Poems and/or Drawings about Drinking Alcohol and/or getting Drunk.
200518
Phase craze
(18 May)
We’re now in phase one
The phase with no fun
(8 June)
Phase two on June 8
Can visit a mate
(29 June)
And when phase three drops
They’ll open most shops
(20 July)
The next phase is four
We’ll go shore to shore
(10 August)
And lastly phase five
The pubs are alive!!!
200410
What’s good about it?
Good Friday isn’t good
Can’t do the things we should
The end of lent – so what?
The pubs are all still shut!
Can’t hike a single trail
Beyond my 2K pale
Can’t visit with me mates
No piles of food on plates
No Easter eggs to hunt
‘Cause Rona is a cunt
I guess I shouldn’t whine
When most I know are fine
200406
I emptied my cask
I had to shop without a mask
Don’t come near me, that’s all I ask
Then I race home, done with my task
And sterilize with my hip flask
200330
Feel the city breakin’
My kitchen doubles as a pub
My bathroom a salon
My dining room’s a country club
That looks out on my lawn
My bedroom is an office now
My living room a gym
It barely matters anyhow
When everything’s so grim
I used to work from nine to five
To properly provide
But now I work to stay alive
By staying put inside
200309
Tinder tips
Today I was contemplating
If I should share tips for dating
Do not buy whiskey for Clodagh
She only drinks diet soda
You should not argue with Áine
She’ll throw you down and sit on ya
Don’t lend your money to Bronagh
She will not pay back one Krona
Be careful if you bang Fiadh
She gave a “friend” gonorrhea
Hope this did not make you sleepy
Why does it hurt when I peepee?
200224
What is the range for Uber Eats?
This hunger might seem kind of silly
But I am craving Tommy’s chili
I want to nom it by the gallon
I blame it all on drinks with Alan
200221
Using his pin to pull
There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
A pioneer – horny and cheery
“A lad on the sauce
Is pushing with floss
That’s why I drink chai tea my deary”
200212
Escaping with games
When it’s this cold, I’d rather hide
Under warm throws and stay inside
But I love games, so once a week
I revel in my outer geek
Into the pub, I jitterbug
And slide into a cozy snug
I have a pint and see my mates
We roll some dice and curse our fates
I do not keep a record sheet
Of all the times I taste defeat
While victories are always fun
I feel like I’ve already won
200110
Ask your doctor if boner juice is right for you
There is a first mate in Balbriggan
Who got his balls caught in the riggin’
Now he cannot blast
Or get to full mast
Unless boner juice he is swiggin’
191230
You say, “Stop” but I say, “Go, go, go”
At midnight the bells will be ringing
Of course Auld Lang Syne we’ll be singing
I hope that the new year is bringing
Relief to soothe all of the stinging
That 2019 generated
Goodbye to the things that we hated
Hello to the love we’ve awaited
Here’s wishing we’ll all be elated
191225
The first of many
Frosty morning walk
Friends, presents, eating, and drinks
Kilkenny Christmas
191202
Sean-Con 2019
They say you can’t go home again
But I went back and met a friend
A second friend! A third! A fourth!
So many friends I have up north
We played some games and ate good food
Which put me in a happy mood
I had some wine they drank some beer
Can’t wait to do again next year
191021
Poitín > pot of gold
The spooky day will be here soon
I have been hyped since half past June
If you don’t like please don’t impugn
I like black cats, but I’m no loon
And over in this land of green
The treats are good, the tricks aren’t mean
And if you’re nice you’ll get poitín
That’s why I treasure Halloween
190920
She got a little wider
One Friday while drinking a cider
A knock at the door was a spider
She first swallowed me
Then Linc and Brownie
Then all of us lived there inside her
190722
In that order
Get good wine – must imbibe
Get some spam – unsubscribe
Get bad breath – brush my teeth
Get some wood – find relief
190705
Tomorrow let’s all meet again
Party weekend at Ryan’s bar
Let’s celebrate Arthur the star
Been serving drinks for fifteen years
Whole lotta bands – whole lotta beers
Music in front – garden in back
No matter where – there’s always craic
Fiddle, guitar, bodhrán and bass
Looking for fun? This is the place!
190102
Crappy New Year
Some years start off with a bang
Drinking champagne with the gang
Others start off kind of slow
Clean forgot by all you know
Being sick removes all cheer
When you have been sick all year
181224
Happy Xmas 2018!
I wish all days were Christmas Eve
The time of year when we believe
That someday we’ll get peace on earth
And everyone is full of mirth
When kitchens are chock-full of food
And Christmas punch can fix your mood
There’s so much fun, no one will leave
I wish all days were Christmas Eve
181102
Lend me your ear
There once was a painter named Vinny
Who liked models both fat and skinny
He frequented bars
And liked painting stars
Then shot himself just like a ninny
181003
Every word is insincere
Lifetime judge his dream career
And he really likes his beer
He’s unhinged that is quite clear
She has lived a life of fear
Jizztrumpet will taunt and jeer
Rabid fans did clap and cheer
When will this all disappear?
Hope he chokes on his next beer
180926
They enjoyed Kilkenny
Vacation for my mom and dad
A splendid trip I hope they had
We ate and drank and had the craic
They went to Mayo and came back
We toured Kilkenny without rain
But now they’re leaving on a plane
Until I see them in twelve weeks
Ignore the tear stains on my cheeks
180831
Get that man a beer!
There once was a drunkard named Charlie
A fan of the hops and the barley
If he didn’t get
His foam filter wet
He’d end up bad tempered and snarly
180629
#Fireland
I can’t believe it’s so damn hot
A good day to be on a yacht
This island cannot take this heat
It’s used to burning gas and peat
There’s no AC, and I’ve no fan
I’m one big, sweaty, melted man
There’s no more water from the sink
I guess I’ll go back on the drink
180620
He kept it well stocked with grape jelly
There was an old drunkard named Kelly
Whose clothes were so soiled they were smelly
In his dressing gown
To stay sitting down
He put his fridge under the telly
180427
Hey hey hey! You’re a rapist!
For years I laughed at my friend Bill
But then I heard he slipped a pill
Into a pretty lady’s glass
And now that Bill’s a fucking ass
180406
Tickets purchased!
After months of preparation
Packing, waiting, perspiration
Closing date has been decided
Now’s the time to get excited!
180326
So long stuff
The time has come, today’s the day
I’ve packed my stuff, it’s gone away
This empty house, where once was cheer
Is hollow now, without my gear
As I chill with Brownie and Linc
I think of friends, and raise my drink
To Sweetie Pea, I love you most
The sun sets on the Central Coast
171025
Or GenCon or Origins or…
As a game geek, I’m not messin’
Really wish I was in Essen
Charterstone is on the hot list
Gaia Project cannot be missed
Scottish Clans are making whisky
Tony Boydell has some Nice Tea
Transatlantic, Keyper, Merlin
Now my mind cannot stop whirlin’
Altiplano, Codenames: Duet
All my gaming needs would be met
Though my love for games won’t lessen
Really wish I was in Essen
171011
His BAC was doublin’
There once was a young man from Dublin
Who drank all the drinks that were bubblin’
When his blood was checked
His doctor was wrecked
That this man was breathing was troublin’
171004
Me-wow!
There once was a lad from Cork city
Who bought drinks for girls that were pretty
If they owned a cat
He’d go to their flat
And asked if he could pet their kitty
