200420
420 is good for many reasons
Two years a cat
Imagine that
I’m hoping for
Fifty-two more
Tag: Ireland
Poems and/or Drawings about St. Patrick’s Day, Ireland and/or all things Irish.
200316
200313
200313
He’s going to Maam next
There once was a husband from Cavan
Who drove every weekend to Navan
His wife unaware
Of his love affair
With palindromes that he was havin’
200311
200311
Órfhlaith is Orla
Órfhlaith from Tralee
Has stolen mo chroí (my heart)
If we meet at dawn
She’ll be my leannán (lover)
I would rather be
Just having some spraoi (fun)
But with my heart gone
My hair has turned bán (white)
200309
200309
Tinder tips
Today I was contemplating
If I should share tips for dating
Do not buy whiskey for Clodagh
She only drinks diet soda
You should not argue with Áine
She’ll throw you down and sit on ya
Don’t lend your money to Bronagh
She will not pay back one Krona
Be careful if you bang Fiadh
She gave a “friend” gonorrhea
Hope this did not make you sleepy
Why does it hurt when I peepee?
200306
200306
Sorry Dexy
Poor old pangolin
Don’t eat him like a sloppy joe
Nor top him on your pizza dough
They have thick hide, don’t blame or slay them
It’s spread (from Wuhan)
And spread (to Milan)
Outbreaks here, there and wherever
COVID-19
Choo ah-choo ah-choo ah-choo why-ay?!?
Self isolate forever!!!
COVID-19, wash your hands (thoroughly)
If you’re coughing, do into your sleeve
We don’t possess, a means to address
Oh it’s dirty
Ah, COVID-19
COVID-19
Don’t bring it ’round here
No scanning at our airports yet
So staying inside’s our safest bet
They’ve hinted (No Paddy’s), um, say what? (No Paddy’s)
That won’t sit with us now laddie
We’ll go maddy!
Choo ah-choo ah-choo ah-choo why-ay?!?
Self isolate forever!!!
200304
200304
The oul’ sod is odd
The town of Athy
It sounds like a thigh
When walking in Laois
Please bring your dog’s leash
If ever in Naas
Get out of that place!
I hear that in Cobh
There might be a cove
The towns over here
Are spelled kind of queer
200302
200302
Or Máire either
This one lass named Caoimhe
Is kind of a diva
But nicer than Fómhar
Who’s just mean all over
The reason they’re vicious
Foul, vile and malicious
The names that they carry
Do not make them merry
200221
200221
Using his pin to pull
There once was a man from Dún Laoghaire
A pioneer – horny and cheery
“A lad on the sauce
Is pushing with floss
That’s why I drink chai tea my deary”
200210
200210
Hello Mary Lou!
The country’s run by corporate sheep
The Left’s asleep! The Left’s asleep!
On trolley beds do elders weep
While pay is low and rent is steep
On Saturday the dam did break
The Left’s awake! The Left’s awake!
Let old FG and FF quake
It’s Sinn Féin’s turn for Erin’s sake
200205
200205
Sinn Féin – Vótáil 1!!!
I will not vote for Fine Gael
An FF vote would be a fail
I have much more than half a brain
That’s why I’m voting for Sinn Féin
200131
200131
The long goodbye
No longer Europe’s friend
You thought it best to end
So long
We wanted you to stay
But you fled anyway
Farewell
You will not see us grieve
When all you tories leave
Auf Wiedersehen
Don’t let the door hit ya
Where the good Lord split ya
Adieu
200124
200124
Eff the Effers
FF and FG
Can Eff themselves eternally
It’s time for SF
And every party from the left
200120
200120
Number two for you
Some posters want my number one
But I can’t piss that high
I’ll take a shit and when I’m done
I’ll throw it in their eye
200110
200110
Ask your doctor if boner juice is right for you
There is a first mate in Balbriggan
Who got his balls caught in the riggin’
Now he cannot blast
Or get to full mast
Unless boner juice he is swiggin’
191216
191216
Apologies to Reg
I can’t find sun in Irish wintertime
I know it’s cold, but that’s another deal
Outside’s darkness when I hit snooze on the damn alarm
But these clocks I have, hard to believe their time is real
(Chorus)
Don’t let the sun go down at three
When walking home from town, it’s always dark and I can’t see
So please allow a small beam of that light to shine on me
‘Cause here at wintertime is like the sun going down at three
191204
191204
What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks?!?
