0621
I <3 my little klutz
Jean and I were on a bog
Then we flew over to Prague
Took a train to Germany
The birthplace of Jean’s Granny
Back to Prague by way of train
Poor Jean’s ankle got a sprain
Hard to walk with such a bruise
So we took a dinner cruise
A gorgeous night with my mate
Caused by a strange twist of fate
0620
Bohemian back sweaty
Humid and hot
We like it not
Sweat on the train
With chance of rain
AC Broken
Dank smell of men
4 hour trip
With constant drip
0618
Traiňs are äwesome
Leaving Prague by way of train
River’s swollen from the rain
Meadows full of red poppies
Hard to see through tall green trees
Fields of hay are cut and rolled
Trolley brings us something cold
Plzeň has a huge train yard
Crossing border with no guard
Now we leave Bohemia
And enter Bavaria
Bug flies in through the window
Jean laughs at how wild I go
I thrash about and kick it
Fräulein punches our ticket
It’s just about half past five
When Regensburg, we arrive
0617
We had a nice stay-o
There once was a woman from Mayo
She would drink every night and day-o
When she hit the town
She’d drink the boys down
And end with a roll in the hay-o
0616
Happy Father’s Day too
Oh, Call it by some better name
By Thomas Moore
Oh, call it by some better name,
For Friendship sounds too cold,
While Love is now a worldly flame,
Whose shrine must be of gold:
And Passion, like the sun at noon,
That burns o’er all he sees,
Awhile as warm will set as soon–
Then call it none of these.
Imagine something purer far,
More free from stain of clay
Than Friendship, Love, or Passion are,
Yet human, still as they:
And if thy lip, for love like this,
No mortal word can frame,
Go, ask of angels what it is,
And call it by that name!
0615
Congrats L&L!
I have a cousin named Laurence May
He’s getting married near Galway
Leanne is his bride
She won’t be denied
A wedding night as fun as the day
0614
We’re in Ireland!
There once was a man from Ballinrobe
Who traveled half way around the globe
To find a hooker
Who could play snooker
While crudely caressing his earlobe
0613
And don’t call me Shirley
We’re leaving on a jet plane
Going to Europe again
Questions floating through my head
Why don’t airplanes have a bed?
Who likes to eat airplane grub?
Should we join the mile high club?
What is the inflight movie?
Either way, it’s all groovy
0612
Vacation’s all I ever wanted
Work is done, I’m on vacation
Off to cousin’s celebration
An Irish Wedding in Galway
Then Czech Republic for short stay
We’ll take a train to Germany
Bavaria is where we’ll be
Back to Prague for a day or three
A long ass flight ends our journey
0611
Almost time for Europe
In the Game of Spanish TV
You air, or you get preempted
I will only assign copy
If my temper is not tempted
0610
Spring can’t come soon enough
Drink your wine and drown in your beer
Game of Thrones is done for the year
Hard to top what happened last week
But Ramsay tries by taunting “Reek”
Tywin and son have a good talk
Balon Greyjoy gets a used cock
Yara sails for the Narrow Sea
Jaime reunites with Cersei
Lord Varys does not impress Shae
Davos helps Gendry get away
Stannis may fight beyond the wall
Dragon Girl is mother to all
Most think that Sansa is last Stark
Arya’s bite is worse than Hound’s bark
Ygritte with her bow and arrow
Points out “You know nothing Jon Snow”
Sam and Gilly find secret door
Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor
0609
Jean’s my golden ticket
I’ve Got a Golden Ticket
By Roald Dahl
I never thought my life could be
Anything but catastrophe
But suddenly I begin to see
A bit of good luck for me
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden twinkle in my eye
I never had a chance to shine
Never a happy song to sing
But suddenly half the world is mine
What an amazing thing
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
It’s ours, Charlie
I’ve got a golden sun up in the sky
I never thought I’d see the day
When I would face the world and say
Good morning, look at the sun
I never thought that I would be
Slap in the lap of luxury’
Cause I’d have said it couldn’t be done
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m
Shortly about to be
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day
Good morning, look at the sun’
Cause I’d have said it couldn’t be done
But it can be done
I never dreamed that I would climb
Over the moon in ecstasy
But nevertheless, it’s there that I’m
Shortly about to be
‘Cause I’ve got a golden ticket’
Cause I’ve got a golden ticket
I’ve got a golden chance to make my way
And with a golden ticket, it’s a golden day
0608
World’s biggest lapdog
Raven really hates fireworks
She’s so scared she loses her mind
The people shooting them are jerks
I want to go kick their behind
0607
It’s all mental masturbation
I have a daily obligation
A day after day irriration
To rhyme and provide illustration
Somedays I have no motivation
While some think about graduation
I ponder my 10-day vacation
But imperfect communication
Contributes to mounting frustration
Clearly I need some fermentation
To bring this mood to a cessation
0606
Take-off zebra baby
Today did not have a hassle
I saw zebras at a castle
Jean delighted my afternoon
So here is a silly cartoon
0605
Happy birthday Sweetie Pea
Happy birthday to the amazing Jean
The sexiest woman I’ve ever seen
Not only pretty, she’s funny and smart
I knew she was a keeper from the start
Our weekends together should never end
I couldn’t ask for a better best friend
0604
Flay the Freys!
