Author: tkpope

150928

150928
Try not to hate no worries mate

Worst part of the trip is the travel
It makes my brain start to unravel
From lengthy delays on the tarmac
To encumbered bags that hurt your back
Can’t sleep on the plane though I’m shit faced
And then one of our bags is misplaced
The vacation starts when you get there
But sitting around makes me lose hair

150925

150925
Good luck All Blacks!

Our two week trip is at an end
Into a cave we did descend
The glow worms shined as bright as stars
Like fireflies caught in blue jars
We’ve seen and done so many things
Hobbiton from Lord of the Rings
We ate food cooked over tea tree
But never saw a brown kiwi

150904

150904
#2 favorite republican

There’s no more paper on the roll
But I still have to clean my hole
I can’t find any ‘neath the sink
The stench in here it’s hard to think
I see a rag we never use
The stain it leaves looks like Ted Cruz
Vanilla Glade I freely spray
I think I’ll sell it on eBay

150902

150902
Do your job or quit!

Put down the pipe made out of cob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You need to let Jim marry Bob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Don’t pander to the right wing mob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You’re thrice divorced you marriage snob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
Go be a clerk and shut your gob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!
You no good homophobic slob
Kim Davis do your fucking job!

150831

150831
Food is sofa king good!!!

Small tater tots and double cheese
A linguica and large coke please
Tom’s Take Out rules that’s why I say
I want to eat there every day

150828

150828
I’m pretty tea’d off

Every morning after I pee
I can’t wait to imbibe my tea
Weekday weekend doesn’t matter
Drink until it fills my bladder
If I happen to go without
I’ll be angry and then I’ll pout
Hot, iced, green, black and even chai
I’m drinking tea until I die

150819

150819
My anaconda don’t want none

How do birds whistle when then don’t have lips?
Why won’t wales land walk when they do have hips?
How do rock lobsters go to sleep on rocks?
Why don’t snakes fuck more since they have two cocks?

150817

150817
Ain’t I a catch?

My list of fails is still growing
Rarely am I easy going
I wash whites and darks together
I’ve been known to wear green pleather
When it’s pee, I neglect flushing
On weekends, I’ll skip teeth brushing
Don’t know when my nails need clipping
I am flawed, but don’t be tripping

150814

150814
How Brownie sees the world

It’s the greatest day ever
It’s the greatest day since yesterday
It’s the greatest day ever
Throw the ball to me I want to play
It’s the greatest day ever
I can’t wait until I get to eat
It’s the greatest day ever
I’ve been good so please give me a treat
It’s the greatest day ever
Here’s that toy that you let me borrow
It’s the greatest day ever
I’m super happy ’bout tomorrow!

150810

150810
8/8 was great!

The car was packed, we got some gas
A long four hour drive
Reunion for my high school class
From 1985
The year before and after too
Coyotes on the prowl
We didn’t sing awoo-awoo
Or give our mighty howl
I missed the ones that were not there
And even some that were
The bully jock that’s losing hair
I talked with him for sure
The pretty girls are women now
The boys are full grown men
We had some drinks and ate some chow
We spoke of now and then
The best part of the night for me
John Hufferd was there too
He means a lot to so many
To him we say thank you!
Like all good things it had to end
I looked back through the door
My real life pal or facebook friend
Let’s not wait thirty more

150805

150805
This is only a test

There once was an old TV station
That broadcast all over the nation
The staff was let go
Now they have no dough
All thanks to a big corporation

150731

150731
Gray in my beard is also weird

It isn’t fair
That pubic hair
Just grows and grows and grows
I really dread
No hair on head
But plenty in my nose
To my dismay
It’s turning gray
I’m fighting back the tears
This is the worst
I feel I’m cursed
I have hair in my ears

150729

150729
Kill a lion lose your business seems fair

If you want to kill a lion
You’re a dick there’s no denyin’
It’s one thing to shoot a weasel
But why’d you go and shoot Cecil?
You spent a lot to take a life
Better spent on a battered wife
Now you’ve given us a reason
To start dentist hunting season

150727

150727
Mötley scrüed Paso Robles

The Mid-State fair had Mötley Crüe
Nikki, Tommy, Mick and Vince too
They gave us all the Paso screw
Three hours late ’twas sad, but true
The band was fine, but through and through
Vince Neil’s voice sounded like poo
When asked to sing I yelled a boo
With peace and love here’s my FUCK YOU!

150722

150722
It’s nice while it lasts

The Angels have been pretty hot
But time will tell if it’s for naught
Now seven games won in a row
And last lost ’bout two weeks ago
What happens when this hot streak ends?
Will Trout and Pujols still be friends?

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