211119
Banging Bruins
There once was a Bruin named Josie
And she had a boyfriend named Joe, see?
So Josie and Joe
Would bang to and fro
They humped from the Rose Bowl to OC
Category: Limerick
211112
211112
Big Mouth is big fun
There once was a monster named Maury
A big, hairy dick allegory
Created by Kroll
He’s kind of a troll
Who helps young teens with nutting glory
211105
211105
Alice Nelson and the Brady Grail
There once was a housemaid named Alice
Who liked to clean Mike Brady’s phallus
She’d rub and tug it
Then lickety split
She’d drain it like the holy chalice
211029
211029
Goblin girls
There once was a green little goblin
Her wife and she often were squabblin’
So they’d get some drink
Until they were pink
And come home three sheets and a wobblin’
211022
211022
It’s good to be the queen
There once was a monarch named Betty
Who liked sex with men who were petty
If they had small minds
And sturdy behinds
They’d frivolously get all sweaty
211015
211015
He has so much updog
There once was a vampire named Colin
His energy draining was ballin’
His weapon of choice
A monotone voice
Got everyone’s head to start lollin’
211008
211008
Beddy-bye time to die
There once was a nightmare named Freddy
Who always had blades at the ready
And every night
When kids would sleep tight
He’d stab them right through their stuffed teddy
210924
210924
Teeny broad the naked barber of Main Street
There once was a lass from Youghal Harbour
Who grew up to work as a barber
She thought clothes were rude
So she cut hair nude
The nuns in town wanted to garb her
210917
210917
He put a dongle up his dingle
A lad with a USB cable
Inserted it ’cause he was able
He tried this strange trick
To measure his dick
It’s totally true – not a fable
210910
210910
Straight from the horse’s ass
There once was a man from Tacoma
Who unleashed a deadly aroma
He took the horse pill
Which made his butt ill
And put the whole town in a coma
210827
210827
Yeah!
I like Fish Heads by Art and Artie
I play that song at every party
The lyrics are dumb
I eat them up yum
They’re nutritious, healthy and hearty
210813
210813
Don’t tell them it’s Friday the 13th
Today’s all about reinstatement
Q’s furor is an understatement
Though seven months late
It’s well worth the wait
To celebrate their overweight gent
210806
210806
I will have you – yes, I will have you
I love sipping on iced chai lattes
The perfect drink on those real hot days
It’s cool and it’s sweet
An afternoon treat
If I could I’d guzzle them always
210730
210730
Now that’s a hen party!
The ladies all love charming Bingo
And also his Pegasus Wingo
They give blushing brides
Wild pre-wedding rides
Together they lustfully sing-o
210716
210716
She took all the juice from the humpback
There once was a surfer named Lulu
Who rode big waves in Honolulu
She also rode Ken
Who hung more than ten
His longboard would make her go cuckoo
210709
210709
A short burst of inconsequential information
There is a web app known as Twitter
That most people read on the shitter
Unless you’re spray tanned
And forever banned
Then you sue them ’cause you are bitter
210702
210702
A wee bit of divil in her
A handsome young devil named Kevin
Took hundreds of women to heaven
When his dick got straight
It far surpassed eight
And went all the way to eleven
210625
210625
He crushed his enemies
There once was a quipster named Conan
Who certainly lacked melatonin
But night after night
With all of his might
He helped to produce serotonin
210618
210618
A yankee is a quickie when you’re alone
This dork who would cheer for the Yankees
Would fill all his pockets with hankies
When there was no doubt
He’d whip a cloth out
And celebrate with a few wankees
210611
210611
You put your right one in…
I’m watching a show about Loki
Some think he’s as tasty as gnocchi
They would take it out
And shake it about
In order to do Loki pokey
210528
210528
Don’t bogart those plums
I’ll tell you the tale of Miss Humphrey
Who gorged herself on a packed plum tree
She ran to the loo
Got stuck as she blew
Then struggled to get her big bum free
210521
210521
Too much time
A mistress just outed her pastor
His love life is now a disaster
He’s changed up his plans
For laying on hands
At bation he’ll soon be a master
210514
210514
Dapper fapper
The dandy who dressed rather spiffy
Requested relief in a jiffy
His quaintrelle masseuse
Did swiftly deduce
His stress was contained in his stiffy
210430
210430
Feel his burning love!
A cleric named Abzan Farnese
When burning things sure wasn’t lazy
He’d torch foes and then
He’d blaze them again
You might say he’s combustion crazy
210416
210416
As sidekick to Cap he was plucky
There once was a soldier named Bucky
Who fell from a train but was lucky
He lost his left arm
But no other harm
His new metal arm isn’t sucky
210402
210402
Lent is over!
There once was a sweet baby Jesus
Who did all he could just to please us
Then nailed to two planks
We show our deep thanks
With baskets of eggs and Maltesers
210326
210326
Winnie’s the shit
There once was a Pooh bear named Winnie
He was pretty chubby not skinny
And I must admit
That Pooh is the shit
If you don’t like Pooh, you’re a ninny!
210319
210319
And then they were married
A handsome young diver in Kerry
Was asked where he’s from by sweet Mary
He said quick enough
That he was from Muff
That Muff diver made Mary merry
210312
210312
Still at level five
There once was a woman named Bronagh
Who wanted to visit Verona
But thanks to lockdown
She can’t leave her town
All thanks to the virus Corona
210305
210305
Taoiseach Me-hole!
A Martin named Micheál is Taoiseach
This leak about him gives a wee shock
He has beady eyes
Because ‘tween his thighs
He has trouble finding his wee cock
210226
210226
Oh snap!
A couple named Vision and Wanda
Should never have gone to Wakanda
First killed by his wife
Then Thanos took life
What happened to Vizh is a shanda