There once was a man named Walder Frey
Who massacred on a wedding day
He’s a wretched crank
Who needs a good shank
And his severed head put on display
0603
Nothin’ fair in this world
Hey little Stark boy what do you know?
Hey little Stark boy who is that ho?
Hey little Stark boy in the frying pan
Hey little Stark boy where’s your bannerman?
Hey little Stark boy crossbow
It’s a bad day to break a vow
It’s a bad day for a red wedding
It’s a bad day to break a vow
0602
Share with 42 friends
Vogon Poetry
By Douglas Adams
Oh freddled gruntbuggly,
Thy micturitions are to me,
As plurdled gabbleblotchits,
On a lurgid bee,
That mordiously hath bitled out,
Its earted jurtles,
Into a rancid festering confectious inner-sphincter. [drowned out by moaning and screaming]
Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles,
Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts,
And living glupules frart and slipulate,
Like jowling meated liverslime,
Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turling dromes,
And hooptiously drangle me,
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,
See if I don’t.
0601
Deck building FTW
There once was a game called Dominion
It’s pretty good in my opinion
You play and buy cards
Like moats or courtyards
And win with the help of a minion
0531
Never mind I don’t care
I don’t know why I care when others don’t
I do what is needed when others won’t
I pick it up when others drop the ball
I want to bang my head against the wall
I should just let the chips fall where they may
What is in my head that makes me that way?
0530
Grumpy Cat is so intense
Here’s some news that will make you squeal
Grumpy cat has a movie deal
Will it be a flop or a hit?
Honey Badger don’t give a shit
0529
Hump day Howard
Lisa and Ronnie finally kiss
Ronnie doesn’t think squirting is piss
Too much Mambo will make Lisa sick
You can play piano with your dick
Maria Menounos won’t pour beer
So Kevin puts it in Richard’s rear
The things you learn that you didn’t know
All today on the Howard Stern show
0528
Unlike is not fun like
I want someone’s head on a spike
‘Cause we’ve received our first “unlike”
Though I’m relieved that you’re still here
What made that person disappear?
0526
To those who served
Decoration Day
By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Sleep, comrades, sleep and rest
On this Field of the Grounded Arms,
Where foes no more molest,
Nor sentry’s shot alarms!
Ye have slept on the ground before,
And started to your feet
At the cannon’s sudden roar,
Or the drum’s redoubling beat.
But in this camp of Death
No sound your slumber breaks;
Here is no fevered breath,
No wound that bleeds and aches.
All is repose and peace,
Untrampled lies the sod;
The shouts of battle cease,
It is the Truce of God!
Rest, comrades, rest and sleep!
The thoughts of men shall be
As sentinels to keep
Your rest from danger free.
Your silent tents of green
We deck with fragrant flowers;
Yours has the suffering been,
The memory shall be ours.
0525
Didn’t blow a fuse
Left casino, we didn’t lose
We went looking to buy some shoes
There were many from which to choose
To get us to buy, some will schmooze
When all we really want is booze
No sales were made, they have the blues
Got in the car and set the cruise
We sped past the cows with their moos
The sunset had such pretty hues
Now we’re back home to take a snooze
0524
Stones of fate
There is a game known as Stones of Fate
You can win tarot cards from your mate
By placing a stone
In a power zone
That looks like a sideways figure eight
0523
Wander lust
Mark is this guy I know
To Europe he will go
He’s trying to raise dough
Via indiegogo
If your green you will show
You can get a photo
0522
Troutstanding
A Trout named Michael
Hit for the cycle
A single, triple
Then a huge double
But he wasn’t done
He hit a home run
Four hits in five tries
With five RBIs
A difficult deed
Needing strength and speed
All Angel fans shout
Congrats to Mike Trout
