Tag: Automobiles

180706

180706
Water restrictions in Ireland?!?

It’s been so long without the rain
Sure it’s as hot as France or Spain
The whitest Irish has a tan
We’re now under a hosepipe ban
With dirty cars and dying plants
We need to do a Riverdance
Dry kiddie pools – ain’t that a bitch
While water sprays the hurling pitch!

180618

180618
Around the world in 90 days

These last three months have been quite rough
I’ve lived them all without my stuff
I packed it up and said goodbye
And off it went via Shanghai
The trip has been far from banal
It went through the Suez Canal
Then Rotterdam before Dublin
Excitement level is bubblin’
I’m finally gonna get my gear
Tomorrow it’s delivered here!

180330

180330
Traffic was not good this Friday

That was a long drive
Goodbye Santa Maria
Hello Buena Park

180326

180326
So long stuff

The time has come, today’s the day
I’ve packed my stuff, it’s gone away
This empty house, where once was cheer
Is hollow now, without my gear
As I chill with Brownie and Linc
I think of friends, and raise my drink
To Sweetie Pea, I love you most
The sun sets on the Central Coast

170512

170512
Don’t drive angry

I tell you this, it is no lie
Drivers today want me to die
At least four times I’ve used my horn
The first two beeps were in the morn
Two near side-swipes on way to work
And then at lunch another jerk
He came at me from the wrong way
Then flipped me off to end the fray
That’s not enough, now here’s a truck
It’s backing up, *honk* what the fuck?!?
This bad driving has caused a shock
When I go home, I think I’ll walk

161130

161130
In the prick of time

Had to rush Jean for a shot
Her white cells were not a lot
This is what you have to do
When you love your sugar pooh

160902

160902
A vote for HRC is a vote for taco trucks

Four taco trucks are over there
More taco trucks are everywhere
There are so many taco trucks
Latinos have caused this influx
Their culture is so dominant
Their tacos are so prominent
We cannot stop these taco trucks
They’re taking over like Starbucks

160713

160713
Pokemon d’oh!

I will not play Pokemon Go
I never watched that stupid show
I don’t need games to walk outside
Into brick wall I won’t collide
It’s free to play? I’ll get the app
No doubt it sucks, I’m sure it’s crap
I caught Squirtle, he’s pretty cute
I want some more, so off I scoot
Around the corner comes a truck
I level up, and “HOLY —”

160422

160422
I hope he’s laughing in the purple rain

Delirious, Controversy,
Take me with U, Let’s Go Crazy,
Purple Rain, Erotic City
Soft and Wet and Darling Nikki
From Hollywood to Paisley Park
On pop music, Prince left his mark
Oh purple one, we say goodbye
And now it’s more than doves that cry

160311

160311
Gone like rolling thunder

They say good things come to their ends
I say goodbye to my card friends
No more Star Wars or Burning Sands
So much goodness held in my hands
No more Doomtown or L5R
The boxes went into my car
I hadn’t played these games in years
But all packed up, I fought back tears
When I did play, I had a blast
Those memories will have to last
It had to come, this mournful day
The card games have all gone away

160229

160229
My happiness I can’t contain

We woke from sleeping on a train
A hopeless feat while on a plane
We often speed in the fast lane
But that lifestyle’s hard to maintain
It might seem slow and quite mundane
But we get treated like Bruce Wayne
We watch the world sipping champagne
I know next time we’ll take the train

151123

151123
#2 team in L.A.

Tommy Trojan went to town
A-riding in his beamer
Stopped off for a chili dog
But got a Cleveland Steamer
Tommy Trojan kept it up,
Thanks to his nose candy
Afterwards he got locked up
And had to give a handy

151021

151021
Outatime

Thirty years since Marty McFly
Flew way up high into the sky
The car was Doc Brown’s time machine
They landed in Twenty Fifteen
The trilogy got some things right
But it could use a good rewrite
More internet less fax machine
Three Sharknados not Jaws 19
We did not get our hover boards
Self-lacing shoes, or clothes backwards
But that’s okay don’t be sour
When lightning strikes the clock tower
Make sure you’re going eighty-eight
‘Cause these movies are still real great

150824

150824
My back teeth were floating

My speed machine
Flies through the green
Light goes yellow
Cannot mellow
Go straight ahead
Right through the red
Here comes a cop
Not gonna stop
He cannot see
Emergency
Too much iced tea
I have to pee!

