210705
Mine and mine alone
You might know a bit about me
But a leaf is not the whole tree
I don’t need your analytics
I don’t need to hear from critics
I don’t want to hear your hot take
What do you know ’bout my heartache?
I decide when I am ready
When I’m ready to go steady
210702
A wee bit of divil in her
A handsome young devil named Kevin
Took hundreds of women to heaven
When his dick got straight
It far surpassed eight
And went all the way to eleven
210630
Zip zop wop boopity bop
The DA did agree
And that’s the argument
Bill Cosby might be free
But he’s not innocent
210628
Late night – late light
Not to worry yet
The days are getting shorter
But it’s light at 10
210625
He crushed his enemies
There once was a quipster named Conan
Who certainly lacked melatonin
But night after night
With all of his might
He helped to produce serotonin
210623
Nap lap trap
Linc nestles into my lap
Just so he can take a nap
As the hours fly on by
I might be stuck here till July
210621
Happy yoga day
I want to go to Rome in Italia
But you have to dress the part
And I don’t look good wearing a toga
T-O-G-A, toga
I have to lose some weight, so I sat on a rug
I reached for my toes
‘Cause I’m gonna try to do some Yoga
Y-O-G-A, yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I’m not the world’s most flexible guy
But when I bent my back I nearly broke my spine
Fuckin’ yoga!
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I’m not dumb, but I can’t understand
How people touch their toes
Just by reaching their hand
Fuckin’ yoga!
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Well, I bent, posed, stretched and strained all night
But still my hamstring’s just too tight
I stood straight up, and then went on my knees
And demonstrated how an old dog pees
Well, I’m not the world’s most dexterous man
But I know what I am and I’m just a fat man
Who can’t do Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
Yo-yo-yo-yo Yoga
210618
A yankee is a quickie when you’re alone
This dork who would cheer for the Yankees
Would fill all his pockets with hankies
When there was no doubt
He’d whip a cloth out
And celebrate with a few wankees
210616
It’s a win-wank
I want to travel since I can
But lack of money stops that plan
I have few skills for making bank
But I’m a pro at wink and wank
This talent solves my money plans
I’m gonna start an OnlyFans
210614
Covid tunnel syndrome
After months of isolation
My fertile imagination
And futile infatuation
Leads to frequent masturbation
210611
You put your right one in…
I’m watching a show about Loki
Some think he’s as tasty as gnocchi
They would take it out
And shake it about
In order to do Loki pokey
210609
Second jab is Saturday
Listing my imagination
After second vaccination
I can take a plane to Cali
Or go hike the Great Rift Valley
I can visit my relations
Hug and touch to feel sensations
See the Dead in Sarasota
Or twine ball in Minnesota
I can go to Spain and Quito
Searching for the best burrito
I can play games at conventions
Smoke weed and explore dimensions
I can have a pint of cider
I can put my tip inside her
I might burst just like a geyser
After second jab of Pfizer
210607
Walk Brownie walk
Walked with Brownie really far
Walked downtown past Ryan’s Bar
We walked past outdoor cafes
People basking in sunrays
We saw shops with fish and meat
Brownie thought he’d earned a treat
We walked past the new skate park
And small dogs that always bark
We walked past a donut shop
Brownie wouldn’t let me stop
We saw people all around
Life returning to this town
We crossed bridges here and there
I walked far with Brownie Bear
210604
Happy 53 Sweetie Pea
If Sweetie Pea
Was here with me
She too would be 53
I shed a tear
‘Cause she’s not here
49 again this year
210602
Happy Pride 2021!!!!!!!!!
I love the gays, I love the bis
I love the queers of every size
I love all types of lesbians
Especially my gamer friends
I love the trans and aces too
I love the pans and they love you
I did not always think this way
I thought it weird if you were gay
I used to yell such horrid names
And then I learned my brother James
Was gay and so were all his friends
I’ve done my best to make amends
I love all love in all its forms
And if this is against your norms
Then I won’t wait to disavow
I’m proud to be an ally now
210531
Did you notice?
If there is no poetry
Will they even notice?
If there are no posts from me
Will they even notice?
If no games or LEGO bricks
Will they even notice?
If no left wing politics
Will they even notice?
If no Linc or Brownie Bear
Will they even notice?
If no pix of COVID hair
Will they even notice?
If I shave off my goatee
Will they even notice?
Will I write this poetry
Just so you will notice?
210528
Don’t bogart those plums
I’ll tell you the tale of Miss Humphrey
Who gorged herself on a packed plum tree
She ran to the loo
Got stuck as she blew
Then struggled to get her big bum free
210526
Even my darkest night
It’s nice when a friend reaches out
No matter what it is about
A message, a card or a call
No matter how big or how small
Each time that it happens I grin
No matter how long it has been
They took the time to call or send
It matters that they are my friend
210524
A message to you, Rudy
“You are very rude”
She wrote to me, I replied
“I get that a lot”
210521
Too much time
A mistress just outed her pastor
His love life is now a disaster
He’s changed up his plans
For laying on hands
At bation he’ll soon be a master
210519
Birthday bear hugs
Happy birthday to Louise
You should do all that you please
Drink white wine, and eat sharp cheese
Teach the world like Socrates
Celebrate your expertise
Hope you get an ursine squeeze
210517
And ever, ramen!
When I’ve done something that’s rotten
But my friends have all forgotten
When I argue and won’t give in
And my friends have all forgiven
Ask if I’m wrong, they say never
I keep friends like that forever
210514
Dapper fapper
The dandy who dressed rather spiffy
Requested relief in a jiffy
His quaintrelle masseuse
Did swiftly deduce
His stress was contained in his stiffy
210512
That text was better than sext
I’ve been stressed out to the max
Then I got some hopeful news
I’ve been scheduled for the vax
That has brightened up my blues
210507
At the Y I’ll dine
It’s almost nine
I’m out of wine
These guys are mine
I’m feeling fine
210505
Sinko de Trumpo
From Facebook, Twitch and Twitter
Jizztrumpet is still banned
His absence makes me titter
Good people think it’s grand
On many social websites
His antics aren’t allowed
He now continues his fights
By yelling at a cloud
210503
Bill Gates’ loss might be my gain
Melinda, I see you’re soon single
I am too if you want to mingle
I don’t have as much cash as Billy
While he’s smart, I’m simple and silly
You’ve had a nerd with piles of money
You should try one who’s broke and funny
If you want a goofball who’s humble
Swipe right on me when you’re on Bumble
210430
Feel his burning love!
A cleric named Abzan Farnese
When burning things sure wasn’t lazy
He’d torch foes and then
He’d blaze them again
You might say he’s combustion crazy
210428
Can’t get there from here
Four lads in a car
They go down to Cork
They don’t get too far
Turned wrong at the fork
The hotel was wrong
And these hapless men
Did not take too long
To get lost again
They thought as they drove
That they should not roam
To Cork or to Cobh
So far from their home
210426
Concealed in Cork
Someone won the jackpot
Making me a crackpot
They won’t think it’s funny
That I have no money
Since I have no bounty
Better leave the county
