

180620
He kept it well stocked with grape jelly

There was an old drunkard named Kelly
Whose clothes were so soiled they were smelly
In his dressing gown
To stay sitting down
He put his fridge under the telly

180305

180305
Subpoena Sam

There is a Sam under subpoena
Who’s crazier than a hyena
He’s either a drunk
Or Roger Stone’s punk
He needs to flee to Argentina

180223

180223
And young lesbian love

I finished binge watching “Everything Sucks”
It was so 90’s, it had “Mighty Ducks”
My favorite part was watching Luke’s mom
Dating a white nerd she thought was the bomb

180205

180205
Now we’re all poor – LOL

Listen to the bankers bawling
Rich people are caterwauling
All because the Dow Jones falling
My broke ass just sits here lolling

171129

171129
We are America’s HR Dept!!!

In big business you get fired
In Hollywood you get fired
In media you get fired
In publishing you get fired
At CBS you get fired
At House of Cards you get fired
At MPR you get fired
At NBC you get fired
No matter what has transpired
In Politics you get hired