150821

150821
12-16 weeks, then see ya!

Gonna get me a passport
Gonna make me a citizen
Gonna sell the old escort
Gonna stop watching CNN
I’m gonna get me a passport
Moving to my father’s land
I’m gonna start watching the sport
Where they do not use their hand

150810

150810
8/8 was great!

The car was packed, we got some gas
A long four hour drive
Reunion for my high school class
From 1985
The year before and after too
Coyotes on the prowl
We didn’t sing awoo-awoo
Or give our mighty howl
I missed the ones that were not there
And even some that were
The bully jock that’s losing hair
I talked with him for sure
The pretty girls are women now
The boys are full grown men
We had some drinks and ate some chow
We spoke of now and then
The best part of the night for me
John Hufferd was there too
He means a lot to so many
To him we say thank you!
Like all good things it had to end
I looked back through the door
My real life pal or facebook friend
Let’s not wait thirty more

150720

150720
Thanks Steve!

Our handyman is known as Steve
He’s super like Christopher Reeve
When There’s a problem we can’t fix
He opens up his bag of tricks
His nails are straight, they never stray
And then our troubles go away

150701

150701
Pull over and sleep it off

When all your fears
Bring you to tears
Don’t suck it up
Top off your cup

150629

150629
All we need is… A big win

They built Vegas in the desert
A lot of dreams on sand and dirt
Sweetie Pea and Honey Bunny
Went there to win stacks of money
They parked their car in the garage
And then saw Love at the Mirage
Cirque du Soleil with the Fab Four
Part rock concert, but so much more
A better show they can’t recall
A splendid time was had by all

150608

150608
Thanks for everything Alan & Karla!

Our visitors were
Karla and Alan
Jean was the chauffeur
We drank a gallon
We tasted some more
A great way to spend
A fiesta for
Jean’s birthday weekend

150415

150415
He waggle danced across my hood

Mr. Bee, you’re on my car
Are you trying to go far?
I sped up, and off you flew
Didn’t get to bid adieu

150320

150320
That weed is high

Here’s the world’s largest weed
Sprouted up from a seed
It’s taller than a bus
Bigger than both of us
There it is in our yard
Tried to burn, only charred
Some poison we did spray
Still it stands here today
Then we both tried to dig
But the roots were too big
So we said, “Let it live
For the shade it will give.
It might be just a weed,
But it’s best of it’s breed.”

150318

150318
Don’t be misled there’s always bed

I think I’ll just go back to bed
Wind blew the hat off of my head
My jeans don’t fit ’cause I’m too fat
My only friend’s a one-eyed cat
I found a bug in my sandwich
I drove my car into a ditch
I owe way more than I can pay
I got shit on by a blue jay
My job is slowly killing me
It sometimes hurts when I go pee
My doctor says I’ll soon be dead
I think I’ll just go back to bed

141225

141225
Merry Christmas from sunny California

I gave myself a gift this year
I didn’t drink a keg of beer
I didn’t buy a box of games
I didn’t dance with dusky dames
I didn’t buy a brand new car
I didn’t travel to a star
I didn’t buy a motorbike
I gave myself a Christmas hike

141215

141215
Flat tire fairy came twice

Another flat tire
There goes my entire
Christmas fund
With only fifty cents
I cannot buy presents
I’ll be shunned
Nothing for my family
No gifts under the tree
Or in socks
Though my wallet is lean
Doesn’t matter to Jean
My wife rocks

141111

141111
Thanks for serving

This day honors those who serve
It’s a privilege they deserve
To protect the USA
We all get a holiday
So we drove around to see
The greatness of our country
We saw nature – oh the feels
Zebras and elephants seals
Hawks and Canadian Geese
A beautiful world at peace
I feel like I’m in heaven
This day goes to eleven

141005

141005
Annabelle is creepy

She is not swell
Her dress egg shell
She makes me yell
Doll dark and fell
So Annabelle
Should go to hell

140925

140925
Red light
Green light
Red light
Fuck you!

Every red light
No green in sight
Every red light
Try as I might
Every red light
So I turn right
Every red light
Both day and night
Every red light
Knuckles are white
Every red light
My lips I bite
Every red light
Give up the fight
Every red light
Finally no slight
Every red light
I’m home – alright!