In California, the weather is nice
So they play hockey inside and on ice
On the Emerald Isle, you can freeze your ass
So they play hockey outside and on grass
191108
191108
Kept her busy
This lass took her lad, and she showed him
To my doctor friend, and I quote him
“This guy in Tralee
Has not two but three!
That’s why he’s known as Frankenscrotum”
190918
190918
Halfway to Paddy’s day
Boiling praties in a pot
Wearing wellies my mum bought
Hoping Rory score a try
Matching braces with my tie
Drying trousers out the back
Giving out and what’s the craic?
Chancing for a shift or shag
Living here is not a drag
190909
190909
So blow out the candles and have a piece of cake!
It’s my day of birth, but I ain’t new
Like a deck of cards I’m 52
To my Sweetie Pea I’m Sugar Pooh
I did not move here to eat lamb stew
Count ABC’s twice to get my age
I’m like a tiger trapped in a cage
But maybe this year I’ll turn the page
They say 50 plus is such a rage
Took 52 years to get this far
I walk everywhere ’cause I’ve no car
And my birthday wish is so bizarre
But I want to be a viral star
With my rocking rhymes that have such flair
Plus drawings of Linc and Brownie Bear
Since we’re Facebook friends, I know you care
So please do your part and click on “share”
190819
190819
Seeing red
Hurling is rough
Gotta be tough
Smacked in the nose
That’s how it goes
Play really hard
Get a red card
Icing his bruise
Watch his team lose
Back in the town
Everyone’s down
But no one sneers
He still gets cheers
190731
190731
High-jinx
A tough T-Rex named Tony
And a stoned whale named Stoney
Met at the air show in Bray
Then old Stoney and Tony
Saw a polka-dot pony
In a green field chewing hay
Tony then said to Stoney
“Here is my abalone
I must eat pony today!”
So the dinosaur crony
Watched the foul ceremony
Munching his seafood entree
That’s the story of Tony
And his stoned friend named Stoney
Gorging a path to Galway
190701
190701
Will scream for ice cream
I scream
You scream
We all scream…
It’s about fucking time it’s hot enough in
Ireland to eat ice cream!
190607
190607
It’s possible in my head
I tried to drive the motorway
But clearly I should stay away
I did my best but still had fear
Of flying off this big blue sphere
190529
190529
Two weeks was not enough
Goodbye mom and dad
They’re leaving on a jet plane
That was two great weeks
190527
190527
Póg mo thóin
Drive around the Emerald Isle
Cows and sheep mile after mile
Gorgeous views and verdant grass
Don’t like this? Then kiss my ass!
190522
190522
I think that would be apropos
I drove all the way from Mayo
With both of my parents in tow
That sure was a long way to go
I think I deserve a banjo
190520
190520
Damn vertigo
I tried my best to climb the reek
I ended short of the steep peak
My disappointment is miles high
At least I took pics of blue sky
190515
190515
We’ll get some bread at Eurospar
To take my parents really far
I hired us a motorcar
It’s Japanese, not a Jaguar
A ride like that would be bizarre
We’ll go from here to Castlebar
Might even stop in Mullingar
If they return without a scar
They’ll think of me as a rock star
190410
190410
Is maith liom feoil dorcha
I wish I was a polyglot
But one language is all I’ve got
I tried Spanish and Irish too
“Hello”, “Goodbye”, and “How are you?”
So, Duolingo helps to train
These languages inside my brain
190320
190320
Sharkey malarkey
There once was a fella named Fearghal
Who liked to go downtown to burgle
He once came across
Some white, lukewarm sauce
A mouthful he did swish and gurgle